How to listen more . . . .

[Monazwx]

. . . attentively? This is what I am trying to figure out.

There are products like EyeQ for reading for kids and adults and I'm wondering if there is something similar for listening and retaining information (rather than being interested in the subject. )

Also, does Ginko Bolba (sp.?) work for memory skills?

 

[fgarvb1]

Mona I don't know you.

Is there a story behind your question?

I mean why do you ask?

 

[EJFan]

what did you say?

i'm guessing that there are two ways to address your question. either you're having a medical/psychological problem or a character problem... in other words, there's a physiological reason for it or you just can't seem to find interest in the source (and i don't mean that in a bad way... just a thought, not a jab).

gingko does provide some enhancement in this type of a situation. however, i have heard about and known a number of people who reacted badly to the product. the possibility of a severe reaction is enough to make me recommend you speak to a physician first before taking it.

i'd probably suggest taking a communications course. it's amazing how much a person can benefit from knowing more about how communication actually happens. it seems like one of those things that we just do naturally, but knowing the process in a new and complete way can really help.

just like anything else you want to get better at, the best advice would be to practice... often. challenge yourself to really ingest what's going on around you. use lots of eye contact and find something interesting about everything being thrown your way. it takes a little practice but it pays off.

if it's a character thing (like you just can't find yourself caring about whatever it is, no matter what) then you'll have to work twice as hard because you're changing who you are and what you're used to your behavior being. it'd be like becoming a vegetarian if you've eaten meat all your life.

whatever it is, i'm sure you'll find a way to lick it. (didn't i read this sentence in another thread?)

 

[zhukov1943]

Hmm - maintain eye contact, nod frequently, and interact by asking questions based on the other person's statements.

Now as for the retention part, you've got me there...

 

[Monazwx]

Re: what did you say?

i'm guessing that there are two ways to address your question. either you're having a medical/psychological problem or a character problem... in other words, there's a physiological reason for it or you just can't seem to find interest in the source (and i don't mean that in a bad way... just a thought, not a jab).

It is medical actually. My father INSISTS that he can hear everything we say, and refuses to get himself checked out. We can't drag him to a doctor because he still has his mental faculties and when we tell him that he needs a hearing aid, of course, he's not listening to us. So I'm wondering if there is anything that can make him come around and realize that he needs his hearing checked. But at this point, I'm wondering if he's simply tuning us out.

 

[Monazwx]

Mona I don't know you.
Is there a story behind your question?
I mean why do you ask?

Hello.

My Dad's getting older and won't admit that there maybe something wrong with his hearing, and since he is working on a construction site right now, I'm getting worried.

 

[EJFan]

now i understand

ok... sorry about this misunderstanding, i naturally assumed you were asking for yourself.

i have a 92 year old grandmother who has a similar problem. tell me if this sounds familiar. she doesn't remember people telling her things, doesn't respond to people in a way that indicates she actually hears what's going on and can seem to show interest in hearing the same things over and over as though she's hering them for the first time. does that sound like your father?

my grandmother has all her faculties and is mentally sharp (at least as sharp as we can expect a near-centenarian to be), yet she exhibits some symptoms of memory failure that are actually the result of impaired hearing. i think this is what you're describing with your father.

older people are stubborn. they'll do what they want to do when and how they want to do it. if you're providing any degree of care for seniors like this, you either have to be extremely crafty or take charge like some kind of drill sargeant.

one important thing to remember. if he's not hurting HIMSELF in any way with this problem you can't really force anything on him. in other words, if the only negative thing going on is the frustration of you and others around him, then you can't (and shouldn't in my opinion) force anything on him. so i'd advise you to really assess where the problem actually lies. believe me, i know it's annoying as hell sometimes but you have to weigh all the factors carefully.

 

[Monazwx]

Re: now i understand

ok... sorry about this misunderstanding, i naturally assumed you were asking for yourself.

i have a 92 year old grandmother who has a similar problem. tell me if this sounds familiar. she doesn't remember people telling her things, doesn't respond to people in a way that indicates she actually hears what's going on and can seem to show interest in hearing the same things over and over as though she's hering them for the first time. does that sound like your father?

That's him alright.

Sorry about the confusion. I should said everything in one post.

 

[Monazwx]

Re: now i understand

i think this is what you're describing with your father.

older people are stubborn. they'll do what they want to do when and how they want to do it. if you're providing any degree of care for seniors like this, you either have to be extremely crafty or take charge like some kind of drill sargeant.

one important thing to remember. if he's not hurting HIMSELF in any way with this problem you can't really force anything on him. in other words, if the only negative thing going on is the frustration of you and others around him, then you can't (and shouldn't in my opinion) force anything on him. so i'd advise you to really assess where the problem actually lies. believe me, i know it's annoying as hell sometimes but you have to weigh all the factors carefully.

I'm trying the crafty part to see if I can get him to see a doctor. (Trust me, the drill sargeant method only backfires.) He isn't hurting himself, but with the work that he's involved in right now, there is a possibility and I don't want to be the one receiving a dreaded phone call.

 

[EJFan]

this MIGHT work

naturally, i don't know your father, but here's what i did for my grandmother.

her biggest problem is mobility and i didn't want her to do something around the house that would cause her serious injury (like falling). i knew she wouldn't listen to anyone so i called her doc and told her about my concern for my grandmother. so the doc later called my grandmother and set up an appointment for a PT to come to her house. everything went well and my grandmother was told to do some exercises to keep what strength she had.

it might work if you call your father's doc and tell him/her your concerns. the doc might have a way of contacting your father and convincing him to come in on his own. the old folks tend to trust dr's more than their own families in situations like these.