How to fashion a wooden dildo

[Motu79]

The peach tree in our garden needed to be removed, and that´s what I did. The result was lots of thicker branches, and I thought, why not fashion some nice wooden dildos out of them .

Question 1: There is quite a lot of sap in those branches, so what do I do against the wood drying out and cracking? Currently I think the best way is to peel of the topmost layer of the bark so that the wood can dry a little, and then the rest - good idea?

Question 2: What coating should I use? I have heard (i.e. read) of polyurethane being used, but is healthy to use (I mean vagina and ass absorbs stuff)? What else would there be out?

 

[Eric623]

I'm not sure if wood is the best material for a dildo. Always a chance for a splinter or something like that, and as you pointed out, most finishes for wood consist of petroleum byproducts or other chemicals. You could make a carving of your favorite phallus from the peach wood, more as a piece of art then cover it with a condom before using it in a more personal manner.

 

[Lust Engine]

The peach tree in our garden needed to be removed, and that´s what I did. The result was lots of thicker branches, and I thought, why not fashion some nice wooden dildos out of them .

Not meaning to curb your enthusiasm, but what's the motivation for fashioning wooden dildos?? Is there a particular reason aesthetically??

 

[EarnestImp]

Question 1: There is quite a lot of sap in those branches, so what do I do against the wood drying out and cracking? Currently I think the best way is to peel of the topmost layer of the bark so that the wood can dry a little, and then the rest - good idea?

Question 2: What coating should I use? I have heard (i.e. read) of polyurethane being used, but is healthy to use (I mean vagina and ass absorbs stuff)? What else would there be out?

Often, wood is dried by painting the end to seal it so the moisture doesn't leave too quickly from the endgrain. Fast drying is what causes checking/cracking.

The coating is harder. After you finish turning the wood on a lathe, how about painting it with a slow setting clear marine epoxy?

Fruitwoods like pear and apple have a very nice grain, but I've never heard of anyone using peach.

 

[Motu79]

Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

Not meaning to curb your enthusiasm, but what's the motivation for fashioning wooden dildos?? Is there a particular reason aesthetically??

Well, what other materials are there? I don´t have an oven to burn clay, so wood appears to be the default material, no?

Besides, wood really can grow into interesting shapes - I have for instance one peace with three ends (one thick, one thin, the one in the middle too short to "use") which I intend to turn into a "double butt plug": the thinner end for warm-up, the thicker end afterwards, the one in the middle as base. Or just think of all those spots where smaller branches grow out of the original branch: they stand out a little and are hence very likely to give very nice additional "friction". I think these things as well as a few other aspects make wood a very interesting material imo.

 

[Motu79]

Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

Often, wood is dried by painting the end to seal it so the moisture doesn't leave too quickly from the endgrain. Fast drying is what causes checking/cracking.

The coating is harder. After you finish turning the wood on a lathe, how about painting it with a slow setting clear marine epoxy?

Fruitwoods like pear and apple have a very nice grain, but I've never heard of anyone using peach.

Thank you for your helpful input, especially on painting the ends.

Besides: I hand carve them; no lathe at home, and you can probably imagine that I dont want to go somewhere else to fashion these dildos.

How would this epoxy feel like? Smooth? Is is safe to use i.e insert, or are there some health risks?

 

[Motu79]

Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

sorry, hit the wrong button

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

Thank you for your helpful input, especially on painting the ends.

Besides: I hand carve them; no lathe at home, and you can probably imagine that I dont want to go somewhere else to fashion these dildos.

How would this epoxy feel like? Smooth? Is is safe to use i.e insert, or are there some health risks?

I actually own a carved wooden dildo.

It was made on a lathe, so I can't help you with the carving part. It was sanded down VERY well, then covered with a 'food-grade finish'...which, I'm assuming, is something like polyurethane. He used three coatings of it, sanding it lightly between each coat, then using a very thin coat for the final one. He told me that it's the same stuff used on plastic dishes and such in cafeterias. I'm not sure what that means from a chemical standpoint, but I'm sure someone here can probably elaborate on that.

I have had it for a while...no problems at all with cracking, splintering...I simply wipe it with a mild anti-bacterial soap and dry it very thoroughly before putting it away.

I'm not sure how much this helps...but the dildo-maker DID tell me that using anything less than 'food-grade finish' could cause problems for using it as it was intended.

S.

 

[EarnestImp]

Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

How would this epoxy feel like? Smooth? Is is safe to use i.e insert, or are there some health risks?

Epoxy should be quite smooth, but it might need the usual treatment with successively finer sandpaper and steel wool to smooth it out, possibly followed by another thin coat and more smoothing, just like fine furniture. I think epoxy is safe after it has cured (just plastic, essentially), but I would google it to make sure. The advantage is that it is waterproof - it is used for making laminated wooden boats, for example.

