How To: Get over her

[DrBones123]

This is my first time posting in this section but it seems like the people here offer good advice so I'll take my chances.. I met this girl a couple of months back and we hit it off instantly, leading to her being my first time.. We were together for a while and then she ended it because she didn't want to be in a serious relationship.. Everything was going great in my eyes so I was kind of surprised and it has taken me so long to get over.. I've made some passes to try to get back with her because I still like her but even though she's sent out signs she feels the same way, she rebuffs any attempt.. My question is, and might not be able to answered, but how I do get over her? I think about her all the time and no matter what I do I just cannot stop thinking about her...

 

[MR.GGG]

Happens to all of us at one time or another. I don't think anybody hasn't gone through what you are right now. It's a bummer feeling but whether it's a death or she just feels she can't be with you - another boyfriend, away at Univ - whatever - life goes on.

Make an effort to get out and meet other people. Somebody else will pop up eventually and she'll just be a lovely memory you think back to when you're my age.

 

[human_male]

Cut off all contact with her. Don't see her again, or phone her. Eventually you'll think about her less and less. Out of sight, out of mind. Then it's only a matter of time.

 

[EJFan]

Happens to all of us at one time or another. I don't think anybody hasn't gone through what you are right now. It's a bummer feeling but whether it's a death or she just feels she can't be with you - another boyfriend, away at Univ - whatever - life goes on.

Make an effort to get out and meet other people. Somebody else will pop up eventually and she'll just be a lovely memory you think back to when you're my age.

ditto.

i think that pretty much says it all. most everyone here can empathize with you DB. it's just a time thing. be with friends, be sociable and slowly but surely it'll pass just like mr.g said.

 

[DrBones123]

Thanks for the responses, basically what I know I need to do... Human -- I wish I could cut off all contact with her but we have a lot of mutual friends and it's made for some awkward experiences for them...

 

[EJFan]

Thanks for the responses, basically what I know I need to do... Human -- I wish I could cut off all contact with her but we have a lot of mutual friends and it's made for some awkward experiences for them...

that's always tough when you have that kind of situation. avoidance doesn't help anyone and it can suck uninvolved people into the tension.

i gather from the OP that you didn't have a very negative falling out... there may be a friendship that can be salvaged in the long run. you'll gain a more objective perspective on your relationship with her over time and, if all goes well (and you both deal with it maturely) you may wind up being very powerful friends with one another. in the mean time just do your best to be adults about it with one another and keep a little emotional distance. it doesn't make it easy for you (particularly since she was your first) but with a little time and effort i think you could both grow to be very close friends. it happened with me a couple of times and, while it was tough initially, it can be worth it.