How to ..... Forget?

[Zeb_Carter]

The mind is a wonderful and scary place. You may think you have forgotten something traumatic and then one morning you wake up and that is what is filling your mind as if it just happened, again.

You just have to move on, live your life the way you want and try not to look back at the bad things. After being alive for over seven decades there are things banging around in my mind that I would like to forget and do for the most part, until one morning it's happening again. Deep breaths, quickly thinking of other things, if you can, help.

Yet, it's all still there waiting for you to deal with whatever it was. Good luck and I wish you well on your journey.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

No, repressed memory stuff is mostly bullshit.

Then I must be the exception...

When I was 17 I was involved in a motorcycle accident. I remember started off from the light, it was green. I remember seeing the car that would cut me off. Then I was waking up lying on my back with faces looking down at me and a terrible pain in my side.

I don't remember hitting the parked car. I don't remember flying through the air to land in the middle of the street. I was told all of those things by my buddy I was riding with. I only remember the pain after I regained consciousness.

 

[mrmister803]

I wish there were answers to this, but there aren't. The best you can do is forgive and live.

 

[Ropebunny]

Yuh-huh ....

Still trying to forget? Truly shocking that no one has mentioned therapy, since I’m 95% sure trying to forget once and for all is the underlying reason behind why most people first decide to go.

I get that the pain is bad. But a life built on pretending that doesn’t even exist is doomed to fail by definition. At least let that appeal to your logic, yeah? If therapy is out of your financial means for the time being at least consider reading something on trauma. There’s a lot of good shit out there at the moment.

 

[Rosa2019]

...........I have my own personal formula for happiness, but to think it would automatically suit you would be presumptuous on my part.

your personal formula may not suit anyone in particular but it could be enlightening to many. It would be nice to see you start a thread on happiness. I am your faithful fan.

 

[rexbrookdale]

I have tried to sort of fill the bad memory with sand.... I realize this sounds ridiculous.

Maybe, for me, this is a bit like what people do in bad dreams, to try to control the outcome.

When a bad memory comes up, I let it start but as it plays out in my mind I mentally imagine filling the memory with sand. I see the sand fall and cover the memory.

So, like a bad dream that one tries to control by making the outcome positive, in this manner I try to gain a bit of control by saying goodbye and covering it with sand. It's gentle but firm

Then again, as others have mentioned, this method isn't permanent. It just helps in small ways.

 

[settledseas]

hello jaFO.
please hear me out, as i too tussle with a few thing my self.
yet i had to ask my self, why is i do remember?
well cause we bring it up. or sounds, smells or sights help cause us to remember them. these can not be hepled, till one comes to terms with with ' it '. and ' it ' being that that has hurt, wounded, pained , frighten, horridfied or put fear in us.
thus if one work on not bringing it up, letting it embrace them. then one can have ' control ' over it . thus for me, ( and i am a nut )
i tell it, yeah that happened, yeah i did that, yes they did that to me,
or the such. but that was then, i will not let that happen again, i will not do that again! cause i'm bigger now and kno better. and reasure as to why it will not happen again and that i am stronger.
i voice that out where i can hear myself saying it.
and walk away, leave it there. and so for me, a lot of thing i have forgot. and some not so. but i dont let them beat me!
it is I that shuts the door on them! and move on!
I dont think one ever really forgets. it is just put away, far away and deep. we stop bringing it up, reaching for it. and too, letting it have it's way with us. so much so that it get lost. till.. .
and the fight is on again! but the till's can be long standing, and thats a good thing

thank you for having this thread. you just helped me re-afirm.
how to beat back the dark places i have for long known well.
you be safe cya!!

 

[jaF0]

It ALL has to go. Every bit of it.

 

[westmn]

"How do you forget? People, places, events, conversations, etc. There are things I want wiped permanently, never to be recalled again.

Selective amnesia if you will.

I'm not a fan of hypnosis, but if it would work ....."

There is a therapy known as "timeline therapy" that may help. Memories are created through senses and stored in our biological spaces. They can be triggered and are rebuilt through our senses. e.g. thinking of a past event might cause a sensation of feeling, tasting or smelling as an example. The way to change a memory is to go back (in your mind) and change the experience (while in trance or under hypnosis) by re-remembering it. See yourself in the situation differently. See the other in the situation differently. Dial back the intensity of colors, sounds etc. that make up the scene. It works. I've had to use it with many undesirable memories.

 

[46n2]

Debated quite a while about posting this because of some of the stupid useless answers I've seen.

Need real replies, not irrelevant crap.


How do you forget? People, places, events, conversations, etc. There are things I want wiped permanently, never to be recalled again.

Selective amnesia if you will.

I'm not a fan of hypnosis, but if it would work .....

Reading.

Watching.

Honest answer. That's how. And it can only be temporary, sorry.

Take a trip somewhere, for a very long time. Long enough to suspend what you've been stuck thinking about. It's possible to REFORMAT that rat in a cage hell you might be in. And the only way to do that - is look beyond.

 

[46n2]

You might also want to embrace all that shit. Corral it all in. Own it.

It's part of you. It's what you are. Is what you are all bad?

If it was, you never would have asked the question in the first place. The bad things have opened up an avenue to illuminate the GOOD things. See that part.

You'll be fine, mate. Put the work in.

