How many is too many?

[hanban24]

Looking for opinions from guys and girls.

Is there a body count that you think is too high? Have you ever been turned off by someone because they had slept with too many people?

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

No. And who someone is today is not always the same as who they were 10 years ago.

If someone is sleeping with 9 different people every week currently I would probably say I don't want to be number 10 for a variety of reasons (STD's, the fact that it can't possibly be a personal and connected experience, etc). I wouldn't be judging her as a person. I just wouldn't have any need to be a part of it.

But if someone used to sleep around a lot but currently wasn't doing that.... her past is her past. We all have one. We all change.

 

[Jacques_Corbin]

Yeah, agreed. In this day and age, a woman ought to enjoy her sexuality as freely, and responsibly, as any man. My wife was in her late 20s when we met. I had no illusions she was a virgin. She had been in MFM and MFF threeways, tried DP (didn't enjoy it), and enjoys sex with other women very much. It's just who she is. She didn't have any kids, and we both got tested before we got serious. Trojan was sad to lose our business, let me tell you...

Now, I fully support her having a girlfriend, and since she isn't into anal, she is fine with me making friends with a woman or 2 that enjoys it to relieve my cravings. Ideally, we could find 1 woman, whom we could both enjoy, that loves anal, but can respect the boundaries between our private and public lives.

That's a crucial part of love, understanding and accepting each other.

 

[cubbyfire04]

I understand why some have an issue with body counts... I personally do not. I'd also never hide my number from a partner. My number ended a relationship with a person I fell harder and faster for than anyone I've ever met. It was heartbreaking but she was entitled to her preference.

 

[curiouschattycouple]

It is said that multiply a woman's number by three, and divide a man's number by three, for the truth.

 

[BigButtSlut47]

Y

Looking for opinions from guys and girls.

Is there a body count that you think is too high? Have you ever been turned off by someone because they had slept with too many people?

You're kidding right? The more experienced the better in my opinion.

 

[Justfantasies]

Sex is physical activity. The more practice, the better. Why would you care about number?
Let's say whoever your favorite sport player in whatever sport you like. The player has played through ten games VS a hundred games.

My first wife had been with about 70 men before -- and I benefited from all that experience. It was a while before she told me how experienced she was though

 

[emperor0379]

My SO has been with over 50 men before me. The only thing that bothers me is it didn't make her more wild sexually.

 

[haventdonethat]

Looking for opinions from guys and girls.

Is there a body count that you think is too high? Have you ever been turned off by someone because they had slept with too many people?

Another male perspective here.
What is considered high by some may be considered only just broken in by others.
Personally, I don't really care how high the numbers are.

Not all women need experience to be great or even good at sex. First wife was only in the 15 or 16 range but comments from the guys when she was 25 or so were like “she was born to fuck”. Just naturally knew what to do.
Second wife had some numbers, about 50 to 60, and was also quite good. By her own admission it took a while to get that good though, mid 40’s. Had to ditch a couple husbands first LOL.

Some are naturals

 

[Retnuhkcoc2020]

Some people have a higher sex drive than others, who am i to judge them?

 

[YourPrincessKatie]

The only reason anyone has any sort of issue with this is their own insecurity. If you're clean, I don't care how many women you've been with when you're with me. I would normally expect the same courtesy. But way too many men want to be with the mythical "virgin whore". We had to learn to deepthroat and do anal from someone, fellas

 

[SarahsaurusRex]

As long as they're disease free, I don't care. Honestly, it's none of my business.

 

[Mystories189]

Not at all. More experienced men really onow how to work me. I keep my husband's friend around because he's a player. He really knows how to tease, pace, and in the end gives great orgasms. I do love having sex with less experienced guys too though. They are easier to control for me and they cum so much easier.

 

[savmitch1038]

I personally prefer women to have had many lovers...and I want to hear about everyone of them. I think experience equals a better time for me!

 

[SlutAddicted]

No.

The idea that body count on its own means something seems to me to be linked to a set of expectations that are designed to rein us in and compel us to conduct our sex lives in a way that society approves. The idea that a person's sexual experience implies a specific set of attitudes or attributes is wrong.

One person may have had sex with many people in a shallow way because they were seeking social acceptance while another just loved sex and availed themselves of the opportunities available to them. While we all see the qualitative difference in their experience we should also reflect on why does that matter. If one did it for the "wrong" reasons should that make them any less human? If a person spends 10 or 20 years in a career that doesn't suit them before finally figuring out what they want in life, should we shit on them for not getting it right the first time?

Does having sexual experience make one less virtuous? If you think so please take a time machine back to the 18th century and stop bothering us. In the real world there are virgins who are bitches that would make terrible life partners and whores who are warm wonderful companions.

A very large proportion of people would have had more and more diverse sexual experiences if the opportunity had been available. If you are a man there is a 99% chance that your wife or girlfriend has had more sexual opportunities than you have had and if your had her opportunities you body count would be much higher than hers or yours is right now. By expecting her to be any given level of "pure" you are expecting her to achieve a standard you could not achieve in her shoes.

The only relevant factor is why. Does your partner's body count indicate a pattern of behaviour that you should worry about? If he/she regularly cheated on their committed partner the issues isn't body count, it is betrayal and dishonesty. If he/she was clear to not make commitments they wouldn't keep then there is an intrinsic honesty to them and you just need to seek clarity to know where you stand. If he/she has made mistakes in this regard but has consistently owned up to them then they are humans trying to do the right thing which is the best most can hope for.

