How to keep him interested

[M's girl]

Hehehe.....if he brings the cuffs, is it then appropriate for me to pack the strap-on?

I would say: yes!

 

[M's girl]

Duh! Compu acted strange resulting in double post! Solly, must be my new Av (or the fact that I, finally, have one... which apparently left compu all confused )

 

[KarenDee]

Solly, must be my new Av (or the fact that I, finally, have one... which apparently left compu all confused )

Wow M's....very pretty too! Is it a bustier? I love the lace!

 

[M's girl]

Wow M's....very pretty too! Is it a bustier? I love the lace!

Thank you! No, it's not a bustier (that's a strapless, no?). This one has straps...

 

[ewopper]

OK, this is not an appeal for bedroom techniques, more a request for advice on keeping him coming back for a 3rd date, and a 4th, and....

A little background: I'm 35 years old and suffered through a messy divorce 3 years ago. Since that time I have not dated anyone, nor had any sex, relying on masturbation to help me get through things. I had gotten married when I was 16 years old, never getting a chance to finish High School. By the time I was 18, I had two kids. My ex-husband was the only man I ever dated or slept with. Despite my ability to give advice freely to others, my sexual experiences have been pretty limited.

Now a new man has entered my life. I've had two wonderful dates with him. To be honest, I'm really not apprehensive about when the sex might start, or how to handle it when it does. What I'd really like is just some down to earth advice on how to treat this guy so that I don't drive him away. I don't want to come across as too desperate, lonely, or eager to trap another guy. Should I just let him call most of the shots as far as how often we see each other, going at his pace? He's a nice, sincere guy, a little on the quiet and shy side, but I think his calm and calculated manner comes from his occupation, since he's a police officer.

My kids are not an issue, since they are 17 and 18, and they met him briefly for about 5 minutes the other day. All I got for feedback from them was "Whoa! Way to go Mom!" from my youngest. Being as how he is hardly the demonstrative type, this was like a July 4th fireworks display of approval!

Any advice is greatly appreciated. I wouldn't even post this here, but several of the answers to recent threads have brought forth some good ideas, so I figured what the hell, I'll give this a shot too!

Don't be too anylititical, as long as you are comfortable with each other let the flow flow freely. When it gets to the sex part play it by emotions, go as far as you feel comfortable. everyone can give advice but only you can tell when you want it, or when the time is right

 

[eudaemonia]

Any updates, KD?

 

[KarenDee]

Any updates, KD?

Well, we did go away for a 3 day weekend last week. We had an absolutely wonderful time, going out to dinner each night. Not getting wild and crazy at the bars because neither one of us likes the thought of drinking and driving. Though we did go to the hotel bar on Saturday night and had several (i.e. probably too many) but it was a short walk back to the room!

I don't have much to add other than he really is a fantastic partner and my kids love him to death. He's spent some time with them both and will be going to the youngest one's basketball game with me! Everything seems to be happening at a slow-ish pace which is just fine with the two of us.

One of the nicest things he said to me recently was something like "You know, you are the type of woman that a man just naturally falls madly in love with. And I'm no exception. But I don't want to ruin it for either of us. Let me just say that the thing that attracts me to you the most is the way you love and respect your children, and how much you want to be a part of their lives, even as they are almost ready to go out on their own. I am absolutely floored by your compassion!"

Of course that also came along with a dozen long-stem roses and a nice card. I just lost it, crying my eyes out. It was wonderful!

 

[eudaemonia]

Wow. That's just awesome. Congrats to you and best wishes for your continued happiness1!

 

[KarenDee]

LOL E...I forgot to add that he loves lurking around here when I'm logged on and reading some of the posts! I caught him doing that the other day and he was a little embarrassed. I giggled so much about it! He really likes the people in the HT group, though he was looking around on some of the other forums and commented something along the lines that "A lot of people have way too much time on their hands!"

 

[Guest]

 

[TBKahuna123]

"A lot of people have way too much time on their hands!"

Boy ain't that the truth! AnD I thought I was spending a lot of time here! Check out the GB!

 

[covariant]

It's great to hear things are going so well for you Karen!

 

[KarenDee]

It's great to hear things are going so well for you Karen!

Thanks! It's about time, I was so miserable for a while, I'm glad things seemed to have turned a corner and I have so much more to look forward to each day now. I hope I'm doing as much to brighten his day as he is doing to mine!

 

[Quoll]

Hehehe.....if he brings the cuffs, is it then appropriate for me to pack the strap-on?

I wonder how good he is at self defence, I just have this picture of you walking up behind him with the strap-on attached, "This is a stick up"

 

[KarenDee]

I wonder how good he is at self defence, I just have this picture of you walking up behind him with the strap-on attached, "This is a stick up"

LOL...or challenge him to a sword fight!

 

[Eilan]

I wonder how good he is at self defence, I just have this picture of you walking up behind him with the strap-on attached, "This is a stick up"

That's a dangerous thing to do to a cop, though. She might just find herself on the business end of a Taser, and I'm sure that's not the "weapon" she had in mind.

