How long into a relationship..

[Undomiel]

....should you do certain things? I know it varies for everyone but I'm just curious about other people. Like say you love someone, have sex, move in with them. I'm going out with my boyfriend nearly 6 months and have no desire to have sex anytime soon, though we have fooled around. And I'd like to move in with him sometime.

 

[SweetErika]

I think it completely depends on the individuals and progression of the relationship... what was right for us may be completely wrong for you. In general, I feel it's a good idea to live together before making more of a commitment, but doing so too soon or for the wrong reasons can be problematic. I would be very hesitant to live with someone I didn't feel comfortable having sex with, but that's me.

Our timeline looked like this:
Sex- several months of friendship and dating

Living together- about 2.5 years of dating seriously, one of which we spent apart, so we were positive we wanted to stay together

Engaged- about a year after living together, and 6 months of being together 24/7

Married- 4.5 years after we started dating. Neither of us had any fears or doubts because we had taken it slowly and spent so much time together.

 

[Eilan]

SweetErika's right--it's definitely one of those "your mileage may vary" situations.

We had known each other since we were kids, but my ex and I took things more slowly when we started dating because we were young and inexperienced. We were together for a year before we had sex, and roughly nine months after that, we were married.

When I met my husband, though, things seemed to progress faster. We had sex within a couple of months, were engaged a couple of months after that, and married about six months later. Perhaps we were older and knew what we wanted? I don't know. It's been three years now, and I'm not complaining about the way things have turned out!

Have fun and don't concern yourself with timelines. If what you're doing FEELS right to you, then it probably IS right.

 

[Undomiel]

Oh I'm not concerned about it, just curious. Thats the reason I joined this place, cause I'm totally inexperiencd and curious about a lot of things. I've been in a two relationships before but this one feels so right. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, which is a weird thing to say at my age I guess.

 

[phoenix1224]

For having sex? As soon as she'll let me... ...But, personally, I don't think that I would wait much longer than a month... Hell, why should I be in a relationship if I still have to masturbate as if I was still single?

For moving in together? At least a year.

For getting engaged? At least six months after moving in together.

For getting married? At least six months aftrer getting engaged.

But then, it all depends on the person I'm with and the bond that I have with that person... *shrugs*

 

[Volz]

My timeline with my husband....

First, let me say that we were together from the moment we met. We were not friends first, it was definetely love at first sight.



2 weeks: Sex
3 months: Move in together
4 years: Engaged
5 years: Married


We've now been together for almost 6 years and married for almost 2.

 

[SueJ]

We had sex within a few weeks, lived together within six months, and got engaged and married, all within the first year of meeting each other. We have now been together for 21 wonderful years. We'd both been through many previous relationships and just knew from day one that it was "right".

Sue

 

[Lynxie]

Our timeline's a little more skewed than most people's:

Sex - 1.5 years into dating
Engagement - 7 years into dating
Moving in together - 1 month after getting engaged
Marriage - 2.5 years after engagement

 

[Munachi]

For having sex? As soon as she'll let me... ...But, personally, I don't think that I would wait much longer than a month... Hell, why should I be in a relationship if I still have to masturbate as if I was still single?

actually i don't quite get it either. i could never wait longer than a few weeks. but everyone is different i guess.

for me, i can't speak of a current relationship as i am single now, but of the past ones, the longest wait was a month, in my first relationship, and the shortest was no waiting at all, since i would see the sex as the start of the relationship (though i had known him for a few weeks before that, and there had been some serious flirting).

moved in with one person once, after knowing him for about half a year but it was limited in time from the beginning, as he lived in a different town and i just moved to his place for three months over summer, then i had to go back to university. never been engaged or married, but i think for either one i would wait quite a while. though it would depend on how i feel about the person of course, and also the situation i am in. right now i am in no hurry to get married anyway ...