How representative is the Lit population?

[lil_jenni]

I think this is the best post you have ever written. Honest and forthright about yourself no holds barred. I salute you.

Thank you. Part of learning to live with how fucked up you are is learning how fucked up you are.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Thank you. Part of learning to live with how fucked up you are is learning how fucked up you are.

In a way though it may be the first step to NOT being fucked up. Like the road to knowledge starts with admitting how much you don't know. Anyway your post was fucking inspiring.

 

[financebro]

I have met women in all colors of the rainbow as far as age, race, politics, and kinks.

 

[LMWM321]

And another thing... a significant subset of the "all the girls on lit are dudes" crowd seem to be operating on a rather misogynistic level. Namely, that women don't like 'X', wherever X is the thing the guys likes that the women in his life may not like, and therefore women who say they like X are dudes unless proven otherwise with pics, preferably nudes.

Gee, I hope you're not including me in the significant subset. Yikes.

I have expressed skepticism about some members truly being women NOT because I think women are incapable of being as kinky or as highly sexual as men, but rather because some of their posts veer so sharply into misogyny. That's the root of my doubt.

The challenge with Literotica is that there are serious discussions about human sexuality that are taking place along side other conversations that are meant to sexually excite people. And it's the latter where it's understandable that a person may want to pretend to be someone they are not - eg., a guy pretending to be a woman. But when participating in a serious conversation about sex, it's much better if people are honest. ...For example: If there's a discussion about the horror of women being sexually harassed in the workplace, you wouldn't want a guy who's pretending to be a woman chiming in. Especially if he's expressing views like, "What's the big deal? I'm a woman and I LOVE being sexually harassed!" That's the sort of disingenuous poster I'm referring to.

 

[liqueur]

Do you think the sexual appetite and interests, and the proportions of people that express these interests, are representative of the population at large? Or... is there a natural self selection to this community that draws in certain sexual interests?

I don't think there can be an either/or answer to this.

• Many people, maybe even most, who are hypersexual or generally kinky in their appetites are considerably restricted in their opportunities to talk about their desires, appetites, and experiences with people of like mind. People like that will naturally gravitate to sites like these. So to that extent, it's self-selecting
• Oh the other hand, the anonymity gives Everyman and Everywoman the opportunity to talk about what they think about, or even do, all the time, but are unable to talk about in their Everyday world.

So your question sort of indirectly implies two groups: “Is lit composed mostly of group A or group B?” But if it were possible to draw a Venn diagram of those two groups, I think the result would be kind of close to a circle. Or a serpent eating it's tail. Or something.

 

[lil_jenni]

Many people, maybe even most, who are hypersexual or generally kinky in their appetites are considerably restricted in their opportunities to talk about their desires, appetites, and experiences with people of like mind.

Yes, exactly this.

 

[lil_jenni]

Gee, I hope you're not including me in the significant subset. Yikes.

Nope. You don't seem angry at or disdainful of women, nor do you seem to think non-standard sexuality does not exist for women. So, again, nope.

 

[lil_jenni]

some of their posts veer so sharply into misogyny. That's the root of my doubt.

Oh, I know some real life women who are misogynists, at least from my point of view. But I understand what you mean.

Like I've said, I try to give posters the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes...

For example, in another thread, a female poster was questioning the proliferation of young (22ish year old) women on Lit. She said she had been on Lit at 22, and that she had been crazy back then, and single, young woman would have to be crazy to be on Lit at that age. I did not reply, but my thought was that I was on Lit at 22 (albeit not single), and it was to keep me from being crazy... but it's close to the same.

But what we're seeing lately is a bunch of younger "women" who are seeking older men or traditional men or married men... you know where this is going.

Hell, one such poster would end provocative comments with "tee hee". What the fuck? Is that a giggle? I mean, I can giggle over sexual things, but not that stereotypically, and a stereotype from a bygone age at that. Again, what the fuck?

But maybe it's my own bias. I've never been interested in older men or play acting girlish or things like that. I have a great relationship with my father, so I have no need of a father figure, but maybe other people do, and maybe it should not set me on edge when a 22 year old bounces in and announces she wants to explore her previously frustrated sexuality with older men, tee hee. But it does. It is all kinds of red flags.

 

[Susscrofa]

Thank you. Part of learning to live with how fucked up you are is learning how fucked up you are.

I think that because most fucked up people don't want to admit to themselves that they are fucked up, they try to project the traits that make them uncomfortable onto other people. So if someone has a sexual fetish that makes him/her uncomfortable, they often find comfort in telling themselves that almost everyone else harbors the same fetish and fantasy and just won't admit it.

Most people are quite comfortable talking about their sex lives and fantasies in public places, go to any bar and eavesdrop, and you'll hear people talking about their sexual conquests, who they want to screw, complaining that their wives or girlfriends don't like a favorite sex act, etc. The reason such people don't talk about fetishes and fantasies like cuckoldry, cross-dressing, or incest is that A. they probably don't harbor those fantasies and B. for the small subset who do, they recognize that they're a minority and would probably be shunned, ridiculed, or worse by their social circle. That's still a more honest take than going around thinking at many/most other people secretly share your fantasy and won't admit it just to feel better about yourself.