 

[Quoll]

That's a dangerous thing to do to a cop, though. She might just find herself on the business end of a Taser, and I'm sure that's not the "weapon" she had in mind.

I was counting on fast reactions, but I must admit I had hancuffs in mind.
Yes a taser could put quite a damper on the evening, especially with KD passed out on the floor and her attachment pointing proudly skyward.

 

[jerseyman1963]

Here's a guy's perspective. I say there are two things to think about here.

First of all, be yourself. Don't worry about what to say or not to say. If you know you have a nervous tick, like when you get nervous you talk about your horrible 8th grade math experience incessantly, well definitely keep that in check. But beyond that, at this point, after a couple of dates, it's clear that this might be "something." The only way that will work out is if you each found out if you really like the real you. The only way to find that out is to BE the real you, so don't worry about what to say or not to say. There's no right or wrong when it comes to that. It's just a question of whether the real you likes the real him and vice versa. So just be you and the rest will follow.

Second, don't forget that HE'S probably having this very same conversation with someone! "I met this women and I like her and we've gone out three times. What do I do now? What do I say? How fast is too fast? How slow is too slow? What do I say???" We (guys) are very, very much like you (girls) in this respect. Don't forget he may be looking at you for clues at the same time that you're looking at him for clues. We just try to keep that a secret so we look all manly and in control.

I've seen you give great advice to others here, so I hope this works out and goes where you want it to go! PS - He also sounds pretty nice. Hiking up a mountain and then going to a Halloween party for kids at the fire house? That's definitely not a guy whose only interest is getting into your pants. Good catch.

 

[KarenDee]

Thanks Jerseyman, it is nice to hear the man's perspective. Sometimes when I think men and women are so different, it's refreshing to hear that we all go through the same thought process, and that maybe we are more alike than we think. The relationship to this point has really developed but slowly enough that we still find new things about each other every day. I know it's still early, but on a scale of 1-10 I'm giving him a score of 11, so what does that tell you?

 

[Eilan]

Yes a taser could put quite a damper on the evening, especially with KD passed out on the floor and her attachment pointing proudly skyward.

She probably wouldn't pass out, but the moment would definitely be ruined!

 

[Denae]

I was counting on fast reactions, but I must admit I had hancuffs in mind.
Yes a taser could put quite a damper on the evening, especially with KD passed out on the floor and her attachment pointing proudly skyward.

LMAO. And you'd never been able to file a complaint about the Taser...can you imagine?

 

[TBKahuna123]

That's a dangerous thing to do to a cop, though. She might just find herself on the business end of a Taser, and I'm sure that's not the "weapon" she had in mind.

Taser or little jiujistu move. It would probably depend on the size of the stap-on in question. You know, bigger the weapon, bigger the threat, the higher the degree of acceptable retalitory force.

 

[Quoll]

Might have been better if he was a truck driver.
"Ok mister, just back it up a bit, that's it keep it coming, left a bit, right a bit, now just ease it back a touch more... we have a connection."

 

[jerseyman1963]

You know, after checking in to see if KD had updated us on this situation, I just realized that my post came pretty late in the game (so far). So I just read through all of them to catch up, and while doing that, I noticed something which I wanted to share with y'all. I've noticed that when someone in this community gets emotionally interested in someone in real life, everyone gets all excited, almost childlike (in the best way) and you can practically see the collective glee jumping off the screen. It's kind of heart warming. Despite the fact that I am shocked (shocked! I tell you) to find out that there are people not using their real names on the internet and (gasp!) posting pictures and using AVs of naked bodies that are not their own (geez, first we couldn't believe everything we saw on TV and now we can't even trust the internet? Does that even though I sent Bill Gates $10 and my credit card number yesterday he's not really sending me a new computer for Christman?), I think it says something good about the basic human nature of most of the people in this community, or at least of the people who seem to gravitate to each other in this sector of cyber space. Just wanted to point this out to everyone, say thanks for the reminder that in the day to day insane rush of things in the real world there are good people all around all the time, you just gotta find them, and tell you all to go out in the world and feel good about yourselves today because you've earned it. And KarenDee... or should we now say, "KarenDee"? Just a friendly warning... all those people who used to write to Dear Abby and complain every time someone wrote in and protested when a reader said, "I'll call myself 'Fred' but that's not my real name..." Well, they're coming to picket your house soon!

 

[KarenDee]

Cheer up Jerseyman (yup, that nic separates you from 16 million others...full speed ahead in the honesty department), I'll be posting my SS#, credit card info and exp. date, and if you hang in there, perhaps I'll even let you use my library card. Gee, you're shocked that I (and thousands of others) didn't post our real pictures here? Al Gore never said this was the post office...or a milk carton!

Picket my house? Just try and find me...I dare ya!

Oh, here's a more realistic avatar for you. Sorry for the deception.