How to handle extreme masochist's
- Thread starter BritGuy4U
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I think the first question is what they consider "extreme" and what limits they think they already have...and also what can you actually do to someone compared to what they would like
Loverskitten
I bite
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I think everyone's definition of "extreme" is different. You should ask her to explain her's.
Loverskitten
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Jinx!
Ha! I said it first tho
Noor
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Ask them what they mean. There are no set standards. I would say she likes to be hurt but pain is different for everyone, what hurts where varies.
This is a subject I've been meaning to bring up here. I have always been frustrated that Sir, my fiancé and my ex-Dom as well won't/wouldn't whip, spank, cane, beat, hurt or whatever me as hard as I would like.
Now, that I Domme another woman, she has the same frustration with me. I'm not squeamish about hurting her, but she always wants more. She does what I do to Sir sometimes and taunts me, to which I now respond by stopping the play, then she really goes crazy
.
I understand now that it is up to the dominant to know when to say when because I think as subs many of us want more. But you can't beat them to a bloody pulp, no matter how badly they want it at the moment.
Sir gives me as much as he thinks I can handle, and nothing more, that's his responsibility. On the other hand, it's my job to accept his decisions. Even though when I'm sitting at my desk on Monday morning I always wish my butt, boobs and pussy were more sore.
Now, that I Domme another woman, she has the same frustration with me. I'm not squeamish about hurting her, but she always wants more. She does what I do to Sir sometimes and taunts me, to which I now respond by stopping the play, then she really goes crazy
. I understand now that it is up to the dominant to know when to say when because I think as subs many of us want more. But you can't beat them to a bloody pulp, no matter how badly they want it at the moment.
Sir gives me as much as he thinks I can handle, and nothing more, that's his responsibility. On the other hand, it's my job to accept his decisions. Even though when I'm sitting at my desk on Monday morning I always wish my butt, boobs and pussy were more sore
.
Stella_Omega
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How about stinging nettles? You'll feel them the next day.
And really, if someone REALLY WANTS TO BE BEATEN REALLY HARD that person should be given their desire at least once. I am not a fan of "I'm denying you your hearts desire for your own good" all the time. The top totally can have limits, but they are the tops limits, not yours, and they need to own that.
Me, it's "I'm too tired to keep on hitting you." I own that.
And really, if someone REALLY WANTS TO BE BEATEN REALLY HARD that person should be given their desire at least once. I am not a fan of "I'm denying you your hearts desire for your own good" all the time. The top totally can have limits, but they are the tops limits, not yours, and they need to own that.
Me, it's "I'm too tired to keep on hitting you." I own that.
HussarVanburen
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Well, one thing you can start with is noting that the plural is not indicated by apostrophes. Apostrophes primarily indicate contraction and possession.
cookiecat
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Punctuation sadist.
desertslave
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Master has more physical limits, these days, than philosophical limits and owns them just like your "too tired." I completely understand that.
I do hope, however, that he might take note of the bolded section above. <batting eyelashes>. With some 'mucho bang for your buck' toys, it's much less difficult.
The majority of the time I genuinely appreciate his self-control. He saves me from becoming my own worst enemy.
Stella_Omega
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I got to watch one of those scenes last night. Three on one. They beat the fuck out of her and fucked the fuck out of her. At first I was a bit miffed because I thought I was going to be in on it but umm... I could not have kept up, actually. The boi in the boots was a hella athlete-- fast kicks. They kept it up until she was in hysterics, and then they all three just folded up around her and cuddled the fuck out of her.
I would take a week to recover, I think-- This little piggie was up and bouncing around a half an hour later. I told her to get under a good hot shower and post the pics of the bruises!
I would take a week to recover, I think-- This little piggie was up and bouncing around a half an hour later. I told her to get under a good hot shower and post the pics of the bruises!
You're right Stella, and while I can't control what Sir gives me, I can control what I dish out to Lynn. Next weekend I'll tell her I'm going move my red line a little further, if she's really ready.
On the same note, for last Mother's Day Sir gave me something he had previously refused to do, a degradation thing, not pain. In the end, I found it wasn't nearly as erotic as I had fantasized, but I'm glad we tried it. He's a very benevolent dictator
.Thanks for the idea Stella. I have no experience with stinging nettles and I have to be careful because anything I choose to use on Lynn can and will be be used against me by Sir, on me and I don't like the thought of nettles being used on my naughty bits.
I started kicking Lynn between the legs "cunt punting" (I don't like that term) and guess who found herself being kicked by a large German man the very next day? That worked out well because I love it, I just wish he would kick me harder. I love when he gives me some good, solid kicks and the fucks me hard. I am going to start a thread on long term pain, I hope you'll contribute.
desertslave
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On the same note, for last Mother's Day Sir gave me something he had previously refused to do, a degradation thing, not pain. In the end, I found it wasn't nearly as erotic as I had fantasized, but I'm glad we tried it. He's a very benevolent dictator
That's the toughest thing about fantasies, IMO; learning which ones should be played out and which one are better off living in your head.
I have one that I'd truly love to have happen, but I know it's beyond Master's willingness. He's picky about what defines "don't break your favorite toy." I'm sure it would heal before it became a problem.
(You'd think after seeing me through several surgeries he'd realize that I heal pretty well. LOL)
