How "friendly" are you?

[privyjo]

New to lit and I am also doing a bit of traveling about the US visiting different places. Something that has been going through my mind is friendliness. Thought I would ask the question, based on the following definition, how friendly are you? Have popped in and out of the HT Cafe and thought you guys might be open to answering this question.

Friendly - Of or befitting a friend. 2) Favorably disposed; not antagnostic. 3) Warm; comforting. 4) User-friendly.

Like to think I am friendly but maybe not.

 

[Mazuri]

2) Favorably disposed; not antagnostic.

I'd say of the options there, I'm more #2. I'm not the type to approach someone I don't know and talk to them, but I'll chat if spoken to. I'm much more outgoing once I get to know a person, but it takes a while for that to happen. Don't like crowds (malls, bars, ball games, large parties...anywhere there are large numbers of folks) and do best in small groups (10 folks and under). Some say I appear aloof until they know me and then some still say that So...not antagonistic, but not the life of the party either

 

[privyjo]

I'd say of the options there, I'm more #2. I'm not the type to approach someone I don't know and talk to them, but I'll chat if spoken to. I'm much more outgoing once I get to know a person, but it takes a while for that to happen. Don't like crowds (malls, bars, ball games, large parties...anywhere there are large numbers of folks) and do best in small groups (10 folks and under). Some say I appear aloof until they know me and then some still say that So...not antagonistic, but not the life of the party either

Wow. Me too.

 

[EJFan]

i like to think i'm pretty friendly but the first impression i give most people is less than favorable. if you asked all of my closest friends, the vast majority of them will tell you that they couldn't stand me when we first met. it seems that once people figure me out (and i haven't really put my finger on what this means yet) we're pretty much set for life.

over the years, i've lost some friends through the course of moving, marriage and that sort of thing but only a handful... most of those from when i was in HS.

my preference is to have a few really close friends and however many casual acquaintances. i don't like having a shitload of people all up in my business. there might be three or four people (if that many) with whom i share the major details of my life, and they share their's with me.

my suspicion is that people tend to be friendlier with those who briefly cross paths with them. for example, i'll often be friendlier with the cashier at the grocery store than i will be with a co-worker. i think it's easier to be friendly for a brief encounter than it is for a protracted period... and i think that brief friendliness tends to be more superficial.

 

[Eilan]

my preference is to have a few really close friends and however many casual acquaintances.

I'd say of the options there, I'm more #2. I'm not the type to approach someone I don't know and talk to them, but I'll chat if spoken to. I'm much more outgoing once I get to know a person, but it takes a while for that to happen. Don't like crowds (malls, bars, ball games, large parties...anywhere there are large numbers of folks) and do best in small groups (10 folks and under). Some say I appear aloof until they know me and then some still say that So...not antagonistic, but not the life of the party either

What they said.

I used to be very, very shy, and while there are still certain types of contact that I avoid when possible, I'm much better than I used to be. I'm friendly and courteous to people I don't know, unless they've given me reason to be otherwise. That also applies to fellow Litsters.

 

[Guest]

 

[privyjo]

I am appreciationg the responses. Trying to let this thread go as it will but I don't feel so out of the norm after reading the posts made thus far. I have maybe two close friends that know everything about my life from childhood to now and while I may seem to share a lot in some posts on lit there is so much more I don't share. Move around more than most people living in different places and so have a lot of casual acquaintenances and can converse on some superficial level but find "chit chat" an art beyond my capabilities.

 

[Eilan]

I don't know if it's a geographical thing, but there are a lot of friendly people where I live. Sometimes my husband and I will go for a ride in the car and people will just wave at us. It's never anyone we know, either.

 

[bobsgirl]

When I was in high school, there was a girl who told me a lot of people thought I was stuck up. I felt really bad about that because what they perceived as "stuck up" was really shyness. I'm still very uncomfortable in large groups of people, for example wedding receptions. I even hated my own.

Anyway, I think I'm friendly, but I have to know you for a while before you'll see the "real" me.

 

[Mazuri]

...can converse on some superficial level but find "chit chat" an art beyond my capabilities.

