How to find time

[ChromeCollar]

Is this an elusive thing, time for a single parent to just sit and relax? Where do the weekends go, in between cleaning the house, grocery shopping, mowing the two acre yard, working on the semi and entertaining my three year old? Advice on how to keep my sanity would be WELCOME!

I work twelve hours a day Monday through Friday, then come home and go to the gym four nights a week for a couple hours, and my patience level with my child has dropped dramatically. Is there some sort of magic trick? Hoping some of you parents out there will have some answers or suggestions. All the single parent support group boards I have checked into sucked, so maybe someone here can help.

 

[fille]

If you work twelve hours a day and then spend four nights a week at the gym, how do you have time for your child? I'd say something has to give.

Personally, I had to give up the gym for quite a while when I was struggling to handle my full time job and two kids without assistance. I know that is a shitty compromise, but there it is. If you can't cut back on your working hours, you probably need to cut that back in order to have enough time to spend with your child. Oddly enough, more time with your children seems to improve your ability to be patient with them.

Is it possible for you to get some exercise equipment at home? That's one thing I have done - I put my exercise stuff in a room with a tv/vcr and some toys. My kids watch movies and play while I work out. Yes, sometimes they are a pain and cut into my work out, but hey, we are together.

 

[ChromeCollar]

I've thought about picking up an eliptical (sp) for the house, havent checked into the prices yet. An hour of that time at the gym is usually devoted to swimming, which my daughter gets to go into the pool on open swim nights.

I guess I could work out at home, and then on open swim nights take her up to the Y. I'll have to start checking into pricing, thank you Fille. ;]

 

[watergirl]

Exactly!

Chrome collar, I don't know -

Do you have family nearby to help you out at all? Could you meet some other single parents in your area and maybe work out a babysitting swap service - might be easier than paying a sitter, and give your three year old some interaction... although I guess she/he gets that somewhere while you're at work?

I have to recommend the Head Start program for when your tot gets a little older - my mom used to work with them, my best single mom friend sent her kid there, and she was thrilled with it - it's a prekindergarten thing, and I think that is aimed at low-income/single parents? I don't know any specifics but it's something to tuck in your head for down the road.

Good luck!

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm sorry, but does your child even know who the hell you are? 12 hour workdays, couple hours at the gym four nights a week. Give up the gym. You can't do much about the hours you work, but you can provide that precious gym time to your child. And quite frankly, spending the time with the child will probably give you nearly as good a workout.

 

[Lou Nuttick]

Priorities

Drop the gym. Even 12 hours a day is too many away from your child. If you can cut back on it without getting fired or crippled financially, do that too.

At four nights a week, I bet you're spending more hours at the gym than interacting with your daughter (her being asleep or watching television while you're doing something else doesn't count).

This opportunity to spend her formative years together is precious, and will be gone all too quickly. Sooner than you realize, she'll be grown and out of the house. You'll look back on these days and regret every hour that you could have spent with her, but didn't. I guarantee you won't feel the same about missed hours at the gym.

Sometimes it's hard to keep your perspective with the needs of day-to-day living clamoring for your attention, but once in a while, try to take a step back from all that for a broad view. And when you do, see if you can figure out what's really important.

 

[entitled]

Look into headstart for while you're at work. Your child will be eligible, but you have to get an application in early. TRUST me.

As for spending time with her and the patience thing, I agree with dropping the gym routine. Use her as weights instead. It's good exercise for both of you (and fun for her) to use her as a bench press - all my kids have loved it!

 

[ChromeCollar]

I have looked into headstart, and I am not qualified finacially. I was told I am to high in the earning income bracket to enroll her. She is scheduled for a great preschool in the fall, and already has an awesome baby sitter.

I suppose I could cut down my workdays, as I own my own business, but I was lucky enough to find a place to lease my truck on that I can be home every night. The workdays dont seem to bother her at all, and she looks forward to the gym, as she gets to interact with all the other children for the hour that I work out. I think if I did cut that out, she might be upset about it. Thanks for your advice, there has to be a happy medium somewhere.

 

[NawtylilGirl]

I'd say just start to cut back the timing - instead of a 2 hr time at the gym - go for 45 min - skip lunches with work and leave half hr early to get home - eat on route.

start skimming and it should help a little bit.