In my case, I know I'm strange (including in ways that have absolutely nothing to do with sex), and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

[EvaLane]

For example, in another thread, a female poster was questioning the proliferation of young (22ish year old) women on Lit. She said she had been on Lit at 22, and that she had been crazy back then, and single, young woman would have to be crazy to be on Lit at that age. I did not reply, but my thought was that I was on Lit at 22 (albeit not single), and it was to keep me from being crazy... but it's close to the same.

Helloooooo

I completely understand what you mean about trying to block out the crazy by using this place as an escape. It’s probably what I’m doing now, being back here, as a pretty, non-single, slightly saner woman than I was a decade ago.

It’s also funny because I was bouncing around and tee-hee’ing and “degrade me, Daddy!!!!” all I wanted back then but it was a different world on the Internet, that script hadn’t been passed around at that point.

and now… you’re right. They just don’t get it, at the end of the day, the people who pretend. Even if she really IS 22 and really DOES look like that, she’s doing it for an Amazon gift card a cheque and not because she’s really into it

My culture is NOT your OF costume!!!

We need to raise awareness, #BRINGNEWSLUTSTOLIT or something idk

 

[LMWM321]

But maybe it's my own bias. I've never been interested in older men or play acting girlish or things like that. I have a great relationship with my father, so I have no need of a father figure, but maybe other people do, and maybe it should not set me on edge when a 22 year old bounces in and announces she wants to explore her previously frustrated sexuality with older men, tee hee. But it does. It is all kinds of red flags.

You raise another interesting subject - this idea that most young women are sexually interested in much older men. I truly believe this is another example of when the beliefs that bounce around the echo chamber of Literotica are not remotely representative of real life.

While I don't doubt there are younger women who are attracted to older men, I find it remarkable how so many older guys here on Lit are quick to mistake ANY sort of kindness from every younger woman as an indication of sexual interest. At least that is what I gather from the related threads.

I've seen this take place with my own friends. ..We go to a Starbucks and the attractive young woman behind the counter compliments my friends Minnesota Vikings Jersey, and the first thing he says as we sit down with our coffee is, "Did you hear that? I think she wants to fuck me." ..I laugh and say something like, "Um, no, she just likes your shirt, you idiot. . And because you're so damn old she didn't think you'd misconstrue her compliment. But apparently, you did." Sheesh.. the shit women have to deal with.

 

[liqueur]

find it remarkable how so many older guys here on Lit are quick to mistake ANY sort of kindness from every younger woman as an indication of sexual interest

Yes, this. I see it here; it's absolutely rampant on FetLife; and yes, I see it in real life as well.

 

[Noor]

Yes, this. I see it here; it's absolutely rampant on FetLife; and yes, I see it in real life as well.

You raise another interesting subject - this idea that most young women are sexually interested in much older men. I truly believe this is another example of when the beliefs that bounce around the echo chamber of Literotica are not remotely representative of real life.

While I don't doubt there are younger women who are attracted to older men, I find it remarkable how so many older guys here on Lit are quick to mistake ANY sort of kindness from every younger woman as an indication of sexual interest. At least that is what I gather from the related threads.

I've seen this take place with my own friends. ..We go to a Starbucks and the attractive young woman behind the counter compliments my friends Minnesota Vikings Jersey, and the first thing he says as we sit down with our coffee is, "Did you hear that? I think she wants to fuck me." ..I laugh and say something like, "Um, no, she just likes your shirt, you idiot. . And because you're so damn old she didn't think you'd misconstrue her compliment. But apparently, you did." Sheesh.. the shit women have to deal with.

Having lived all over the country, I find Minnesota men able to misconstrue anything as sexual interest, so much so that women don’t say much that that isn’t required to guys here and you’re correct, women are less careful with older guys.
There are some older men who are nice on Lit, and perhaps there are women who prefer those who are older merely for their age, but I doubt it’s very many.
A man being older here doesn’t mean he’s not a player, a jerk, pretending to be single, owner of numerous alts, trustworthy, or that he has any particular value in being older, unless a woman is looking for a daddy figure.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I never pretend to be anything other than what I am. An old grandfather devoted to his Filipina trans woman. Of course I only get spam messages but that's fine!

 

[lil_jenni]

To clarify, I have met older men I have found attractive. But those are exceptions for me, and it is likely despite their age, not because of it. And I think that at some point in their lives, many women probably have been attracted to an older man or two, but that age is probably not the determining factor in such attraction.

On The other hand, I have a friend (who is the same age as me) who dates almost exclusively older men, and has as long as I have known her. And although the age gap itself varies, her current preference seems to be for men at least ten years older than she is. So for her, the age is a big part of the attraction. But I do not believe such age based attraction is anywhere near as prevalent as one might think from posts on Lit.

The same is true of the Daddy Dom/baby girl dynamic. More power to those who find it fulfilling, but I think it is vastly overrepresented on Lit. And I think that vast over representation leads some wannabe Doms to think most, if not all, female subs want to have a Daddy Dom. Of course, faux Doms are one of the banes of this place, as they do not seem to be able to comprehend just because a woman identifies as a sub does not mean that woman will immediately, or ever, want to be their sub.