How to ask a girl...

[johndorian55]

Okay, I'm 19, my ex-gf and I still get along great because we broke up because I went to college 1300 miles away. She is 17 now, but will be 18 ina month

When I get back in about 3 weeks we've already talked about continuing the sexual side of our relationship and it'd be less frequent as when we were dating.

But here is the thing, I'm a virgin and so is she. I think eventually this summer we may have sex. So far she's only given me handjobs and I don't think she wants to do blowjobs anytime soon. I've already told her about some fantasies that I have that include her giving me a handjob in the shower, anything in the shower for that matter, and her giving me some what of a striptease.

There are a few things that I'd like to ask her to do for me, but I don't know how she is going to accept these things and what is the best way to deal with a shy girl such as this and pruder than I am...

So what is a nice way to aska girl for

1) A striptease/lapdance
2) The shower situation
3) titty fuck? *ive mentioned this once in a cyber session with her and i absolutely love the idea of doing this to her*
4) Taking pictures of her, not necessarily her in the nude, but just sexy positions
5) fingering her?..ive never done this because she never really wanted it but shes kinda hinted that shes ready

Any suggestions?

 

[EJFan]

edit... i misread.

lit rule is no sex discussion involving those under 18.

 

[johndorian55]

edit... i misread.

lit rule is no sex discussion involving those under 18.

shes going to be 18 when I see her though....

 

[Bobmi357]

Nineteen and so horny it hurts.

Well skippy all your ideas are nice, but I don't hear you offering to do anything in return for those little favors. You'll find things work a lot better when you approach the situation from the viewpoint of 'Oh my god, that woman is a person! I better make sure her needs are taken care of as well as my own.'

It's called quid pro quo, or you scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.

The point is, if you want sex, hire a hooker. If you want a healthy, loving relationship, never forget that you are half of a partnership and it's your duty to see to her needs as much as it's hers to see to yours.

Now having said that, ask her, but include what you intend to bring to the table. You want a blow job? You better be willing to reciprocate. There's nothing more thrilling than having your woman's legs nearly crush your skull from the orgasm you just gave her with your tongue.

And mind you, I want you to sit down and forget all this advice until she's eighteen. All the world knows that you shouldn't be thinking of having sex until you're old enough.

-Bob

ps. No underage virgins were harmed in the creation of this message

 

[johndorian55]

Bob, I understand, the thing is-she isn't interested in any of that...Whenever I ask her, she says I don't need to....Maybe she's changed her mind since then, but as far as I know-she doesn't want anything

 

[SweetErika]

Nineteen and so horny it hurts.

Well skippy all your ideas are nice, but I don't hear you offering to do anything in return for those little favors. You'll find things work a lot better when you approach the situation from the viewpoint of 'Oh my god, that woman is a person! I better make sure her needs are taken care of as well as my own.'

It's called quid pro quo, or you scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.

The point is, if you want sex, hire a hooker. If you want a healthy, loving relationship, never forget that you are half of a partnership and it's your duty to see to her needs as much as it's hers to see to yours.

Now having said that, ask her, but include what you intend to bring to the table. You want a blow job? You better be willing to reciprocate. There's nothing more thrilling than having your woman's legs nearly crush your skull from the orgasm you just gave her with your tongue.

And mind you, I want you to sit down and forget all this advice until she's eighteen. All the world knows that you shouldn't be thinking of having sex until you're old enough.

-Bob

ps. No underage virgins were harmed in the creation of this message

Be still my heart!

It's nice to see you back in these parts, Bob! You've been sorely missed, and many of us have long wondered where you disappeared to so suddenly.

 

[Bobmi357]

Be still my heart!

It's nice to see you back in these parts, Bob! You've been sorely missed, and many of us have long wondered where you disappeared to so suddenly.

Well I'm back now. It was rough, the terrorist group I joined was just a little confused, we were going to hijack Ireland and hold it until Hawaii and Britain traded places.

Frankly I didn't think it had much of a chance of working, but the idea of seeing Alyx in combat fatigues and carrying a machine gun was just so erotic I couldn't pass it up.

