MadWriter
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2010
- Posts
- 189
We are all here for different things, obviously. But many (maybe even most) of us hope to find someone (or many someones) with whom to engage in those delicious encounters commonly called "cyber sex." That's what they used to be called, anyway ... not sure anybody really uses that term any more. Off and on over the course of the last 15 years or so, I have found these encounters sometimes mind-bending and explosive, often satisfying, sometimes adequate, and sometimes just awkward and embarrassing. (Mostly mind-bending and explosive lately, I have to say. Thank you for that, to the one who knows who she is.)
I would like to offer some of the things I've learned over those years. I don't mean to criticize anyone, nor to tell anyone what to do or how to behave. Only to offer a few ideas to make your online fun time all the more fun.
And if anyone else has any experience, or advice, or things your lovers have done well or things that annoyed you .. feel free to chime in!
Let's be clear what we're talking about here. I'm not talking about how to get a woman (or man) to agree to play. That's up to you. I'm talking about once you've got them on the Yahoo or the MSN or whatever, and it seems clear things are heading in the right direction.
I'm also not talking about just sexy chat, telling each other about experiences or fantasies. I'm talking about that kind of chat that is basically a role-played sexual encounter, complete with stage directions and dialog and so on. It's basically a shared fantasy, even if it's perfectly vanilla in nature, that both parties use as a catalyst for orgasm. It's a shared experience that can be really beautiful.
So .... now that we're on the same page ... my humble advice.
Get to know each other. Once in a while you'll get extraordinarily lucky and, while in an urgent state of need, find someone else in the same state. In that case, jump right in and have at it. But otherwise, it's usually worth the effort to chat for a while, maybe flirt, pick up a thing or two about your new playmate. It'll be worth the effort.
Differentiate between dialog, stage directions and real-life talk. Most people put some little character around their stage directions and something else around their real-life talk. For example:
*This is what I am doing in the scene*
This is what I am saying in the scene.
(This is what real me is saying to real you.)
Or, in practice:
*Slipping my hand to the inside of your thigh, touching oh so lightly, creeping up slowly*
You don't mind if I touch you here, do you?
(I'm getting really aroused .... are you?)
Also, keep the real-life talk to a minimum. It's always been important to me that the girl I'm playing with be aroused and pleased in a real way. Therefore it's often been tempting for me to interject things like (Are you wet?) and (I'm touching ... are you?). But it's best to do so very judiciously, and very rarely ... it does interrupt the flow of things.
Don't say what the other person does. This is a big no-no. Do not assume any certain reaction from your partner. Only describe what you do, and let your lover say what she or he does.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I lean back as you slowly sink to your knees*
MediocreGrrl: *I kneel, I guess*
DumbAssGuy69: *I grip my cock and touch it to your lips which obediently part and take me in*
MediocreGrrl: Do you even need me here?
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *I lean back, my hand on your elbow, guiding you gently downward*
SweetHottie: *taking your lead, I step back slightly and look up at you as I slowly sink to my knees*
AwesomeDude: *I grip my cock by the base and touch the tip to your lips*
SweetHottie: *I eagerly part my lips and take you in just an inch or two at first*
Don't skip ahead. Slow down. Don't assume everybody's naked to start with, and don't get in a hurry to get undressed. You miss some delicious interactions if you get in a hurry.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I grab the hem of your shirt and rip it off over your head and stare at your awesome boobs*
MediocreGrrl: Yup, those are my boobs.
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *With trembling fingers I unbutton first one, then another button, watching as the top of your breasts come into view*
SweetHottie: *My teeth catch my bottom lip as I blush, standing and letting you undress me*
AwesomeDude: *the last button undone, I slip my hands inside the fabric to touch your sides lightly, pushing the two panels of your blouse open, stealing a glance as your nipples are exposed to the cool air*
SweetHottie: *My eyes falling demurely as you gaze at me, exposed, hoping the sight of my breasts arouses you*
Don't say "cum" when you mean "come." Cum means orgasm (or the product of said orgasm). Come means approach. Using "cum" to mean "come" is just .... it's just dumb.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Cum sit on my lap.
MediocreGrrl: No thank you.
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: Come sit on my lap.
SweetHottie: Why, are you going to make me cum?
Discover things the way you would in person.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Are you wearing panties?
MediocreGrrl: No
DumbAssGuy69: neat. do you shave?
MediocreGrrl: Yes
DumbassGuy69: snazzy
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *Sensing no resistance, my fingers slip past the hem of your skirt in a slow, tantalizing search of the thin lace of panties or .... whatever else I might find*
SweetHottie: *Gasping as your fingers find not lace but the smooth, swollen lips of my freshly-shaven, bare pussy*
Type out whole words. "I want 2 fuck u" is never going to work on any girl, ever, in any universe.
Use a thesaurus. Or thesaurus.com.
Be descriptive and precise.
Use all of your senses. Imagine the aroma of her wetness, the tacky feel of his precum between your fingers, the feel of a bead of sweat dripping from your temple onto her breast.
Don't push for phone or voice. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, of course, but don't push. I tend to ask before anything gets started whether or not phone/voice would be an option later, if things are going well. If she says no, I don't bring it up again. If she says yes maybe, I'll let the scene play out for a while and then ask once in a real-time interjection, like, (I'd love to move to the phone any time you're ready...) and that's it. If she doesn't respond to that, leave it alone. Nothing will kill the mood like making a girl think what she's giving you right now is not good enough.
