How to make an inconspicuous pillow sex doll?

[pdans]

I'm 25 and I've never been with a girl before and my hand is getting a little boring after 10+ years of...well, you know. I want to simulate intercourse as closely as possible without drawing too much attention to the materials used because I live with my mom who is very religious and she doesn't know I masturbate and would get mad if she found out. Hence the reason why I can't just buy a blow-up doll or something similar.

Before you make judgement calls and poke fun at me, I'd like to remind you that my personal decisions are none of your business. If you'd really like to know, I'm dumb so I dropped out of college and work at McDonald's now which is why I live with my mom and no girls want to be with a stupid/ugly guy like me so the aforementioned method is the closest thing I'll get to being with a hot chick.

 

[littlebabyclit]

Wow, uh, your life sounds like a mess in several ways, but, rather than judge and offer more advice that you could probably use (and which goes deeper on the big issues) I'll stick to the main question. I must ask: does your mother actually go through your personal belongings? Get something you can lock up, like a small, file box or something. Then, go to a sex shop (or order online) one of those small, portable cyber pussies ? Should be easy to hide that, I think...

And I don't care if she's your mother, she has no right to walk in on you, unannounced, into your bedroom if the door is closed. Can you lock the door? If not, insist she knock first before entering ! You're a MAN, not a little boy...

But dude, you gotta work on your self-esteem issues...sorry, hadda say it... nobody is totally worthless....unless they give up on themselves...

 

[littlebabyclit]

Let me correct myself. You didn't say you were "worthless," but you said no females would want you. Don't know why you said that and I doubt it's totally true but if you feel that unattractive and unworthy of getting a real woman, I hope you take steps to correct and improve how you feel about yourself, so you can get what you want out of life. In addition to the temporary relief of a sex toy, do this also, please?

 

[your_vice]

I know the Fleshlight is popular with guys. It looks like a torch but opens to reveal a synthetic pussy. If you do a search I'm sure there'll be plenty of previous threads on them too.

 

[bronzeage]

Get a box of large latex exam gloves. Lay the glove at the corner of a hand towel with about 2 inches of the cuff hanging over the edge. Roll the towel up into a cylinder.

Pull the glove cuff down over the towel, just like rolling up a shirt sleeve. Hold the towel with a couple rubber bands.

Fill the glove with KY jelly, hand lotion, whatever you prefer and show your date a good time.

 

[NightL]

If you'd really like to know, I'm dumb so I dropped out of college and work at McDonald's now which is why I live with my mom and no girls want to be with a stupid/ugly guy like me

I want you to think about this... maybe the problem is more about your self esteem. First, your are not dumb. In fact you appear to be far more articulate than many who write on this forum. There is really nothing wrong with your grammar or spelling either. If you are confident enough to write on this board and bare your soul, then you are more than confident enough to face the outside world (leave home). You deal with customers and staff everyday while working at MacDonalds, so I would assume you have far more social skills than most who are isolated in offices.

You may be very surprised how your world would open up if you left home and moved into a shared house with others of your own age.

Regarding ugly... ugly is mainly a personality problem, not a physical appearance issue. The same with beauty... it is a person's personality that makes them truly beautiful. Groom yourself well, believe in yourself and what you can offer in warmth and caring for another. Keep being social and LEAVE HOME.

so the aforementioned method is the closest thing I'll get to being with a hot chick.

When I was your age and for the next many years, I started to believe in myself. Doors started to open and so did the dating. Some of the hottest "chicks" I have been with were the women who may be considered ordinary or plain in physical appearance. Some of the hottest sex I have had has been with women who would be considered overweight. Some of the most boring times I have had with a partner are with so called beautiful women who are so obsessed with their appearance they end up being as boring sexually as they are shallow in their personality.

Just leave home and be with people your own age, groom yourself well... have fun... when talking to girls, actually listen to them (rather than just staring at their breasts or just don't get caught doing it) and involve yourself in conversations. Ask questions and avoid talking too much about yourself unless asked questions in return. Be genuinely interested. You may just surprise yourself how things can turn around.

I know this is not the advice you were after... but it may give you far more satisfaction than masturbating at home while worrying about a domineering mother.

