How Insulting!!

[Guest]

The aliens forgot to remove your anal probe, didn't they?

 

[rgraham666]

What goes on between your ears can only be considered thought out of courtesy.

 

[Guest]

Do you have trouble with sticking to chairs?

 

[Guest]

Belgian.

 

[AppleBiter]

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

If a smart thought ever enters your head, your body will die from the shock.

 

[SeaCat]

If my dog had a face like yours I would shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards.

I've heard better singing from the dogs howling at the moon.

(One I heard a one Doc. use on another in the hospital I work at.)
You have obviously suffered from a Cranial Rectal Inversion, too bad it's not curable.

(One I read a long time ago. About why two older ladies stopped going to a church when a young priest took over.)
He's too young to have sinned enough to repent enough to preach about it.

I would borrow your earings and use them as fishing lures, but I don't want to scare the fish.

Someone from the E.P.A. is here to talk with you about your bathing habits.

Cat

 

[Guest]

Do you know why (insert band name here) sang this song? So you wouldn't have to.

 

[CharleyH]

Do you know why (insert band name here) sang this song? So you wouldn't have to.

You are such a pussy!



OK CUNT!

And as John Stewart said last night? LOL I DARE NOT SAY.

 

[Guest]

You are such a pussy!



OK CUNT!

And as John Stewart said last night? LOL I DARE NOT SAY.

Echo! Echo! Echo!

 

[SeaCat]

I can see your family tree doesn't fork.

Hmmmm, I take it your Gene Pool doesn't have a deep end.

Did anyone ever tell your brother he's an only child?

The best parts of you dribbled down your mothers leg when your father pulled out.

You make the people on the Jerry Springer show seem smart.

Cat

 

[AppleBiter]

You fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

*Okay, that one's an oldie, but a goodie

 

[TheEarl]

You fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

*Okay, that one's an oldie, but a goodie

One which I've heard ad-libbed by a rugby fan to describe Neil Jenkins. That might get a snigger from Scheherazade; everyone else can google for Neil Jenkins + rugby.

"It looks like he set his face on fire when he was a kid and his dad put it out with a shovel."

The Earl

 

[Weird Harold]

One which I've heard ad-libbed by a rugby fan to describe Neil Jenkins. That might get a snigger from Scheherazade; everyone else can google for Neil Jenkins + rugby.

"It looks like he set his face on fire when he was a kid and his dad put it out with a shovel."

The Earl

The late Henny Youngman was a master at this kind of insult -- even better than Don Rickles.

One of my favorite Henny Youngman lines: "You've got the kind of face that brightens a room -- when you leave."

 

[minsue]

One of my favorite songs, sung so prettily and sweetly....

Everybody loves you babe
~ Billy Bragg

Everybody likes you babe but me
I guess that proves how stupid I can be
Your father thinks it's swell, your mum hears wedding bells
Our friends all say we make a lovely couple we get on so well

People say that we're a perfect match
They don't realise that there's a catch
They don't have to live with you, forgive you for the things you do
There's just no ignoring, you're pretty but you're boring

Everybody likes you babe, but me
They just don't know how iffy you can be
I'd hate for you to go..... before I let you know
That everybody loves you babe, but me

I'm begging you to stay..... out of my way
Cos everybody likes you babe, but me
Everybody likes you babe, but me

 

[Guest]

Phat!

 

[elsol]

Best from a female...

-- Can you even spell the word fuck?

-- Don't worry, I've seen smaller... but can I take a picture?

Sincerely,

ElSol

 

[ChickyBaby]

One of my favorites...


"Since You've Been Gone" --Weird Al

Since you've been gone
Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil
Since you've been gone
It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil
Oh well, I'm feelin like I stuck my hand
Inside a blender and turned it on
You know, I've been in a buttload of pain
Since you've been gone

(Since you've been gone)
I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped
A two-ton bowling ball on my toes
(Since you've been gone)
It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved
A red-hot cactus up my nose

Since you've been gone
Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day
Since you've been gone
It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away
Ever since that day you left me
I've been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here

 

[Guest]

Belgian.

HA!

 

[cloudy]

I bet your mama told you you were special, didn't she?

not you, Lou - we already know how "special" the twisted sisters are

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

You hippopatamic landmass!

You have all the faults of your ancestors and lack their one redeeming quality, their previous demise.

 

[Ibsen]

One we use here: Your mama smells curry. :lol:

Other then that... Hm... A quote from the movie Ful Metal Jacket: "Your ass looks like 150 pounds of chewed bubblegum!"

 

[Ibsen]

Maybe not an insult, but here it comes anyway: May the flies of a thousand camels haunt your armpits.

Old arabic curse/equivalent.

 

[SeaCat]

Over heard from my neighbors apartment. (I had to go back inside I was laughing so hard so I don't know if there were any other insults.)

Are you sure it's in?

Cat

 

[Ibsen]

Over heard from my neighbors apartment. (I had to go back inside I was laughing so hard so I don't know if there were any other insults.)

Are you sure it's in?

Cat

Must have been hard not laughting so they heard!