 

[Motu79]

Re: Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

'food-grade finish'

Ok, will watch out for that

 

[Motu79]

Re: Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

Epoxy should be quite smooth, but it might need the usual treatment with successively finer sandpaper and steel wool to smooth it out, possibly followed by another thin coat and more smoothing, just like fine furniture. I think epoxy is safe after it has cured (just plastic, essentially), but I would google it to make sure. The advantage is that it is waterproof - it is used for making laminated wooden boats, for example.

Ok, thanks to you too!

 

[Lust Engine]

Re: Re: Re: How to fashion a wooden dildo

Well, what other materials are there? I don´t have an oven to burn clay, so wood appears to be the default material, no?

Besides, wood really can grow into interesting shapes - I have for instance one peace with three ends (one thick, one thin, the one in the middle too short to "use") which I intend to turn into a "double butt plug": the thinner end for warm-up, the thicker end afterwards, the one in the middle as base. Or just think of all those spots where smaller branches grow out of the original branch: they stand out a little and are hence very likely to give very nice additional "friction". I think these things as well as a few other aspects make wood a very interesting material imo.

Hmmm..I never knew that wood could be such an erotic material! The things I learn here on Lit.

Well, good luck with your endeavors!

It gives the term "tree-hugger" a whole new spin now!

 

[Amfig]

I've used marine grade epoxy to build three boats now. Stick with polyurethane.

 

[Lust Engine]

I've used marine grade epoxy to build three boats now. Stick with polyurethane.

Oooo...just make sure the epoxy has dried LONG prior to usage! It could be one heinous scene if it isn't!

 

[sheath]

IDEA!

I thought about this thread this morning. I was sitting there, bored out of my mind, playing chess...and I picked up one of the pieces to just kinda play with it. The pieces are hand-carved. Small set, of course...just a tabletop thing. But it made me think...

I remember reading a story once...I can't remember which book it was, but I THINK it was "The Adventures of Jessica Lynn". Anyway...she winds up with two guys who have one of those really large chess sets. The king is something like twelve inches high, and the pawns are about four inches, something like that. And guess what? Those pieces turn out to do double duty as carved wooden dildos.

So I got to thinking, of course...depending on how much of that tree you have, you might be able to do that. Just carve them like normal pieces, but maybe with more rounded edges...some of them that could be used for insertion, some with strange angles like the knight? Those could be used for different sensations. And maybe carve the queen in such a way that she is the largest insertable dildo?

You could make a table with a light wood and a darker wood. It wouldn't be that difficult to do.

Just an idea...

I think I'm going to have one made for myself.

S.

 

[EarnestImp]

Re: IDEA!

he pieces are hand-carved. Small set, of course...just a tabletop thing. But it made me think...
..... Just carve them like normal pieces, but maybe with more rounded edges...some of them that could be used for insertion, some with strange angles like the knight? Those could be used for different sensations. And maybe carve the queen in such a way that she is the largest insertable dildo?

Oooooh. And what happens when you take a piece belonging to your opponent? This could turn chess into a whole new, um, ballgame.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: IDEA!

Oooooh. And what happens when you take a piece belonging to your opponent? This could turn chess into a whole new, um, ballgame.

My point exactly.

S.

 

[EarnestImp]

Re: Re: Re: IDEA!

My point exactly.
S.

Must remember to brush up on opening moves before participating, or great embarrassment or even pain could result....

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[sheath]

AWESOME idea!

Isn't it, though? I wish I could remember exactly where I saw it, because believe me...that author was INNOVATIVE.

I've started seriously thinking about it. I need a new chess set, and I would like to have a larger one. It could work!

S.

 

[EarnestImp]

I've started seriously thinking about it. I need a new chess set, and I would like to have a larger one. It could work!

Yes, but what would the rules be?

Would one be required to wear the last (or biggest) piece one had lost?

What if you have a male playing a female? There is a difference in, um, carrying capacity.

Would it be a big board, like twister, and would contestants be required to crawl about on it?

And would it be a spectator sport?

 

[FastFastr]

use alot of sandpaper, splinters would KILL

 

[Lust Engine]

This makes strip poker seem so much more duller now! An intellectual stripping game!

Oooooo!

 

[Rubber Biscuit]

Don't worry about splinters. Friction'll wear that puppy smooth.

 

[sheath]

Yes, but what would the rules be?

Would one be required to wear the last (or biggest) piece one had lost?

What if you have a male playing a female? There is a difference in, um, carrying capacity.

Would it be a big board, like twister, and would contestants be required to crawl about on it?

And would it be a spectator sport?

Hmmm...good questions. Most of which couldn't be addressed until said players were actually in the heat of...ummm...battle.

Difference in 'carrying capacity'...hmmm...wonder if the king, perhaps, might have a removable crown that doubles as a cockring? Just a thought...

And I'm all for spectator sports.

S.