My stars, isn't that the truth! I know the general chit chat topics (weather, kids, job, etc). But...I live in Alabama. The weather is HOT! I don't work. So that leaves me talking about my daughter...this can sometimes go well, sometimes not. And then what? I don't talk politics (folks just seem to get upset and argue and I'm a very non-confrontational type) and despise sports. So ...*shrugs* My husband is my polar opposite. He'll talk to folks who don't want to talk to him! So I generally stay with him, let him do the talking, pipe in on the rare occasion, but otherwise remain silent.

But I'm working on that.

 

[Verbiwhore]

Like to think I am friendly but maybe not.

I can say you are very warm and friendly personage, I am pleased to have made your acquaintance.
*scuffs privyjo's hair and runs away giggling*

 

[Straight-8]

I guess I'm not all that friendly because I read this thread when it was first posted and couldn't be bothered to respond. I think it takes a bit before my 'friendly' side comes out. I am generally courteous however on first meeting and thereafter - unless, of course, you piss me off!

I'm really crappy with 'small talk'.

 

[EJFan]

In person, I'll strike up a conversation with anyone willing to talk, and I'm not afraid to start it. But I like to ask people questions (i'm kind of curious about people)...

one of my very close friends is EXACTLY like this. he loves to hear about other people's experiences, opinions, etc. he's genuinely interested in anything anyone cares to talk about.

 

[bobsgirl]

one of my very close friends is EXACTLY like this. he loves to hear about other people's experiences, opinions, etc. he's genuinely interested in anything anyone cares to talk about.

I would always rather talk about the other person. A while back, the person at the grocery checkout told me all about her recent divorce and how awful her ex is. All I did was say hi, how are you. It was kind of an odd experience, but sometimes it's easier to tell really personal stuff to a stranger than to a close friend.

 

[Guest]

 

[EJFan]

I would always rather talk about the other person. A while back, the person at the grocery checkout told me all about her recent divorce and how awful her ex is. All I did was say hi, how are you. It was kind of an odd experience, but sometimes it's easier to tell really personal stuff to a stranger than to a close friend.

don't people like that just weird you out? i know it always sets me on edge. lol.

 

[Cathleen]

Scaly and I share a gene I think. I'm pretty darn friendly. My sister and I were grocery shopping for the first Thanksgiving after our mom died and by the time we hit the paper aisle she gave me the keys and told me to get out and to take her toddler daughter with me. When she came out we were in the parking lot talking to neighbors.

I'm friendly in a friendly way. And no BG we don't need examples!

 

[bobsgirl]

Scaly and I share a gene I think. I'm pretty darn friendly. My sister and I were grocery shopping for the first Thanksgiving after our mom died and by the time we hit the paper aisle she gave me the keys and told me to get out and to take her toddler daughter with me. When she came out we were in the parking lot talking to neighbors.

I'm friendly in a friendly way. And no BG we don't need examples!

I used to have a girl friend in high school who was "friendly in a friendly way". Actually, she was "friendly in an "oh, sorry, didn't mean to steal your boyfriend" way... Her friendliness used to embarrass me all the time.

You are friendly in a generous, compassionate way.

 

[privyjo]

if you asked all of my closest friends, the vast majority of them will tell you that they couldn't stand me when we first met.

Visiting close friend who said this exact thing to me - we have been friends for over 20 years now!

I can say you are very warm and friendly personage, I am pleased to have made your acquaintance.
*scuffs privyjo's hair and runs away giggling*

I guess I'm not all that friendly because I read this thread when it was first posted and couldn't be bothered to respond. I think it takes a bit before my 'friendly' side comes out. I am generally courteous however on first meeting and thereafter - unless, of course, you piss me off!

I'm really crappy with 'small talk'.

No! No! You are friendly! You did not thrash me for posting the thread!

I find asking questions helps me to find some common interest

Sometimes I have a very difficult time asking questions - feel like I am invading the other person's privacy and space. I'll ask and then apologize for asking!!

To Everyone - thanks for your posts!

 

[Straight-8]

A while back, the person at the grocery checkout told me all about her recent divorce and how awful her ex is. All I did was say hi, how are you. It was kind of an odd experience, but sometimes it's easier to tell really personal stuff to a stranger than to a close friend.

This really rings a bell! This never happens in Canada or any other country I visit but, on almost every trip to the US exactly this sort of thing occurs. I have always assumed it is an american thing. I'm actually surprised that it came up for comment because it seems so common in the US.