 

[coati]

It's not just a matter of how much experience a lover has, but it's also a reflection of their libido. My main lover has lots of experience, and the best part of this is that she has worked for a long time to satisfy her strong libido. She's always ready. I don't think she's ever turned me down. We don't talk about our past lovers, but I know she had many, and I know she had many because she has a sex drive. Our many prior sexual experiences are not trophies-- they're a reflection of the fact that we have been highly sexual beings for a long time.

 

[EStaccato]

70.

(heh heh)

 

[Wonderer67]

I knew my wife had a full sexual past. I knew she had three longer, involved relationships: two boyfriends for 6-7 years and her late husband (20 years).

She is super monogamous- when she’s with someone, she’s with someone.

We were having a fire the other night and I asked her. Just curious, we’ve been together for 15 years almost. I said I’d been with 10/11 women and she was really embarrassed.

She was trying to think bout it. She wasn’t sure and trying to think back. She told me many sexy stories about when she was in the medical field.

I asked her approximately how many and she could not answer it. Topic changed, I didn’t want to embarrass her or make her feel badly about it. Be interesting to know. (Thinking its several dozen…)

I think it’s awesome that she had a chance to really be sexually feee.

 

[littlecordelera]

Is there a body count that you think is too high? Have you ever been turned off by someone because they had slept with too many people?

I think there comes a point where the number suggests someone who is driven by an unhealthy compulsion. This could indicate a person with a personality disorder or some other abnormal state of mental health, especially if that person chooses partners based off of availability rather than compatibility.

And I know there are those in these forums who might point the finger at me, but I have been honest in other threads in stating that I sometimes wonder if my own sex drive is "too much." On the other hand, I have never chosen a partner just because they were available. Whoever it might be, I have to feel like they are an honestly good person.

Could I have a personality disorder?

I sometimes wonder.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

Yeah, agreed. In this day and age, a woman ought to enjoy her sexuality as freely, and responsibly, as any man. My wife was in her late 20s when we met. I had no illusions she was a virgin. She had been in MFM and MFF threeways, tried DP (didn't enjoy it), and enjoys sex with other women very much. It's just who she is. She didn't have any kids, and we both got tested before we got serious. Trojan was sad to lose our business, let me tell you...

Now, I fully support her having a girlfriend, and since she isn't into anal, she is fine with me making friends with a woman or 2 that enjoys it to relieve my cravings. Ideally, we could find 1 woman, whom we could both enjoy, that loves anal, but can respect the boundaries between our private and public lives.

That's a crucial part of love, understanding and accepting each other.

I love this. My ex could no longer perform in bed, but was a great husband (I thought at the time). We enjoyed travel together and many things.
I proposed an open relationship which he batted down immediately. Asking why he wasn't good enough. I tried to explain it wasn't about good or bad. But his limitation was not enough for me

 

[GECuck]

Looking for opinions from guys and girls.

Is there a body count that you think is too high? Have you ever been turned off by someone because they had slept with too many people?

No such thing as too high. The more the merrier, it just shows how sexy they are

 

[screwher]

When I first started dating my wife, I admit I was one of those guys that was happy she had only one guy before. And if it were to have come out she actually had a number of sex partners, I probably just would have fucked her a few more times then shown her the door.

But now over the years, I’ve changed, my wife has changed and our marriage has evolved. Throughout our relationship, six other men have fucked her. Both during cheating early on and our hotwife lifestyle. And I wish we developed our lifestyle much earlier. All those years other men could have been having sex with her! So for me it’s not a matter of too many, but it’s too little.

 

[Dreamer110]

And here I am thinking my wife was promiscuous before I met her. Especially considering her age when we met. And now, so disappointed.

 

[policywank]

I think there comes a point where the number suggests someone who is driven by an unhealthy compulsion. This could indicate a person with a personality disorder or some other abnormal state of mental health, especially if that person chooses partners based off of availability rather than compatibility.

And I know there are those in these forums who might point the finger at me, but I have been honest in other threads in stating that I sometimes wonder if my own sex drive is "too much." On the other hand, I have never chosen a partner just because they were available. Whoever it might be, I have to feel like they are an honestly good person.

Could I have a personality disorder?

I sometimes wonder.

I suppose a high number may induce one to reflect on why a person has had sex with so many people. But I don't think the number itself means much of anything in terms of the person's mental health. I think that is more rooted in their specific motivation and reasoning. Even then I think that a person's motivation needs to be seen in the context of their attitudes about sex.

For instance if a woman has a generally conservative attitude towards sex and connects it very closely with love yet continually engages in sex with men she doesn't know very well or the ones that give her attention that suggests a level of insecurity, desperation or need for acceptance that may be unhealthy. Meanwhile another woman may have a much more liberal view of sex and enjoys embracing experiences with men with whom she has a personal connection without any expectations beyond having a good time. To a casual observer the behaviour of both women may appear very similar but the underlying factors are much different and it really isn't about the body count.

I take your point regarding availability versus compatibility. I wouldn't fuck a guy just because he is available. But as someone who is very sexually liberal if I find a guy appealing I suppose my threshold for assessing our compatibility might be lower than it would be if I was more sexually conservative. But I feel as though that is because I don't perceive negative consequences from having sex with someone who turns out to not be very compatible.

This may sound trite (which I suppose speaks to my mental health, lol) but I see it a little bit like the way I see food. If a restaurant doesn't appeal to me or I know it to not be very good I am not going to eat there. But if it does appeal to me I don't need to an hour of research to decide if I will eat there. I'll just give it a go. If it sucks I won't go back. But I don't see that as any big loss.

 

[wifewatcher1997]

I could care less about the numbers as long as we are connecting. Likewise, I don't care if she wants more while we are together...I just want to be connecting. When the wife played, we were as close as ever. Now that she doesn't, we are still in a great place. It is a personal thing for everyone, but to me, it doesn't matter.