 

[Agrippina60]

There are few, if any genuinely 'pleasant' memories. Almost all are unpleasant in some way. Even the few that are more pleasant moments led to unpleasant outcomes.

There are no real successes.

I need to Format C: and reload the OS (basics like name, age, location of home and finances, etc.) without all the corrupted files and folders.

From my own experiences, I've come to believe everything happens for a reason, we may not quite understand the why, but there is generally something we need to learn from them. Whether it means to forgive, to face the challenges head on that will makes us grow stronger or wiser. I'd rather not forget the things that hurt me, rather to learn from them so I don't repeat them again. Just my way of dealing with things.

 

[westmn]

And I just recently found this "Percusive Suggestion Technique" that is similar to "EMDR" (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) a technique used by therapists to help people "forget" or dull memories that lead to traumatic stress. It is free. It is proven to work. You can download the audio sessions, faq and docs here:

https://www.pstec.org/instructions.php

Another method is EFT (Emotional freedom technique) and is a simple tapping procedure you can do yourself.

Your mileage may vary, but it (EMDR and EFT tapping) has worked for many.

"How do you forget? People, places, events, conversations, etc. There are things I want wiped permanently, never to be recalled again.

Selective amnesia if you will.

I'm not a fan of hypnosis, but if it would work ....."

There is a therapy known as "timeline therapy" that may help. Memories are created through senses and stored in our biological spaces. They can be triggered and are rebuilt through our senses. e.g. thinking of a past event might cause a sensation of feeling, tasting or smelling as an example. The way to change a memory is to go back (in your mind) and change the experience (while in trance or under hypnosis) by re-remembering it. See yourself in the situation differently. See the other in the situation differently. Dial back the intensity of colors, sounds etc. that make up the scene. It works. I've had to use it with many undesirable memories.

 

[mrsjonnie]

I too have things I needed to forget, move on from. I was taught to imagine the memories as boxes. Take the box and place it in a room, then slam the door and walk away. If the mearest incli of a negative memory or thought begins in my head. I say loudly in my head SLAM, SLAM SLAM.. I know it sounds daft, but it works for me. Xxx

 

[jaF0]

A single word in a news article, even a forum post. A single lyric in a song.


The gates to Hell open and a torrential flow of searing terror flows.



I plug it with screams and flailing of limbs.

 

[ChristopherDB]

Stay busy with something that keeps your mind preoccupied. Pick up some new hobbies if needed.

If you are bothered by something that somebody said, does their opinion really matter? Usually the answer to that is 'no'. Should put your mind at ease to some extent.

Sometimes you are set off by one thing, but if you really think about it, maybe the real problem is that you were reminded of some past incident which had the same 'flavor' for a lack of a better term. That past incident is what really needs to be confronted.

Traumatic stuff, you can bury it, but sometimes it comes back full force, maybe because of a song your heard or something you saw. So really for this stuff, some professional help may be the way to go.

Some people suggest writing a story about what bothers you. I assume you are an author so should be able to pull this off. You can change names and places and there is no need to publish it or post it anywhere. Just get it out of your system.

I hope this is some helpful stuff.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Debated quite a while about posting this because of some of the stupid useless answers I've seen.

Need real replies, not irrelevant crap.


How do you forget? People, places, events, conversations, etc. There are things I want wiped permanently, never to be recalled again.

Selective amnesia if you will.

I'm not a fan of hypnosis, but if it would work .....

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN---, PM AND I WILL EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW IT CAME ABOUT.
I KNOW YOU ARE LOOKING FOR 'REAL' SHIT NOT THE BULLSHIT.

I know of a technique that you may find useful...

 

[Lady2020]

Debated quite a while about posting this because of some of the stupid useless answers I've seen.

Need real replies, not irrelevant crap.


How do you forget? People, places, events, conversations, etc. There are things I want wiped permanently, never to be recalled again.

Selective amnesia if you will.

I'm not a fan of hypnosis, but if it would work .....

I guess it depends on what you want to forget. As one ages, memory changes--short term and long term. I'm guessing as we age our brains can only hold so much. What really devastated me in my 20's-40's doesn't now. I don't think I would want to forget the memories that caused pain. It leads to empathy, which most of us need, and most of us have in short supply.

 

[jaF0]

Memories, memories, go away, never come back any other day.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Memories, memories, go away, never come back any other day.

Did I mention this before? The movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

[B]Spoiler Alert! I'm going to give away the plot![/B]

A scientist invents a way for people to erase unwanted memories from their minds - and of course he charges them for it. Two people come in, separately (Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet) and ask that their memories of their failed love affair be erased. (They don't know that the other one is doing it too.)

Then they meet again by accident and the same situation starts all over again.

The point is that your memories, good and bad, are you. Everyone has bad memories; it's the price of being human.

 

[jaF0]

Space Lasers ... acquire target ... lock.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Space Lasers ... acquire target ... lock.

What are you talking about? You can't consciously remove unwanted memories. As Lady2020 suggested above, they may fade over time, become less important, or perhaps (unlikely) disappear.

 

[jaF0]

Make it go away .....

 

[jaF0]

Sometimes it's just one word.



One simple word.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Sometimes it's just one word.

One simple word.

We can't help you unless you tell us what is going on with you. A bad break-up? A job loss? Cancer? An existential crisis? I wonder if you are on drugs or having a mental breakdown. Why are you even posting these enigmatic statements?

"You're talking a lot but not saying anything." - The Talking Heads