How to Give Good Cyber

[Paul_Chance]

Smooth Transition

I think I'd say something like ... "Ah, thanks for bringing a friend, baby..."

That would be a smooth transition. I'd have to wait until my heart started beating again from the surprise.

 

[GrrlFriday]

I think I'd say something like ... "Ah, thanks for bringing a friend, baby..."

See now, that wouldn't work for me... as soon as they're bringing extra arms into the picture, I just automatically picture them as -having- those extra arms... o_o

 

[britfunk]

See now, that wouldn't work for me... as soon as they're bringing extra arms into the picture, I just automatically picture them as -having- those extra arms... o_o

This is why you need to keep detailed notes as to where your hands are, which is hard when in actuality your hands are in one very specific place and even moving back and forth between there and the keyboard is hard enough...

 

[GrrlFriday]

Making the chat screen bigger would probably help, as you could see more of the scenario and then you don't have to try to remember.

 

[britfunk]

Making the chat screen bigger would probably help, as you could see more of the scenario and then you don't have to try to remember.

That is just too simple. It really is unfortunate though when your getting super hot and bothered and someone says something that just makes you say "huh". I once knew a bi girl who midway through a lovely chat informed me she was going to finger my wet wet pussy. Needless to say I was a bit confused but for the sake of my oncoming orgasm pretended she just meant my, not your.

 

[NaddyKnight]

... community service announcement that should be pinned.

This ^


Concerning extra arms, why don't you assume that one hand has changed what it's doing? It annoys me a little that they don't bother to specify which one but I don't think they've lost count...

If a certain friend of mine is reading this, pay attention to point number three!

 

[box13]

*long sigh*

Looks like I'm still keeping my training pants on for a while yet....

 

[Youremine]

One of the good things about cyber is you can stretch the bounds of the physically possible...but the third hand always confuses me and I want to type...

"WAIT! You've got one hand on my ass, one hand curled in my hair, WHO THE HELL HAS A HOLD OF MY COCK!" In real life, if the third hand appears - I'd be levitating off the bed.

Hahaha!! Omg this is so true

 

[Paul_Chance]

Thumbnail Plot

Another thread brought this to my mind and since it runs along the lines of this thread, I thought I would set it out here as well.

In pursuit of good cyber, try using a thumbnail plot, shared with both writers, before you begin. You can either both contribute, or one or the other can write it. Keep it short, simple, and high level:

-Hotel Bar
-Winter Night
-Classical Pianist
-Business Woman
-Key on the Piano
-Shower
-Sixty Nine on the Bed, in Bathrobes

You'll quickly seperate the wheat from the chaff in terms of cyber-partners, depending on whether or not they can RP the plot and riff on it, which keeping to it.

 

[wendy_c4]

Great advice! If only everyone I chat to would read and apply this!

 

[Lord Pmann]

I had someone to try to teach me the art of cyber once... he gave up on me very quickly.

He probably just came quickly.

 

[JamieJ424]

I already apologized for that! I can't help it. I'm easily excitable.

I had someone to try to teach me the art of cyber once... he gave up on me very quickly.

 

[Scheherazade73]

Bravo, a very entertaining post!

If I may borrow your characters for a minute:

Respect hard limits:

DumbAssGuy69: I can't get hard unless I see a picture of you.
Grrl: Goodbye.

DumbAssGuy69: I want to split your fucking ass wide open with my elephant cock and fuck you till you bleed, and you fuckin love it you little whore.
Grrl: *vomits*

Don't do physically impossible things
It's just confusing.

Don't nag your partner about cumming.
This should be self-explanatory.


As an aside, sometimes it's ok to let one player 'take over' the narrative... as it gives the other a chance to lay back and play... but only when it's a mutually agreeable activity.

Why doesn't MediocreGrrl get a chance to show her mediocrity?

I love this entire thread, but especially THIS. Thank you

 

[Damana]

Just tossing this out there....

Am I the only one that seems to think cybers / sexual roleplays in general have gone down hill as hell? By this I mean...imagination has died.

