How to...get her to talk
- Thread starter SB2020
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NaughtyIsNice
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I adore spicy sex talk, SB, but it's always easier when I'm really turned on.
When things are hot and you're in the groove, ask her open-ended questions that she can't just answer yes or no. "How does that feel?" "Tell me how to move my fingers/tongue/hips." "What do you like about this?"
Be vocal yourself and start with questions she'll reply to comfortably. As things "heat up," adjust the heat of your words accordingly and coax her to join you. Show appreciation for her responses and encourage her to continue. Let her know how much it turns you on, and always accept what she says without judgement (as I'm sure you would
).
Just a few suggestions. Good luck and have fun!
When things are hot and you're in the groove, ask her open-ended questions that she can't just answer yes or no. "How does that feel?" "Tell me how to move my fingers/tongue/hips." "What do you like about this?"
Be vocal yourself and start with questions she'll reply to comfortably. As things "heat up," adjust the heat of your words accordingly and coax her to join you. Show appreciation for her responses and encourage her to continue. Let her know how much it turns you on, and always accept what she says without judgement (as I'm sure you would
).Just a few suggestions. Good luck and have fun!
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
How you get people to talk is by pushing their buttons. Push the right button and youll get an earful. So you gotta be alert and sensitive for the clues and signs.
Zulae
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There are situations which even us chatty women just like to enjoy silently. When I am very close there is no way to get a properly articulated word from me. Before that point I can talk, but it depends on the man: if he only wants me to talk but does not talk himself I don't enjoy it the least.
I don't know if you are able to tell what she thinks, but that is important for how she will talk, too: I don't think in dirty talk, because I don't think what I do is dirty - it's just great fun. So I don't do classic "dirty talk" very often, because it is just not how I feel.
I hope that made some sense.
I don't know if you are able to tell what she thinks, but that is important for how she will talk, too: I don't think in dirty talk, because I don't think what I do is dirty - it's just great fun. So I don't do classic "dirty talk" very often, because it is just not how I feel.
I hope that made some sense.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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SB, have you discussed the subject with her? i would think the approach you would want to take here is "hey, i really love it when [x]. how can we encourage that?"
one thing to consider: if she likes erotica, find out what kind she likes & get a feel for the language & vocabulary she finds sexy. using that language might help encourage her when you're in the moment.
ed
one thing to consider: if she likes erotica, find out what kind she likes & get a feel for the language & vocabulary she finds sexy. using that language might help encourage her when you're in the moment.
ed
thanks for the tips folks. I've tried many of them already in the past, to no avail, though maybe there are better ways I can go about it.
Occasionally I'll get an "I want you" and "oh fuck", but few and far between. When I try to coax anything else I usually succeed in upsetting her, lol.
silverwhisper, that's definitely something I could do better. It's tough with her as she's not someone who likes to talk about sex much, thinks of herself as sexy, or is secure with her body.
Occasionally I'll get an "I want you" and "oh fuck", but few and far between. When I try to coax anything else I usually succeed in upsetting her, lol.
silverwhisper, that's definitely something I could do better. It's tough with her as she's not someone who likes to talk about sex much, thinks of herself as sexy, or is secure with her body.
kiwi_submissive
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Maybe look at how you are talking dirty to her. It can be incredibly offputting or hilariously funny when guys just don't understand how to talk dirty properly.
satindesire
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This is not an inborn skill. She doesn't do it because she's embarrassed that she "doesn't know how".
Teach her by talking dirty yourself, reading erotica together and any other creative means you can introduce it into your intimate life in a gentle and loving way. Once she's exposed to it and absorbs the rhythm and vocabulary of it, she'll do it much more and be comfortable and enjoy it.
Take your time. Be patient, but walk forward even if it's slowly.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
Oh! Almost every woman learns how to talk dirty when it comes time for the divorce. Then they blabber everything that ever happened, to mom and sis and her friends and your friends; all in glorious detail. So be patient.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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my wife is the same way so i've been there. and i can't report that she's the one to initiate the pillow talk consistently, but she does it sometimes: when she's in the mood or really turned on. or had a bit to drink...
but something i've started doing is writing erotica for her. i have some feeling for the kind of language she likes and am a fairly adept writer. so that's the tack i'm taking: creating an atmosphere where erotic expression is normal.
maybe something similar would work for you?
ed
I think this is an important point to remember...there is a huge range of types of dirty talk and each person needs to gauge the right "level" for their partner...not every girls wants to hear how you are going to fuck her pussy hard, some prefer more subtle dirty talk
ROTF! I love it. Yeah, it's funny how a really pissed off woman seems to know a lot of words she never let you know she knew.