 

[pdans]

I know the Fleshlight is popular with guys. It looks like a torch but opens to reveal a synthetic pussy. If you do a search I'm sure there'll be plenty of previous threads on them too.

I must ask: does your mother actually go through your personal belongings? Get something you can lock up, like a small, file box or something. Then, go to a sex shop (or order online) one of those small, portable cyber pussies ? Should be easy to hide that, I think...

And I don't care if she's your mother, she has no right to walk in on you, unannounced, into your bedroom if the door is closed. Can you lock the door? If not, insist she knock first before entering ! You're a MAN, not a little boy...

I've considered Fleshlights before, but for some reason an oversized flashlight that doesn't function and has the cap come off to reveal a vaginal replica doesn't sound like it'll end too well.

I'm 25 and living under my mom's roof. She has every right to do whatever the heck she wants. If I dislike that, then I can just move out.

Get a box of large latex exam gloves. Lay the glove at the corner of a hand towel with about 2 inches of the cuff hanging over the edge. Roll the towel up into a cylinder.

Pull the glove cuff down over the towel, just like rolling up a shirt sleeve. Hold the towel with a couple rubber bands.

Fill the glove with KY jelly, hand lotion, whatever you prefer and show your date a good time.

Eh...this is even less clandestine than the initial Fleshlight idea lol

You deal with customers and staff everyday while working at MacDonalds, so I would assume you have far more social skills than most who are isolated in offices.

This is beyond the scope of this thread, but my line of work doesn't require much interaction on my part. My co-workers know that I don't talk much (I'm not sure if they know whether I even speak English or not) so I mainly perform the manual labor and chores (cleaning in and outside, taking out garbage, unloading trucks on delivery days, help make the food if it's a busy day, etc.). I hardly ever deal with customers.

 

[unregistered]

 

[littlebabyclit]

holy shit !

I want to simulate intercourse as closely as possible without drawing too much attention to the materials used because I live with my mom who is very religious and she doesn't know I masturbate and would get mad if she found out. Hence the reason why I can't just buy a blow-up doll or something similar.

I'm 25 and living under my mom's roof. She has every right to do whatever the heck she wants. If I dislike that, then I can just move out.

Your replies just boggle my mind, and make me wonder if you're a fake poster, just jerking us all around...

Why are you being such a (excuse the pun) pussy in regards to taking care of your own sexual needs, asserting your right to privacy, not only as a man but as a human and an adult, and feeding us who are reading this the classic parental droning of "it's my house and my rules" bullshit, parroting it like you're some kind of brainwashed Stepford Child ? WTF ?

You masturbate without mommy knowing, and yet you say the all knowing, all seeing mommy can do whatever she wants? Does that include barging into watch if she feels like it ? Or cut your penis off for being a sinner ?

You sound (and spell) way too articulate and intelligent to pass off this complete lack of self esteem and inertia you're trying to sell here. Even a McDonald's worker can find a way to move out, by sharing an apartment with others, or even renting a room somewhere in someone else's home. It can be done, and you know it.

I mean, what do you really want to do ? All the valid suggestions in this thread, you have so far dismissed and disqualified, and what else do you expect someone to come up with for you ?

Sorry for the grouchiness, really, but I smell a steaming pile of crap here. Why don't you just take a pillow, draw a smiley face on it, cut a hole through it, and go from there?

 

[pdans]

Why are you being such a (excuse the pun) pussy in regards to taking care of your own sexual needs, asserting your right to privacy, not only as a man but as a human and an adult, and feeding us who are reading this the classic parental droning of "it's my house and my rules" bullshit, parroting it like you're some kind of brainwashed Stepford Child ? WTF ?

You masturbate without mommy knowing, and yet you say the all knowing, all seeing mommy can do whatever she wants? Does that include barging into watch if she feels like it ? Or cut your penis off for being a sinner ?

