How good do you look?

[BlackShanglan]

Actually, I've just realized that I have the perfect counter-argument to the looks/employability theory.

I'm employed.

 

[DrFreud]

Actually, I've just realized that I have the perfect counter-argument to the looks/employability theory.

I'm employed.

Do you think the results from the study can be extrapolated to the equine race?

What do you think of LJ's poem?

DrF

 

[Dar~]

Actually, I've just realized that I have the perfect counter-argument to the looks/employability theory.

I'm employed.

That and you're dead sexy. (not to be confuse with sexy when dead . . .)
hows things Shanglan?

 

[BlackShanglan]

That and you're dead sexy. (not to be confuse with sexy when dead . . .)
hows things Shanglan?

Not too bad, Dnd, but I'm about to head to the stable. Long day! All the best to you -

Shanglan

 

[LadyJeanne]

Actually, I've just realized that I have the perfect counter-argument to the looks/employability theory.

I'm employed.

And I...am not.

 

[rgraham666]

I keep being told I'm good looking.

And I refuse to believe it. Mostly because I was trained that my opinion wasn't worth the few brain cells it took to formulate that thought. And partly because I've encountered too many people with good looks, tons of confidence and the morals of an KGB agent. I'm afraid I might become that way. And I'm often severely tempted to do so as these people often become 'successful'.

My biggest problem though is my distinct lack of 'people skills'. Which in the modern workplace translates to my skill as a courtier.

I'm a direct, rather blunt person who doesn't suck up so good. I'm always more worried about whether I'm doing the good thing rather than the 'proper' thing. And I can't keep my mouth shut. If I think something is a bad idea I say so.

So, I'm unemployed and shall be for the rest of my days.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Hmmm. I think it's all in how it's said. I managed to keep a position where I quite frequently had to re-direct my boss's energies and focus - she was a crisis-driven person who didn't always take the time to apply critical thought before reacting. I found that asking questions rather than making statements was a good way to achieving my goals without upsetting her personally. If she suggested, for example, revising the scheduling of hours in our department in such a way as to upset everyone and achieve a relatively minor goal, I'd acknowledge the value of the minor goal and use questions to introduce the problems - "Oh, that would be great to be able to open fifteen minutes earlier. Oh, wait though - would we run into overtime? I can check with the floor managers. Would you like me to stop by the back-house director and see how that would mesh with her staff, too?" By raising the problems with offers of help and legwork, I could usually get her to see the potential difficulties while understanding that I wasn't ignoring the potential gains or subverting her position. Oh yes - and naturally one never makes these comments in large group situations, whether subordinate or superior. No one likes being dressed down in front of a crowd.

Courtier? Hmmm. I don't know. Honestly, she was a nice person with a good heart - just a trifle flighty. I didn't feel that it was beneath me to try to make her happy while getting our work done. She was a good soul, and it was no real difficulty to me to try to avoid hurting her feelings.

Shanglan

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[Honey123]

We all have qualities that make us beautiful ~ sometimes you have to look skin deep in order to know it.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Poussin, I don't dispute the findings in the study. I know they're spot on. As Joe said, and as you have said, it would be foolish to ignore the reality and the impact that appearance has. We can't help but see what's on the surface first; the reactions are instant. Those of us who are aware of the reactions our appearance provokes in others, good, bad, or indifferent, can't really be faulted for leveraging those reactions to our benefit if we can, and we quickly learn to do so - it's a coping mechanism. Is that manipulation? Maybe. We are judged anyway.

There's a lot more to all of us than what meets the eye. In my idealist view of how things should be, I'd wish those judgments weren't so automatic. In my practical view of how things are, I know those judgments can both help and hinder, so I do what I can to present myself as I wish to be seen.

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[DrFreud]

Give me 5 minutes to talk away my face and I'll bed the queen of France. ~ Voltaire

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[LadyJeanne]

Give me 5 minutes to talk away my face and I'll bed the queen of France. ~ Voltaire

Now you're talking about sex and sexy, which is not a function of good looks. Thank god.

 

[DrFreud]

Btw, Poussin i'll stop bugging you about putting up an AV if you want people to consider for who you are and not your looks.

Anyway, if you're worried about killing threads, just post to the Last person thread.

a+

 

[DrFreud]

Now you're talking about sex and sexy, which is not a function of good looks. Thank god.

True. But i feel it also applies to the workplace.
I don't have much to add to the discussion anymore but it's all about establishing rapport. In my opinion, good looks make that easier because people are normally attracted to beautiful people.

DrF

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[rgraham666]

Sorry, but if I leave my idealism at home, I'm also leaving my ethics there as well.

I'm not even going to try to go back to the working world again. The last time literally drove me insane. It wasn't a lot of fun. Years of little I can remember either due to drugs to treat my illness or the illness itself. Suicide attempts and aching loneliness.

Little in the world makes sense to me and the working world least of all. In spite of all the stuff we spout about diversity and acceptance, for the most part our lives and livelihoods are structured to exclude all but the most 'normal'.

I'm not normal and can't even pretend to be. So I'll be unemployed for the rest of my life.

Which is what this thread is really all about, not beauty, but normalcy. Beautiful people are regarded as the 'norm' to which we should all aspire. Blessed Be The Norm.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I'm telling ya, Rob - you should consider moving to San Franicsco. Everyone is normal here, because no one is. Everyone is accepted in the land of misfit toys.

Poussin, no need to apologize for tangents - usually that starts happening on the first page.

 

[rgraham666]

I don't have the money to travel there LadyJeanne.

I doubt I would get the support there I have here. I'm living on a disability pension here and I don't think such a thing is available for non-citizens of the States.

And whether I would be allowed across the border is problematical in these times. My political affiliations, by U.S. standards just a couple of steps removed from pure Marxism, probably have me on a watch list of some description.

Plus Canada is my home.

Anyway, if I emigrate, it will probably be to Europe. I'm afraid I'm not hopeful for the future of North America.

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[sweetnpetite]

You know this is sort of funny because I'm just begining to realize that beauty can be quite the handicap. You know the old "don't hate me because I'm beautiful?" line? Well there is a reason for it.

I have a friend who gets in trouble at work for dressing the same or more conservitively than others in the same office. She's a beautiful woman. She doesn't even seem to realize how beautiful she is, but man does she end up taking a lot of shit for it.

Yeah, I know, like anyone cares about the problems of beautiful people- but trust me- the knife cuts both ways. I've experienced it too. And you don't recognize it at first, because it doesn't even dawn on you. Especially since, you know, we're so freakin insecure about our looks that the last thing that we think is that people will treat us badly because we're too goodlooking!

Not to rant, but the beautiful get discriminated against too. And I could probably prove it with a study if I set one up to find out such a thing. Now I know what to do my thesis on some day