Fortunately I came to my senses. I think. Maybe not. I mean, I've got to be nuts to be posting here right? So the whole senses thing is debatable.

Nice av btw erika.

-Bob

 

[SweetErika]

Oh, and here's my on-topic contribution (in addition to seconding Bob's great advice)...

So what is a nice way to aska girl for

1) A striptease/lapdance

I'd go with something like, "I love your gorgeous body, and think it'd be fantastic to see you do a slow striptease, and maybe even give me a lapdance sometime."

Be prepared to tell her what to do, though! If she's like I was, she may have no clue as to what she's supposed to do, so you may have to give her specific directions, with lots of positive feedback (e.g. in a confident 'bedroom' voice: "Start with your skirt. Let it slide over your hips and then drop to the floor. Ah, yes, that's beautiful.").

2) The shower situation

Suggest taking a shower together. Ask if you can wash her hair, soap her up and scrub her back. Lots of kissing and gentle touching. Tell her you've fantasized about this moment, and would love for her to touch you. Let her figure out how to do that, giving lots of positive feedback as she gets closer to what turns you on, and gently guide her, if necessary.

3) titty fuck? *ive mentioned this once in a cyber session with her and i absolutely love the idea of doing this to her*

I'd wait on this one, but the shower can also be a great place to do this, especially if she has any qualms about semen. Again, guide her and give lots of praise.

4) Taking pictures of her, not necessarily her in the nude, but just sexy positions

Another thing to wait on, IMO. Then, suggest it in advance, asking if she'd ever consider taking some sexy pictures of each other (maybe to give yourselves mementos for when you're apart/away at school?).

5) fingering her?..ive never done this because she never really wanted it but shes kinda hinted that shes ready

After a TON of foreplay, when she's really wet, let your fingers wander down. Stroke her inner thighs, labia, clit and opening for a good amount of time (way too many think penetration is the shit, and rush this stuff ). LISTEN to her feedback, how her body responds, and/or ask her to tell you what feels good and not-so-good because you really want to please her. Then, start with one finger (ideally the middle), very slowly. Tell her how amazing she feels and turned on you are. Continue to slide that one in, curling it up toward her tummy, rubbing the front wall of her vagina.

Read up on finding her g-spot beforehand, but don't take any instructions as the gospel, since we're all different and some women don't like g-spot stimulation. The only right way is the one she enjoys. Don't set yourself on trying every technique or her coming; just let it be an intimate, exciting exploration.

Once she's comfortable with that, you can add a second finger. Don't go too fast or just pound in and out like a jackhammer, which is usually about as pleasurable as one. Be gentle unless she indicates wanting it rougher...enjoy exploring and making her feel good!

Give lots of positive feedback and ask how things feel throughout the whole experience.

 

[M's girl]

...Whenever I ask her, she says I don't need to....Maybe she's changed her mind since then, but as far as I know-she doesn't want anything

So........ what makes you think she'll be wanting all the things you are suggesting?

Get to know her. What she likes. In bed, but certainly (and first) outside of the bedroom! Like Bobmi said: make love to her and gradually find out what she likes. If and when you manage to blow her mind with your love, touches and words, only then you can start thinking about what you would like in return... and if you do things right she will be more than happy to please you back!

 

[johndorian55]

Just wanted to clear up some things because some of you are like "Think of her and blah blah"

Look, we're pretty much best friends, I haven't seen her since January and she wasn't single then...The last time I saw her when she was single was October.

We'd most likely be dating still if I didn't go 1300 miles away...

So don't think I'm just using her for sexual favors, because I'm not, we do other things, too.

 

[Eilan]

So don't think I'm just using her for sexual favors, because I'm not, we do other things, too.

I don't think that the people who have already posted to this thread are thinking that you're just using her. The concern seems to be that you're more focused on what she can do for you sexually than how you might be able to reciprocate. And that, possibly, you're not taking her inexperience into account.

At least, that's how I'm seeing it.

 

[sutherngent985]

I have to put in my 2 cents here....