So ... that's about all I can think of at the moment. Again, anyone else feel free to weigh in with your own preferences, your own practices, your own annoyances. I may edit this post if I think of anything else, or if anyone puts anything particularly brilliant in the comments.
Have a delicious day, Litsters. And remember, cyber sex is like everything else - practice makes perfect. So get cybering!
~grin~
I would like to offer some of the things I've learned over those years. I don't mean to criticize anyone, nor to tell anyone what to do or how to behave. Only to offer a few ideas to make your online fun time all the more fun.
And if anyone else has any experience, or advice, or things your lovers have done well or things that annoyed you .. feel free to chime in!
Let's be clear what we're talking about here. I'm not talking about how to get a woman (or man) to agree to play. That's up to you. I'm talking about once you've got them on the Yahoo or the MSN or whatever, and it seems clear things are heading in the right direction.
I'm also not talking about just sexy chat, telling each other about experiences or fantasies. I'm talking about that kind of chat that is basically a role-played sexual encounter, complete with stage directions and dialog and so on. It's basically a shared fantasy, even if it's perfectly vanilla in nature, that both parties use as a catalyst for orgasm. It's a shared experience that can be really beautiful.
So .... now that we're on the same page ... my humble advice.
Get to know each other. Once in a while you'll get extraordinarily lucky and, while in an urgent state of need, find someone else in the same state. In that case, jump right in and have at it. But otherwise, it's usually worth the effort to chat for a while, maybe flirt, pick up a thing or two about your new playmate. It'll be worth the effort.
Differentiate between dialog, stage directions and real-life talk. Most people put some little character around their stage directions and something else around their real-life talk. For example:
*This is what I am doing in the scene*
This is what I am saying in the scene.
(This is what real me is saying to real you.)
Or, in practice:
*Slipping my hand to the inside of your thigh, touching oh so lightly, creeping up slowly*
You don't mind if I touch you here, do you?
(I'm getting really aroused .... are you?)
Also, keep the real-life talk to a minimum. It's always been important to me that the girl I'm playing with be aroused and pleased in a real way. Therefore it's often been tempting for me to interject things like (Are you wet?) and (I'm touching ... are you?). But it's best to do so very judiciously, and very rarely ... it does interrupt the flow of things.
Don't say what the other person does. This is a big no-no. Do not assume any certain reaction from your partner. Only describe what you do, and let your lover say what she or he does.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I lean back as you slowly sink to your knees*
MediocreGrrl: *I kneel, I guess*
DumbAssGuy69: *I grip my cock and touch it to your lips which obediently part and take me in*
MediocreGrrl: Do you even need me here?
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *I lean back, my hand on your elbow, guiding you gently downward*
SweetHottie: *taking your lead, I step back slightly and look up at you as I slowly sink to my knees*
AwesomeDude: *I grip my cock by the base and touch the tip to your lips*
SweetHottie: *I eagerly part my lips and take you in just an inch or two at first*
Don't skip ahead. Slow down. Don't assume everybody's naked to start with, and don't get in a hurry to get undressed. You miss some delicious interactions if you get in a hurry.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: *I grab the hem of your shirt and rip it off over your head and stare at your awesome boobs*
MediocreGrrl: Yup, those are my boobs.
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *With trembling fingers I unbutton first one, then another button, watching as the top of your breasts come into view*
SweetHottie: *My teeth catch my bottom lip as I blush, standing and letting you undress me*
AwesomeDude: *the last button undone, I slip my hands inside the fabric to touch your sides lightly, pushing the two panels of your blouse open, stealing a glance as your nipples are exposed to the cool air*
SweetHottie: *My eyes falling demurely as you gaze at me, exposed, hoping the sight of my breasts arouses you*
Don't say "cum" when you mean "come." Cum means orgasm (or the product of said orgasm). Come means approach. Using "cum" to mean "come" is just .... it's just dumb.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Cum sit on my lap.
MediocreGrrl: No thank you.
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: Come sit on my lap.
SweetHottie: Why, are you going to make me cum?
Discover things the way you would in person.
BAD:
DumbAssGuy69: Are you wearing panties?
MediocreGrrl: No
DumbAssGuy69: neat. do you shave?
MediocreGrrl: Yes
DumbassGuy69: snazzy
GOOD:
AwesomeDude: *Sensing no resistance, my fingers slip past the hem of your skirt in a slow, tantalizing search of the thin lace of panties or .... whatever else I might find*
SweetHottie: *Gasping as your fingers find not lace but the smooth, swollen lips of my freshly-shaven, bare pussy*
Type out whole words. "I want 2 fuck u" is never going to work on any girl, ever, in any universe.
Use a thesaurus. Or thesaurus.com.
Be descriptive and precise.
Use all of your senses. Imagine the aroma of her wetness, the tacky feel of his precum between your fingers, the feel of a bead of sweat dripping from your temple onto her breast.
Don't push for phone or voice. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, of course, but don't push. I tend to ask before anything gets started whether or not phone/voice would be an option later, if things are going well. If she says no, I don't bring it up again. If she says yes maybe, I'll let the scene play out for a while and then ask once in a real-time interjection, like, (I'd love to move to the phone any time you're ready...) and that's it. If she doesn't respond to that, leave it alone. Nothing will kill the mood like making a girl think what she's giving you right now is not good enough.
So ... that's about all I can think of at the moment. Again, anyone else feel free to weigh in with your own preferences, your own practices, your own annoyances. I may edit this post if I think of anything else, or if anyone puts anything particularly brilliant in the comments.
Have a delicious day, Litsters. And remember, cyber sex is like everything else - practice makes perfect. So get cybering!
~grin~
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