how to find sub

[master1709]

how do i find a submissive girl on literotica to have fun with

 

[Eilan]

You could try the BDSM Personals.

I'd also recommend participating on the boards and giving people a reason to want to get to know you.

 

[satindesire]

how do i find a submissive girl on literotica to have fun with

You can start with presenting yourself in a light that would make yourself seem like a good person to "have fun with".

Do that by using correct English, as in capitalization, punctuation and spelling. Don't use text speak. Remember that this is LITerotica, where most people greatly respect and enjoy the English language and don't want to see it butchered.

Participate in the forums with thoughtful remarks and don't spend too much time in "game" threads flirting with anyone that'll pay attention to you. Don't just spend time lurking and then wonder why no one trusts you. Actions speak louder than words. If you present as a thoughtful, honest, knowledgeable, intelligent person and you have nice pictures, your chances of meeting a submissive will go up a hundredfold.

Get your post count up by using your brain instead of using your genitals, SHOW people that you're a Dominant that knows what they're doing. Put up a profile picture that isn't your penis. When you pass 100 posts and can put up an avatar, don't put up a cock shot there, either.

Remember, women aren't here for your dick...if you want to have fun, make it worth their time by making it more than just cyber sex.

Above all, please keep in mind that the women you're talking to are people. Human...Beings. They're not YOUR submissive until you two are in an established relationship, so keep your Dominance restricted to YOUR submissive and don't try and top A submissive until they give consent. Regardless of genitals or gender, we're all people and deserve to be treated as such so be compassionate, thoughtful and smart about your interactions. Using women for quick cyber thrill isn't going to win you a lot of popularity points around here.

 

[NightL]

you could try saying "please..." - but not reach the intended audience

I dunno - whistle and type "Oi get over 'ere". Hold on, you would have to type "whistle" - think the emphasis maybe a little lost there.

 

[Kikoro]

Since I've had a rash of unsolicited PMs lately with this same issue, I will also say that if you DO decide to solicit someone via PM, make sure you AT LEAST took the time to learn about who they are and what they talk about here on the forums and bring up any commonalities you noted as potential topics of discussion. That shows that you have at least some interest in them that doesn't involve the use of your penis, and that your interest is directed specifically at them...not just a mass PM sent out hoping someone will respond.

Do NOT attempt to research details about them outside of this forum, or you may be labeled a stalker. Only after you have established some common ground is it appropriate to ask for an e-mail address or IM screen-name.

 

[KlaytonFrost]

In answer to your question, I would say good luck. Spelling and grammar are great. Participation is even better. These are baselines to start from. Once you're an active and participating member of the boards then maybe start looking up people whose posts you find interesting.

I sincerely believe that by *trying* to find a sub (as in, if you come on here with that and only that goal in mind) you won't succeed.

 

[monkeyman057]

how do i find a submissive girl on literotica to have fun with

I think the moral of the story here is if you've just come here to get your rocks off then (the ladies on the site believe) you've come here for the wrong reason.

They (the ladies) tend to be a bit defensive about guys that come on too strong, don't make an effort at composition, blindly send PMs hoping to snag an easy thrill, or do anything else that might be offensive to a woman out in the real world.

Personally I think they are expecting a bit much from a site that is ultimately here for the purpose of helping people get their sexual jollies, but in fairness this is not nor has it ever claimed to be any kind of social networking site - though it doesn't stop many users of the site from trying desperately to shove that square peg into the round hole. There are sites like that out there that are painfully easy to find and if cyber-playtime is what you're looking for I daresay that you'll have more success looking in your spam email folder.

Good luck to you, and please be careful not to anger the ladies again. They simply hate it when you ask questions without punctuating.

*removes tongue from cheek-pocket*

*finds a desk to hide under*

 

[BeachMomma]

My $0.02 worth:

The ladies of Lit have tons of experience in differentiating sincere friendship from cyber-play. Our bullshit meters have been honed by many men who have preceded you. If you simply want cyber-play, the personals forums are the way to go. If you want to develop a sincere friendship, cyber-play may follow. Very few of the regular Lit ladies will give you the time of day with only three posts under your belt. Don't fall into the trap of believing that since Literotica is an erotica forum, the ladies are sexual fodder. A cyber-sexual relationship here is much like a real-life sexual relationship. It takes time and effort to develop a relationship. Literotica ladies don't really appreciate being treated like free cyber-prostitutes.

Talk to them in the regular forums. Treat them as respectfully as you'd want somebody else to treat your mother or your daughter. Once you get to know them, you may even get lucky.

A word of warning, though. Lit ladies may ignore you if you send them private messages. Even worse, if you persist, the ladies are very talented at cutting a pain in the ass off at the knees.

 

[subwannabe]

If all you want is to find a sub then there are better places to do it rather than finding one here. Literotica is basically for those that think with their brains, at least some of the time anyway. If you want to find someone who thinks with their pussies you need to look elsewhere.

 

[satindesire]

I think the moral of the story here is if you've just come here to get your rocks off then (the ladies on the site believe) you've come here for the wrong reason.

They (the ladies) tend to be a bit defensive about guys that come on too strong, don't make an effort at composition, blindly send PMs hoping to snag an easy thrill, or do anything else that might be offensive to a woman out in the real world.

Personally I think they are expecting a bit much from a site that is ultimately here for the purpose of helping people get their sexual jollies, but in fairness this is not nor has it ever claimed to be any kind of social networking site - though it doesn't stop many users of the site from trying desperately to shove that square peg into the round hole. There are sites like that out there that are painfully easy to find and if cyber-playtime is what you're looking for I daresay that you'll have more success looking in your spam email folder.

Good luck to you, and please be careful not to anger the ladies again. They simply hate it when you ask questions without punctuating.

*removes tongue from cheek-pocket*

*finds a desk to hide under*

What I find most amusing about that statement is the fact that a great deal of the people I'm very good friends with don't come here to wank, but to be social.

Just because a bar is a place where you CAN meet women and hook up doesn't mean it's a "hook up joint".

 

[Beck31]

Also don't be a douchebag and start demanding ladies PM you. I do agree that you want to inquire respectfully in the BDSM boards. Websites like Fetlife or Lush may also be worth checking out. With that bieng said good luck OP.

 

[MsQuote]

LOTS of great advice!

I'm not much of a PM'er, but if you're looking to break the ice in a PM, ask for permission and state why you're approaching them. I most women prefer to have had some kind of "conversation" on the boards before bringing it into PM's.

You might want to check out the PM Asshattery thread to see what NOT to do! Well, maybe just for fun.

Good luck!