I respect her for bringing me this far. I lived on my own for a while in several different states hoping for better opportunities occupation-wise, but to no avail which eventually lead me back to her. I don't have any friends so she's all I have, and I just want to make her happy by doing what she wants, even if sometimes I don't like it. Do I deserve the right to perform whatever actions I choose in my own personal privacy? Sure. But that won't achieve anything, and when she's gone I can live without regret and then do whatever I feel like, should I so be inclined.

You sound (and spell) way too articulate and intelligent to pass off this complete lack of self esteem and inertia you're trying to sell here. Even a McDonald's worker can find a way to move out, by sharing an apartment with others, or even renting a room somewhere in someone else's home. It can be done, and you know it.

You're miscalculating me a little there. So I passed English class in high school and know how to spell properly. Is that an immediate indicator in ranking one's intelligence all of the sudden? Whatever I seem to be to you says nothing. If I really were so smart, at twenty-five I'd be in a better position (especially financially) than I am now. The fact is, even obtaining a higher education is difficult when you're not "smart" seeing as how I failed two semesters of community college (not consecutively, but after my first failed attempt I took a break and decided to try again. After my second failure I've given up for the time being).

I mean, what do you really want to do ? All the valid suggestions in this thread, you have so far dismissed and disqualified, and what else do you expect someone to come up with for you ?

I posted just looking for various ideas people had. Maybe there's some clever contributions yet to be made, but I didn't mean for this to turn into some moral-principle-fest.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Get a box of large latex exam gloves. Lay the glove at the corner of a hand towel with about 2 inches of the cuff hanging over the edge. Roll the towel up into a cylinder.

Pull the glove cuff down over the towel, just like rolling up a shirt sleeve. Hold the towel with a couple rubber bands.

Fill the glove with KY jelly, hand lotion, whatever you prefer and show your date a good time.

Fifi!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Your replies just boggle my mind, and make me wonder if you're a fake poster, just jerking us all around...

Yeah, I had the same "troll" feeling at the onset too. I'm sincerely hope I'm wrong here, however, that seems doubtful at this point after the OP's posts and the recommendations made.

To the OP: Forget about a synthetic woman and enroll yourself in a few classes at the local adult education center or community college. Get out and get active with like minded individuals and you're bound to meet some folks willing to get to know you better, if not more. Get counselling and get over your self-eteem issues and maybe other people of BOTH sexes will find you interesting enough to hang out with.

Lastly, we don't suffer trolls well here. We've been around long enough to know one when they're around. Your time will be better spent on the General Board than here, they enjoy people who like attention.

 

[your_vice]

I don't know, nothing on this thread screams 'troll' to me. There are people who are simply painfully shy and will avoid interaction with others at virtually all costs. It's clear pdans is very shy with low self esteem but I don't see how ranting at the guy is going to help him with that. Mental health issues can be just as crippling as physical ones and telling the guy to simply snap out of years of learned coping mechanisms and grow a pair is just counter-productive. There seems to be far less sympathy for shy men than for shy women and I really don't know why. This guy is not even seeking help with his interpersonal skills. He acknowledges he has them but if he's content to stay within his shell, that's his prerogative, as is his acceptance of his mother's house-rules. Not everybody is destined to be outgoing, just as not everybody is destined to be a supermodel or an athlete. To a degree, either you've got it or you haven't and berating the poor man is not going to help him at all.

pdans has asked how to put together a home-made date, not how to do a 180 on his personality. LBC has commented on his psychological problems and despite that not being what he asked about in the first place, he's addressed her concerns politely. I really fail to comprehend where that qualifies as textbook chest beating troll attention seeking.

 

[Sweet_Carolina]

just put one pillow on top of the other, and stick your penis in it, i dont know if it would be anything close to the real thing or not, but it should give you some pleasure!

 

[seemoreme]

Spend some dollars and bang a whore

 

[pdans]

I didn't come here for arguments, either between myself and others or to cause conflicts between other users. If you want to serve me a piece of your mind, go right ahead in PM. I'll check this thread and my messages periodically but I won't post on the forums anymore.

