how to ask a hottie out.....

[redbombr0]

i posted this in the main ho to forum, but i think the cafe is a more appropriate place. so here's my situation: there is this girl in one of my classes that is very attractive. though she has a bit of a tummy, she has a great figure (think hourglass). she is really intelligent, too, and that kinda makes her intimidating! i have wanted to ask her out for a really long time, but i dont know how...the problem is, I had this habit of making immature comments for the first half of the year, and I think she has this impression of me as a dumbass. on top of that, i am pretty shy when it comes to this kind of thing, and she may have a boyfriend.
anyone have any suggestions for a poor schmuck like me? i would really appreciate some tips!

 

[Eilan]

How old are you?

 

[redbombr0]

lol! i'm 18.

 

[eudaemonia]

there is this girl in one of my classes that is very attractive. though she has a bit of a tummy, she has a great figure (think hourglass). she is really intelligent, too, and that kinda makes her intimidating!

I suspect you're trying to be sincere. But what is this bit about her tummy? Are you trying to find some flaw in her to make her less intimidating in your world? Please, do her a favor and stay away if this (minor) tummy thing is an issue for you -- because she _will_ pick up on that and that won't work in your favor.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I suspect you're trying to be sincere. But what is this bit about her tummy? Are you trying to find some flaw in her to make her less intimidating in your world? Please, do her a favor and stay away if this (minor) tummy thing is an issue for you -- because she _will_ pick up on that and that won't work in your favor.

I suspect that this may be a feature that some guys think is a detraction, so he qualifies his attraction to her by saying "even though..." I get it, I do that too sometimes, even though I try not to. This is a good lesson though for a young man, don't get so hung up on what the snarky nose int he air folks may term as what is proper or improperdefinitions of beatuty or sexy or anything else. If you think she's hot, then she is no matter what anyone else thinks. Beauty has nothing to do with perfection, and sexy has less to do with physical appearnace than most people think.

You're 18 and you got nothing to lose, not even your pride, should she turn you down. If you ask her out and she isn't intersted, nothing lost. If you don't askl her out and she is interested, you've lost out on the hottie. Just do it.

Of course that's easy for me to say, I was the freakin shy kid at your age. How many "hotties" did my fear of girls cost me? I really don't know, but my best friend seems to have a mental list that he likes to rattle off everyone once in a while when the subject of high school/college comes up. I learned early on that self confidence and not fearing being told no are all it takes. I wouldn't change a thiong about my love life, but I certainly would have had more fun had I learned that sooner.

Besides, if you are always afraid to take a risk because someone might laugh you will have a very long and uneventful life.

 

[eudaemonia]

Good advice, TB.

Apologies to the OP if I came off harsh. Some of ladies can be pretty insecure about not having concave tummies, perfect breasts and flawless skin.

 

[jerseyman1963]

I'm with Eu and Kahuna. Just go for it. You never know what's going to happen until you try. Over the years I've had a number of friends tell me about how they couldn't get a date when they were younger, or couldn't get a decent date, because the good boys worthy of going out with were too intimidated by their looks, intelligence or social status. Once or twice since high school and college I've even had women I stayed friends with tell me they wished they had known I was interested, because they would've gone out with me in a heart beat.

You just never know what people are thinking until you take the big chance, and there's only one way to find out. Even if she shoots you down, you'll still have had the experience of working up your nerve to do it, which will make the next time easier.

And frankly, I think you've got a great opening line: "Your participation in class has always impressed me as thoughtful. On the other hand, I think I probably made a bad first impression in class, and I was wondering if I could get a chance to turn that around over coffee (or dinner, or lunch, or whatever)." Go for it. In my book, nothing is more impressive than someone who knows they made a dumb ass out of themselves and is willing to change it up and prove otherwise.