How to be an introvert

[MrAnderson360]

I'm really at a loss on this issue. How do you connect with others being a true introvert.

 

[ashbb]

I'm really at a loss on this issue. How do you connect with others being a true introvert.

Is your problem connecting with people or meeting them? True introverts tend to be more reflective and self aware so connecting isn't hard once they step out of their rich (and comfortable) inner worlds as long as they are self aware enough to address any major flaws in appearance or social skills. Meeting people is usually a bigger problem. Rec sports have been a great way for me to meet people, but women have a really easy time getting placed on teams whereas men find it hard so that might not be a good fit. Where do you try to meet people? What kinds of problems do you have connecting?

 

[MrAnderson360]

Is your problem connecting with people or meeting them? True introverts tend to be more reflective and self aware so connecting isn't hard once they step out of their rich (and comfortable) inner worlds as long as they are self aware enough to address any major flaws in appearance or social skills. Meeting people is usually a bigger problem. Rec sports have been a great way for me to meet people, but women have a really easy time getting placed on teams whereas men find it hard so that might not be a good fit. Where do you try to meet people? What kinds of problems do you have connecting?

I don't really try that hard. I've been going to dog parks. Thinking that'd be a good way. But people here are so .. distant. Like they just keep walking past you and don't strike much conversation. It's different than fifteen years ago. Everyone seems to have their own lives and no time for anything extra. Stuck in their phones. I don't think I have problems connecting. People say it's easy to talk to me and find me very kind and fun. I just don't like doing group things. Social to me is just one other person. Add more and I start getting overwhelmed.

 

[ashbb]

I don't really try that hard. I've been going to dog parks. Thinking that'd be a good way. But people here are so .. distant. Like they just keep walking past you and don't strike much conversation. It's different than fifteen years ago. Everyone seems to have their own lives and no time for anything extra. Stuck in their phones. I don't think I have problems connecting. People say it's easy to talk to me and find me very kind and fun. I just don't like doing group things. Social to me is just one other person. Add more and I start getting overwhelmed.

Just from reading other things you say on here, I notice that you boast a lot about things people normally wouldn't and some of the things you say are contradictory. I know that online is online, but people are very good at picking up on bragging and lying and both are unattractive.

However, dog parks are also bad places to meet people now. I can't prove this is covid, but I think it's covid. Dog parks have a lot more pet owners now who likely shouldn't be pet owners. They're places to pay attention.

 

[kyblue12]

Don’t forget…. Introversion is a spectrum, not a point. From one introvert to another, that always helps me to remember. Some introverts are closer to extrovert and some (like me) are far from extroverts.

We also need to keep in mind that interactions make us spend mental energy. Think about interactions in your daily life. What kinds leave you feeling drained and exhausted? What kinds don’t? Focus more on interactions that don’t leave you drained. For me, a face to face interaction is draining. A message here at lit, not so much. You have to find the things that work for you.

 

[MrAnderson360]

Don’t forget…. Introversion is a spectrum, not a point. From one introvert to another, that always helps me to remember. Some introverts are closer to extrovert and some (like me) are far from extroverts.

We also need to keep in mind that interactions make us spend mental energy. Think about interactions in your daily life. What kinds leave you feeling drained and exhausted? What kinds don’t? Focus more on interactions that don’t leave you drained. For me, a face to face interaction is draining. A message here at lit, not so much. You have to find the things that work for you.

I do want face to face. I need that in my life. Online and a message here and there isn't enough. Nature regenerates my energy. So possibly something in nature. With others. I really don't have interactions in daily life other than my wife and MIL. Technically there's a girl that comes over at ungodly hours to visit us, but other than that, I don't really interact with anyone else. Work is from home and interactions are extremely limited

 

[kyblue12]

Might be worth looking at something on the quiet side.... maybe find a book club or something similar?

 

[MrAnderson360]

Might be worth looking at something on the quiet side.... maybe find a book club or something similar?

Usually book clubs are indoors. I appreciate your suggestions. I'll think along the lines of outdoors, clubs maybe, quiet... something will hit me

 

[kyblue12]

thats all it is.... you know what will work for you, you just gotta put the pieces together.....