 

[neci]

Dammit! i seriously thought i was going to come here and get pointers on how how to make an inconspicuous pillow sex doll.

here's what i would start with. think of it as a rough draft.
a body pillow. why the body pillow? they are large and fluffy, can be hidden in a pillow case, and there is room to make improvements. now. how do you want your sex dolly to feel? does she need legs, tits or a cunt? take some thread - the kind for quilters. stitch a "V" shape where you want the hole. you can continue your stitching down from the bottom of the "V" to the bottom of the pillow for legs. this could be a good area to grasp onto. if you want tits, think about padding, but be careful. the tits will probably show. if you use a very soft and fluffy padding for the tits, they may be easier to compress when it is time to dress up your little lady. now to the cunt. wrap some leather tight around your dick and squeeze. mark your pattern. cut and sew so you have a leather sleeve. you could really make it out of any material. make sure the material is washable, or design it to come out. you do not want to catch an infection down there. not good.
now. when it comes time to install your leather cunt, cut one straight slit so you can push the leather through the pillow. you could add reinforcement by putting foam around the leather cunt. it's really up to you. sew cunt in place.
play around with it to see what works for your personal needs. you could even look for different textured fabrics to apply to different areas of the doll.

now to hide her. get a body pillow zip up cover. insert pillow doll. zip up. cover this with your pillow case, and pray your mother does not discover your secret.

 

[Guest]

I'm not here to make fun of you but I did just think of something funny related to the topic. I think it was "Portnoys Complaint" where he took 2 pieces of liver the family was going to have for dinner..placed it into radiator, and had his way with it....then put it back in the fridge.

I have no advice. My hand has always worked well for me.

Also, although you didn't ask for advise on how to change your life, I think everyone, including LBC has been sincerely trying to be helpful.

I know you think your life sucks and it probably does right now, but you're still young and have time to make changes that don't require any more intelligence than you already have.

 

[bronzeage]

I didn't come here for arguments, either between myself and others or to cause conflicts between other users. If you want to serve me a piece of your mind, go right ahead in PM. I'll check this thread and my messages periodically but I won't post on the forums anymore.

If you can't handle what was posted in this thread, you have made a wise choice.

 

[littlebabyclit]

I don't know, nothing on this thread screams 'troll' to me. There are people who are simply painfully shy and will avoid interaction with others at virtually all costs. It's clear pdans is very shy with low self esteem but I don't see how ranting at the guy is going to help him with that. Mental health issues can be just as crippling as physical ones and telling the guy to simply snap out of years of learned coping mechanisms and grow a pair is just counter-productive. There seems to be far less sympathy for shy men than for shy women and I really don't know why. This guy is not even seeking help with his interpersonal skills. He acknowledges he has them but if he's content to stay within his shell, that's his prerogative, as is his acceptance of his mother's house-rules. Not everybody is destined to be outgoing, just as not everybody is destined to be a supermodel or an athlete. To a degree, either you've got it or you haven't and berating the poor man is not going to help him at all.

pdans has asked how to put together a home-made date, not how to do a 180 on his personality. LBC has commented on his psychological problems and despite that not being what he asked about in the first place, he's addressed her concerns politely. I really fail to comprehend where that qualifies as textbook chest beating troll attention seeking.

You've made some excellent points, and brought me back to my normally empathic state.

I posted just looking for various ideas people had. Maybe there's some clever contributions yet to be made, but I didn't mean for this to turn into some moral-principle-fest.

pdans,

I wasn't trying to turn it into a "moral principle fest" honestly. I'm sorry if I came across as judgmental and evil. Initially, I wasn't. But when I see someone ask for suggestions, and summarily dismiss them all with what I felt were excuses, I start to lose empathy...

Normally, I don't jump all over someone asking for help. In fact, I've seen it done quite a few times in various boards and I actually dislike it a lot. It has even discouraged me from bringing up some questions of my own.

So I apologize for my harshness. Give the boards a chance, it ain't all that bad. If you toughen up in cyberspace, it may help you toughen up in real life, too.

 

[Guest]

You've made some excellent points, and brought me back to my normally empathetic state.



pdans,

I wasn't trying to turn it into a "moral principle fest" honestly. I'm sorry if I came across as judgmental and evil. Initially, I wasn't. But when I see someone ask for suggestions, and summarily dismiss them all with what I felt were excuses, I start to lose empathy...