Nearly any chatroom I've been in has gone "how r u? wat u look like? how big ur tits?" or given me some really fucking generic set up.. student/teacher, boss/employee, bro/sis which has lead to *walks in says hi start to rip off clothes"

Yes ladies and gents...for some damn reason I attract the dumbasses but that's beside the point. I NEED settings. I NEED dialogue. and for gods sakes I NEED LOGICAL interaction. The simple little details and interactions are what make or break it for me personally.

I expect back what I put in plan and simple.

Agree, Diagree, Confused as hell?

 

[Paul_Chance]

We Need A Survey

I think that it is not that people got any better or any worse, but that good cyber partners are pretty rare - and in high demand. I could be completely wrong though. I may have to undertake a complete survey. With government funding.

 

[Damana]

@ Paul: I will donate just to see what the results are

 

[drtyyoleman]

..........So ... that's about all I can think of at the moment. Again, anyone else feel free to weigh in with your own preferences, your own practices, your own annoyances. I may edit this post if I think of anything else, or if anyone puts anything particularly brilliant in the comments.

Have a delicious day, Litsters. And remember, cyber sex is like everything else - practice makes perfect. So get cybering!

~grin~[/QUOTE]

I agree with the entirety of your statments here but I think you could have made it short and sweet by saying "Be respectful, caring, and considerate with your chat partner".

On the subject of the third hand, isn't cyberchatan excersize using your imagination? When I am in a chat I use my imagination to put myself in the room/space with the one I am chatting with and that has my hands (in the conversation) free to caress, massage, hold, grab, slap, whatever. I am NOT affixed to either the keyboard nor my privates.
Remember, it is said that the mind is the most sexual organ humans have. If you limit yourselves to what your physical situation is in reality, why bother to chat at all?

 

[haurni]

Re. use of the word 'girls', I generally take it to mean the opposite of 'guys', not 'boys'.

I try to keep track of where my hands are, but not necessarily to the extent of specifying left and right. If your emotes are detailed enough there shouldn't usually be any problem telling pretty much what position you're both in. Still, those "Huh?" moments can happen. If things are going well, it should be just a matter of clarifying and moving on rather than a mood-breaker.

Get to know each other. Once in a while you'll get extraordinarily lucky and, while in an urgent state of need, find someone else in the same state. In that case, jump right in and have at it. But otherwise, it's usually worth the effort to chat for a while, maybe flirt, pick up a thing or two about your new playmate. It'll be worth the effort.

Absolutely. First of all, if someone can't be bothered to type out full words or sentences, they're not getting any time with me because it would make my head explode (and not the one down there) to spend an hour or more reading that crap. You need to exchange at least some correspondence with the other party to be sure you'll be able to tolerate their writing style. A one-line PM saying "I wanna roleplay you sucking my cock" isn't even going to get the courtesy of a reply from me.

Second, it's important to have at least some discussion of what particularly interests you in terms of activities ("I really like a man to take charge and just fuck me hard" or "I like pee play and light BDSM but nothing really aggressive") so that you're both going in the same general direction in terms of getting your needs satisfied. There's no point starting out only to find that the other person wants you to dress up as a pokemon if that does nothing for you.

Third, you need to take a moment to set the stage ("How about we're in Ten Forward on the USS Enterprise..." or "Let's say I'm coming over to your house for the first time after we've exchanged PMs..."). Both of these can be accomplished in as little as a few lines, though it may take a little more back and forth if your interests are more exotic.

Finally, I sometimes find it useful to discuss what person (grammatically) you're going to use. Some people are more interested in a sort of abstract story-writing involving fictional third parties ("He places his hand gently on her breast"), which I think is less threatening psychologically. Others want a direct personal encounter ("I stroke my cock slowly as I look down at you"). Some may find it awkward to write in one style or the other or may not like the degree of out-of-character (i.e. interpersonal) intimacy or immediacy that one implies or encourages.

 

[Eliphaz]

I want to say I agree that it's gone downhill, but I don't have the motivation to pursue it lately. I don't like the play-acting as much as just regular conversation that finds its way there and "degenerates" further, but you need someone you can have a good normal conversation with before that's even a possibility, and finding good conversation seems harder and harder. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's just that there are so many people here shouting for attention that you have to be really persistant and aggressive to stand out.