Shes 18...not matter if shes a virgin or not she is going to be inexperienced. No matter what she has said when you IM with her, she is going to be nervous and skittish. All this talk of 'I want to' is just going to make her more nervous. This is a time of learning and just learning to be a decent lover without all the extras is hard enough. Take your time, learn all you can about pleasing her and save the fancy stuff for later. You have your whole life in front of you...are you in that big a rush as to maybe ruin a girls memories of her first times?

 

[johndorian55]

I have to put in my 2 cents here....

Shes 18...not matter if shes a virgin or not she is going to be inexperienced. No matter what she has said when you IM with her, she is going to be nervous and skittish. All this talk of 'I want to' is just going to make her more nervous. This is a time of learning and just learning to be a decent lover without all the extras is hard enough. Take your time, learn all you can about pleasing her and save the fancy stuff for later. You have your whole life in front of you...are you in that big a rush as to maybe ruin a girls memories of her first times?

Look, I'm not asking for advice on the things you're talking about... I have her best interest in mind.. I didn't ask about all this other crap you people are talking about because I know how to do that already....

I've planned my first time for sex out with her already... Like what I'm going to do for her that night with everything. Whether it's this summer or next summer or five years from now.

So please, I've gotten good opinions on the stuff I want to know about. If I asked how to handle my whole life with her, I would have asked, but I didn't.

 

[SweetErika]

Look, I'm not asking for advice on the things you're talking about... I have her best interest in mind.. I didn't ask about all this other crap you people are talking about because I know how to do that already....

I've planned my first time for sex out with her already... Like what I'm going to do for her that night with everything. Whether it's this summer or next summer or five years from now.

So please, I've gotten good opinions on the stuff I want to know about. If I asked how to handle my whole life with her, I would have asked, but I didn't.

Dude, chill out. Suthern gave you good advice, and you'd be very wise to take it. It's not about just getting through your first time, or even the first few - it's about developing the intimacy and comfort level necessary for her to do what are often very intimidating acts.

If you can't handle people giving you excellent, relevant advice, you're probably not ready for sex and all that can come with it...like parenthood.

 

[Eilan]

I didn't ask about all this other crap you people are talking about because I know how to do that already....

I remember when I was 19 years old and knew everything.

Good times.

 

[sutherngent985]

Look, I'm not asking for advice on the things you're talking about... I have her best interest in mind.. I didn't ask about all this other crap you people are talking about because I know how to do that already....

I've planned my first time for sex out with her already... Like what I'm going to do for her that night with everything. Whether it's this summer or next summer or five years from now.

So please, I've gotten good opinions on the stuff I want to know about. If I asked how to handle my whole life with her, I would have asked, but I didn't.

I didn't mean to come across so harsh. It just seemed to me reading your post, like some others here I think, that you were mainly thinking of what YOU were going to get out of, not her. If I misunderstood, let me apologize. I do, however, stand by what I said. Give her the attention and pleasure she needs and believe me, it will be returned many times over.

Erica thanks for your vote of confidence...it means alot coming from you.

 

[M's girl]

I remember when I was 19 years old and knew everything.

Good times.

That was what I was thinking And then Erika came in and put it into the right words....

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Do something she won't expect. Don't ask her, more intisipate her needs. Learn that skill and you have a good advantage when it comes to women. But as said above, if you give back and it is something she enjoys, you are likely to get something else. I did it with my first/only girlfriend and she was amazed, and actually called me a liar, saying I had sex before. You give a little, you get a little. She doesn't know what to say because she is an inexperienced women. For men, let's face it, it is easy. Basically all you asked for is what any normal young man would ask for. But a girl who isn't use to these ideas wouldn't know where to begin. So by giving a little, you open doors. Don't go crazy. Start with things small, and work up.

 

[SexyAxeSlinger]

All it takes is guts and confidence bro, women like that. Just go for it and flat out ask her, try to talk her into it but NOT in a "forceable" way. That's the best advice I can give you. That's why a lot of men who are womanizer's out there get all the women they want 'cause they are good at talking women into having sex with them. Good luck.