I think some women are comfortable with dirty talk and some aren't. Some of it goes back to their childhood when they are told and taught how "little girls behavied properly" and they never seemed to break out of that mindset. Nobody, man or woman, wants to feel embarrassed or judged negatively so be supportive.
Women more than men are generally judged negativaly for using gutter language. Certainly, nobody thinks it's appropriate at church or a PTA meeting. However, in bed, it can be one of the greatest turn ons there is. For me, seeing and hearing a woman act slutty in the right context is very erotic. I love women who are church ladies in public and sluts in private.
Does your wife ever read erotic books or will she watch adult movies with you? There's often good ranuchy language there. Try reading erotic books or stories to each other. If it's "somebody else's" words, maybe she'll be more comfortable saying them. Once she learns that she can say them without lightning striking her, she may get more comfortable with them. Don't force it. Don't make her feel foolish if she falters or seems shy at first. Maybe she'll get there, and maybe she won't. Everybody is wired differently as to what turns them on and what turns them off. I've found that many women have at least some capacity for dirty talk. However, it isn't always a 10 out of 10. Be happy if she makes progress. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Good luck
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
Yeh, drop a divorce atop the old girl and she suddenly expands her vocabulary by at least two octaves.
A guy I grew up with was married to goody two-shoes for 25 years when he dropped a divorce in her lap. Now I knew her for the whole time they were married, and never suspected any of what she revealed to me. I knew her husband since 1959, and never had a clue that he was anything but Mike Brady Vanilla. Her revelations cured my thinking PDQ!
What really frosted her cake was how my pal was doing circus acts with her up till the time he let the cat outta the bag about the divorce. I never thought he was smart enough or creative enough for what she said was going on for 25 years! After she told me what was going on I didn't know whether to high-5 him or recoil in horror.
I wouldn't say I'm even looking for dirty talk, as much as just a display of emotion of some sort. How she's feeling, anything she may want me to do, etc...
subwannabe
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I think communication and practice are the key. You have to communicate how much you want this more and also communicate more accurately exactly what it is that you would like her to say. For instance, you may be more turned on by sexy seductive talk rather than her saying a bunch of "fuck my pussy with your big cock!" type remarks.
Good point. I suppose some guys like things more subtle than others. I personally like it as dirty and disgusting as you could make it but other guys might almost be intimidated by it. It's like how some guys love coy lingerie type pictures and I like it when it's up the crotch without a stich on. But mutual communication without embarrassment is the key. If you don't have that, it could be a long process getting there.
DrMurdock
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tell her to repeat stuff you want to hear if you say it with some confidence.
tell me you love my dick. Tell me that pussy belongs to me etc.
Afterwards tell her how hot it was, encourage her to do it because it's a big turn on for you.
You'll never get it if you don't just tell her what you want
tell me you love my dick. Tell me that pussy belongs to me etc.
Afterwards tell her how hot it was, encourage her to do it because it's a big turn on for you.
You'll never get it if you don't just tell her what you want
WykdWytch
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I agree 100%
SissySalina
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i also agree 100%.
Talk is the best communication and about the only way you get what you want.
LMFAO!!
Call her by her sisters name whilst screwing her. She'll talk right enough and hang on for the ride of your life. Enjoy it though because it will likely as not be your last lol.
S
Spartygrl13
Guest
Reward her sex talk with pleasure: as she responds to your fingers or tongue tell her she needs to keep talking, directing you, etc. or you'll stop what you're doing
100% this.
This is exactly how I was trained to talk dirty. Using sexual language became easier when the hands/mouth/cock would stop. The guy that helped me talk dirty told me what he expected to hear and it really took the initial experience of talking that way to become more comfortable with it. Once i did it, it was actually freeing because I thought the words but never could get them out. The guy loved it and dirty talk made the sex more intense/better. Good Luck!