Normally, I don't jump all over someone asking for help. In fact, I've seen it done quite a few times in various boards and I actually dislike it a lot. It has even discouraged me from bringing up some questions of my own.

So I apologize for my harshness. Give the boards a chance, it ain't all that bad. If you toughen up in cyberspace, it may help you toughen up in real life, too.

that's cool

 

[SweetErika]

Eh...this is even less clandestine than the initial Fleshlight idea lol

With Bronzeage's idea, you can also use something like one of those clingy produce bags instead of gloves.

I fail to see how this, and similar homemade toys, are less clandestine than a Fleshlight. When you're finished, you simply throw away the bag/glove, unroll the towel and put it away. If you're worried about your mom finding damning evidence like a bag lined with lotion and cum, it'd be easy enough to put said evidence in another bag, or even your pocket, and toss it in a trash can well away from your home.

For the most secrecy, your best bet is to put something together from everyday objects and then disassemble it each time you're finished. You could get a toy like a small silicone masturbation sleeve that can be hidden very easily, but you may want to wait on that until you have a better idea of what you like and the ability to keep small objects concealed.

For ideas on homemade toys, check out Lit's How To stories like this one and this one, any relevant threads in The Blank Manual sticky (like "Household Toys and Lubes") and even sites like http://www.jackinworld.com . When you see ideas that have worked well for others, consider how you can make them work for your situation instead of dismissing them as too conspicuous or complex immediately - a lot of these devices have simple components and are easily modified for different situations and tastes.

 

[Mac98]

Normally, I don't jump all over someone asking for help. In fact, I've seen it done quite a few times in various boards and I actually dislike it a lot. It has even discouraged me from bringing up some questions of my own.

So you're ready to help everyone else out with their problems but feel you can't express your own? That seems hardly fair! Just because you don't want to look like a brutally miserable victim of your own life doesn't mean you can't ask for help or advice...

...Or did I miss something here?

 

[littlebabyclit]

So you're ready to help everyone else out with their problems but feel you can't express your own? That seems hardly fair! Just because you don't want to look like a brutally miserable victim of your own life doesn't mean you can't ask for help or advice...

...Or did I miss something here?

Yes, Macky, you are missing a few things. Firstly, one can offer to help others, without expecting any help in return. Secondly, I'm not "brutally miserable" about said problems of my own. Thirdly, I am not obligated to offer my problems here, I was just mentioning it, attempting to show some compassion to the OP, whom I worry I am party to chasing away from here. Fourthly, this thread isn't about me. And lastly, what does "fairness" have to do with this at all?

 

[Mac98]

Yes, Macky, you are missing a few things. Firstly, one can offer to help others, without expecting any help in return. Secondly, I'm not "brutally miserable" about said problems of my own. Thirdly, I am not obligated to offer my problems here, I was just mentioning it, attempting to show some compassion to the OP, whom I worry I am party to chasing away from here. Fourthly, this thread isn't about me. And lastly, what does "fairness" have to do with this at all?

What I meant to say is that I think it's unfair one would have to help everyone else with their problems and feel they shouldn't get any help dealing with their own. I love helping other out with their problems, though I always expect for those people to be there when I need help of my own.

And perhaps it was the wrong choice of words I used in "brutally miserable victim of your own life", I meant it more in general, not directly to you. It was an exageration, though I think it bombed... I guess stupid 'ol me will know better next time.

So clearing the air, I was just stating that I personally feel it's wrong for someone to help others all the time but feel they have to deal with THEIR problems alone.


And to once again answer the OP. I myself have never used any sex toys, though my friend (who's mom used to work in a sexshop) said the fleshlight was a great investment (though I can't say I'd be thrilled to have my mom buy me one... *shutters*).

On short term, I suggest putting a bit of money aside to just buy a durable, professional toy. But in the long run, I STRONGLY suggest seeking help to get over the self-esteem issues. Everyone has 'em, though, so don't be so hard on yourself. Besides, if you're like 99% of men everywhere, your chances of ever landing a top model with a DD bra size are next to nill... only most men come to that realization early on and end up feeling like they don't really need that anyways.