How to make people laugh

[pleasteasme]

A New Yorker was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered to give her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a" so loud it echoed off the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, the Indian let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a -a-a!" and rode off.

A service station attendant asked the woman what she did to get the Indian so excited and she said, "Nothing, I just sat behind him, put my arms around his waist and held onto the saddle horn, so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

 

[smoothdevil]

> >> Subject: Older & Wiser
> >>
> >> When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
> >>
> >> When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I
> >>decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
> >>
> >> In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
> >>Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the
> >>time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
> >>
> >> When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She
> >> >>was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became
>>>so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
> >>
> >> When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with
> >>her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
>She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.
> >>She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I
> >>decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
> >>
> >> When I turned 29, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet
> >>planted firmly on the ground and married her She was so ambitious that >>she divorced me and took everything I owned.
> >>
>>>
>>>
>>>
> >> I am now older and wiser and am looking for a girl with big tits .
> >>

 

[smoothdevil]

The Top Ten Things Men Know "FOR SURE" About Women

1.


2.



3.


4.



5.


6.


7.


8.


9.


10. They have boobs.

 

[silverwhisper]

bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

ed

 

[smoothdevil]

The Wise Old Jewish Man


In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray,

twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.



So she went to check it out.




She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!




She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.




"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"




"For about 60 years."




"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"




"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."




"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"




"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

 

[smoothdevil]

>>> >Subject: Fw: My Grandpa...
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >This should once again confirm that the most important information
>>> > in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the Internet, but
>>> >from a mentor, and on a very personal level.
>>> >
>>> >My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it
>>> > is a time to reminisce. The long walks we used to take. The long drives.
>>> >The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend
>>> >weekends with him, and the advice he used to give! Much was wasted
>>> >because I was young when he died.
>>> >
>>> > If he were alive today and sharing his gems of wisdom, I'd be a
>>> > better man.
>>> >
>>> >Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the
>>> > jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when he paused,
>>> >looked me in the eye and said.......
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >"Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your pecker look small"
>>> >
>>> >...kinda brings a tear to your eye doesn't it !
>>> >

 

[pleasteasme]

Sister Margaret

Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life.. Then she was called to
her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "Hold
on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord
from the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the Convent
to my dying breath. I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret
exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is just the problem," replied St. Peter. "You never learned right
from wrong and, to get into Heaven, you must know the difference
between right and wrong.
"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into Heaven!" Sister
Margaret pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you get there
I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are finished. We
will discuss your situation then," ordered St. Peter.
Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then immediately
called St. Peter, coughing and hacking.
"Saint Peter" she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes
terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to
throw up."
"Good!" replied the old Saint. "Now you are finally getting a feel for
right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor and call
me when you are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after having several belts
of Jack Daniel's. "Saint Peter.......I feel woozy. That vile liquor
burned my throat and nauseated me. It is all I can do to keep it down."
"Good, good! Now you are starting to see the difference between right
and wrong," said St. Peter with delight..
"Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical
sense. You know, Have sex with him, afterward, call me."
Two weeks passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a
message:

"Yo, Pete, It's Peggy.........It's gonna be a while."

 

[Sarojaede]

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.



The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.



Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.



Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

[pleasteasme]

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.



The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.



Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.



Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

*giggles*

 

[Sarojaede]

Odes To My Lady Love ...

"Of course, 'Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might
be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady."

"Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?"

"If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown
but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?"

"Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?"

"My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent."

"Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the
evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean."

"Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?"

"Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast
eyes upon thy beauty!"

"Wouldst thou away to yon Motel 6 with me?"

"Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question."

 

[Guest]

 

[Saucyminx]

"Of course, 'Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might
be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady."

"Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?"

"If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown
but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?"

"Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?"

"My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent."

"Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the
evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean."

"Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?"

"Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast
eyes upon thy beauty!"

"Wouldst thou away to yon Motel 6 with me?"

"Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question."

I heard at least 4 of these at the last Ren Faire i went to.

 

[Saucyminx]

Why you should never take your husband shopping with you.

Letter:

Mrs. Fenton,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here .

 

[MercyMia]

> Most remember from their school days of having to read and then
> submit a book report on what they had read... I wonder what kind of
> reception
> this would have received during our time in school?
>
> Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by
> Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report,
> with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His cool
> professor gave him an A+ for this report:
>
>
> Titanic:..... $29.99
> Clinton:..... $29.99
>
>
> Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
> Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read
>
>
> Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
> subsequent catastrophe.
> Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love,
> and subsequent catastrophe.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
> Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
>
>
> Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
> Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.
>
>
> Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
> Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
> Clinton:..... Let's not go there.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
> Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
> Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
> Clinton:..... Monica...oh, let's not go there, either.
>
>
> Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
> Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

 

[kayte]

Thank you Minx and Mia ~ Those are priceless!

 

[pleasteasme]

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will have you laughing out loud. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.!
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a d! og on it s head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China , your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh:

 

[pleasteasme]

In line

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?"

"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I'm a lawyer. Do ya see me fucking the guy in front of me?"

 

[MercyMia]

Pleasteasme, thanks! I'm all detoxified now from a vigorous laughing

 

[smoothdevil]

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?"

"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I'm a lawyer. Do ya see me fucking the guy in front of me?"

LMAO LMAO .... unfortunately that's so true

 

[smoothdevil]

Bumper Stickers

"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illiterate? Write For Help.
~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits
With An Unarmed Person.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does
My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boldly Going Nowhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heart Attacks: God's RevengeFor Eating His Animal Friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If You've Never Seen
An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is Lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN
"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED
TO BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR
THE SAME REASON"

 

[smoothdevil]

Subject: motorcycles, women, & God

One Wish

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky
clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have tried to be > faithful to me in all ways,
I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more
time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I
want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she
gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when
she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make this woman truly happy."
...
...
...
...
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge"?

 

[Saucyminx]

snip
Bumper Stickers


All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is absolutely my favorite!

I saw one in the parking lot at the movies last Friday.

Jesus is coming.
Everyone look busy.

 

[smoothdevil]

LIFE CYCLE


>I think the life cycle is all backwards. >You should die first, start out

>dead and get it out of the way. Then, you wake up in an old age home

>feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go

>collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on

>your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your

>retirement.

>

>You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get

>ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you

>play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your



>last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like

>conditions......central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every



>day, and finally you finish off as an orgasm.

>

>I rest my case.

 

[Ron54]

Purina Diet

I have a Golden retriever.
I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to
check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her no, and that I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and
that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was
by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls
and a car hit me.

 

[Saucyminx]

I have a Golden retriever.
I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to
check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her no, and that I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and
that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was
by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls
and a car hit me.

hee hee hee