 

[haurni]

I heartily approve of a good degenerate conversation!

 

[HandyBill]

We are all here for different things, obviously. But many (maybe even most) of us hope to find someone (or many someones) with whom to engage in those delicious encounters commonly called "cyber sex." That's what they used to be called, anyway ... not sure anybody really uses that term any more. Off and on over the course of the last 15 years or so, I have found these encounters sometimes mind-bending and explosive, often satisfying, sometimes adequate, and sometimes just awkward and embarrassing. (Mostly mind-bending and explosive lately, I have to say. Thank you for that, to the one who knows who she is.)

I would like to offer some of the things I've learned over those years. I don't mean to criticize anyone, nor to tell anyone what to do or how to behave. Only to offer a few ideas to make your online fun time all the more fun.

And if anyone else has any experience, or advice, or things your lovers have done well or things that annoyed you .. feel free to chime in!

Let's be clear what we're talking about here. I'm not talking about how to get a woman (or man) to agree to play. That's up to you. I'm talking about once you've got them on the Yahoo or the MSN or whatever, and it seems clear things are heading in the right direction.

I'm also not talking about just sexy chat, telling each other about experiences or fantasies. I'm talking about that kind of chat that is basically a role-played sexual encounter, complete with stage directions and dialog and so on. It's basically a shared fantasy, even if it's perfectly vanilla in nature, that both parties use as a catalyst for orgasm. It's a shared experience that can be really beautiful.

So .... now that we're on the same page ... my humble advice.

Get to know each other. Once in a while you'll get extraordinarily lucky and, while in an urgent state of need, find someone else in the same state. In that case, jump right in and have at it. But otherwise, it's usually worth the effort to chat for a while, maybe flirt, pick up a thing or two about your new playmate. It'll be worth the effort.

Differentiate between dialog, stage directions and real-life talk. Most people put some little character around their stage directions and something else around their real-life talk. For example:

*This is what I am doing in the scene*
This is what I am saying in the scene.
(This is what real me is saying to real you.)

Or, in practice:

*Slipping my hand to the inside of your thigh, touching oh so lightly, creeping up slowly*
You don't mind if I touch you here, do you?
(I'm getting really aroused .... are you?)

Also, keep the real-life talk to a minimum. It's always been important to me that the girl I'm playing with be aroused and pleased in a real way. Therefore it's often been tempting for me to interject things like (Are you wet?) and (I'm touching ... are you?). But it's best to do so very judiciously, and very rarely ... it does interrupt the flow of things.

Don't say what the other person does. This is a big no-no. Do not assume any certain reaction from your partner. Only describe what you do, and let your lover say what she or he does.

BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I lean back as you slowly sink to your knees*
MediocreGrrl: *I kneel, I guess*
DumbAssGuy69: *I grip my cock and touch it to your lips which obediently part and take me in*
MediocreGrrl: Do you even need me here?

GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *I lean back, my hand on your elbow, guiding you gently downward*
SweetHottie: *taking your lead, I step back slightly and look up at you as I slowly sink to my knees*
AwesomeDude: *I grip my cock by the base and touch the tip to your lips*
SweetHottie: *I eagerly part my lips and take you in just an inch or two at first*

Don't skip ahead. Slow down. Don't assume everybody's naked to start with, and don't get in a hurry to get undressed. You miss some delicious interactions if you get in a hurry.

BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I grab the hem of your shirt and rip it off over your head and stare at your awesome boobs*
MediocreGrrl: Yup, those are my boobs.

GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *With trembling fingers I unbutton first one, then another button, watching as the top of your breasts come into view*
SweetHottie: *My teeth catch my bottom lip as I blush, standing and letting you undress me*
AwesomeDude: *the last button undone, I slip my hands inside the fabric to touch your sides lightly, pushing the two panels of your blouse open, stealing a glance as your nipples are exposed to the cool air*
SweetHottie: *My eyes falling demurely as you gaze at me, exposed, hoping the sight of my breasts arouses you*

Don't say "cum" when you mean "come." Cum means orgasm (or the product of said orgasm). Come means approach. Using "cum" to mean "come" is just .... it's just dumb.

BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Cum sit on my lap.
MediocreGrrl: No thank you.

GOOD:
AwesomeDude: Come sit on my lap.
SweetHottie: Why, are you going to make me cum?

Discover things the way you would in person.

BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Are you wearing panties?
MediocreGrrl: No
DumbAssGuy69: neat. do you shave?
MediocreGrrl: Yes
DumbassGuy69: snazzy

GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *Sensing no resistance, my fingers slip past the hem of your skirt in a slow, tantalizing search of the thin lace of panties or .... whatever else I might find*
SweetHottie: *Gasping as your fingers find not lace but the smooth, swollen lips of my freshly-shaven, bare pussy*

Type out whole words. "I want 2 fuck u" is never going to work on any girl, ever, in any universe.

Use a thesaurus. Or thesaurus.com.

Be descriptive and precise.

Use all of your senses. Imagine the aroma of her wetness, the tacky feel of his precum between your fingers, the feel of a bead of sweat dripping from your temple onto her breast.

Don't push for phone or voice. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, of course, but don't push. I tend to ask before anything gets started whether or not phone/voice would be an option later, if things are going well. If she says no, I don't bring it up again. If she says yes maybe, I'll let the scene play out for a while and then ask once in a real-time interjection, like, (I'd love to move to the phone any time you're ready...) and that's it. If she doesn't respond to that, leave it alone. Nothing will kill the mood like making a girl think what she's giving you right now is not good enough.

So ... that's about all I can think of at the moment. Again, anyone else feel free to weigh in with your own preferences, your own practices, your own annoyances. I may edit this post if I think of anything else, or if anyone puts anything particularly brilliant in the comments.

Have a delicious day, Litsters. And remember, cyber sex is like everything else - practice makes perfect. So get cybering!

~grin~

That's like a training manual - is it out on Amazon!

 

[help_me_Rhonda]

I want to say I agree that it's gone downhill, but I don't have the motivation to pursue it lately. I don't like the play-acting as much as just regular conversation that finds its way there and "degenerates" further, but you need someone you can have a good normal conversation with before that's even a possibility, and finding good conversation seems harder and harder. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's just that there are so many people here shouting for attention that you have to be really persistant and aggressive to stand out.

I totally agree it's the regular conversation that evolves into a sexual one that works best for me.

But that takes a bit of talent as well- there have been PM's that went nowhere- just dissolved. Knowing when and how to turn up the dial is a skill.

 

[sereneone4u]

It has been said before and I will say it again. Great thread!

 

[justin_in_cary]

Just tossing this out there....

Am I the only one that seems to think cybers / sexual roleplays in general have gone down hill as hell? By this I mean...imagination has died.

Nearly any chatroom I've been in has gone "how r u? wat u look like? how big ur tits?" or given me some really fucking generic set up.. student/teacher, boss/employee, bro/sis which has lead to *walks in says hi start to rip off clothes"

Yes ladies and gents...for some damn reason I attract the dumbasses but that's beside the point. I NEED settings. I NEED dialogue. and for gods sakes I NEED LOGICAL interaction. The simple little details and interactions are what make or break it for me personally.

I expect back what I put in plan and simple.

Agree, Diagree, Confused as hell?

I apologize if someone else already answered this one, but here's my two cents: I think that has to do with the general downward trend of porn in general, and especially the "free" porn out there. Young ones grow up thinking that all sex is just wham bam thank you ma'am, with no buildup or foreplay - both of which are crucial to a good cyber session.

Also, I suspect many people are cybering to get a break from their S.O., which could mean less time and more abbreviated responses...

*Justin

 

[sereneone4u]

I apologize if someone else already answered this one, but here's my two cents: I think that has to do with the general downward trend of porn in general, and especially the "free" porn out there. Young ones grow up thinking that all sex is just wham bam thank you ma'am, with no buildup or foreplay - both of which are crucial to a good cyber session.

Also, I suspect many people are cybering to get a break from their S.O., which could mean less time and more abbreviated responses...

*Justin

Your opinion definitely carries weight, I had not thought about that aspect myself.

For me, it depends on the mood, sometimes a long seductive cyber session is called for, other times wild abandonment fits the bill quite nicely too.