How drunk have you ever been??

[matriarch]

Man..........this is drunk!!

Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR
By Daniel Brownstein
Published Wednesday, June 27, 2007


A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to a sheriff's report.

The 39-year-old called deputies to the parking lot of Hilton Head Cabanas, 32 South Forest Beach Drive, at 1:49 a.m., saying he had just tried to perform CPR on a dead woman, according to the sheriff's report.

They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw.

When asked where the woman was, he pointed to the straw, the report stated.

The man told deputies five people knocked on his door and wanted to party. A woman asked him to come outside, and told him there was a dead woman laying in the parking lot, the report stated.

Deputies think the man had been drinking. (You think??!!) The report says he thought Tuesday was Halloween and he had two empty bottles of bourbon inside his home.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I was so drunk one time that I fell going up the stairs and fractured my elbow.

 

[Liar]

When asked where the woman was, he pointed to the straw, the report stated.

Meh, he wasn't all that drunk if he could point at things.

 

[neonlyte]

Drunk enough to piss in someone elses briefcase
In mitigation... he had dropped mine in the river.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

I handle alcohol well. And when I'm drunk, I go quiet and even more reflective than usually.

But when I've had a few, and I'm far from drunk . . . Let's just say . . .

 

[impressive]

Well, I slept a portion of the night ... erm ... morning on my bathroom floor.

 

[starrkers]

Ummm, I can't remember.

 

[impressive]

The "worst" period of drunken revelry in my life was the month after finishing high school. There were graduation parties almost every night -- with much beer. (Drinking age was still 18.)

I recall sitting sideways in the backseat of this guy's car -- door open -- as he stood outside it & let me puke on his shoes.

 

[feeeriek]

very

 

[rgraham666]

Been a while, but very.

Last time all I remember about that night after about two was my drinking companions and I deciding we were French. Don't ask.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I can't really remember most of the 1990's.

 

[NoJo]

I think that being drunk is no excuse for raping a bale of straw. I hope they threw the book at him.

 

[carsonshepherd]

The last time I was that drunk, I fell down the stairs, and then had sex for three hours. I hear it was good.

 

[NoJo]

The last time I was that drunk, I fell down the stairs, and then had sex for three hours. I hear it was good.

I assume you're referring to the sex part

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Only once did I ever get literally falling down drunk, and I don't even like to think about it. Ugh.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I've never been drunk...

I think that being drunk is no excuse for raping a bale of straw. I hope they threw the book at him.

Which book? Make it "It" by Stphen King. That's a big thick book

 

[Liar]

I can't really remember most of the 1990's.

You wino. I can remember almost half of it.

 

[popcorn2721]

Ive been so drunk that I had to be carried out of the woods, fallen down a flight of stairs... had to be in traffic court the next morning, nearly fell down in front of the judge then. He didn't ask, I didn't tell but the look on his face... Im lucky I didn't get nailed for public intoxication. On the way out I fell down the steps of the second story of the court house.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I've never actually been drunk.

 

[impressive]

I was still morning-after drunk when I took the Mensa admission IQ test. I often wonder how I'd've scored sober. Probably nowhere near as well.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I assume you're referring to the sex part

Yeah, I hear the falling down part was bad and I had bruises to prove it.

 

[gauchecritic]

I've been told that you've never been really drunk until you've shit yourself.

Fortunately I've never been drunk.

I think it's just a lie put about by people that shit themselves when drunk.

 

[Dar~]

The worst it's been is the night my ex GF hooked up with her most recent ex. I drank an entire bottle of vodka and woke up the next morning bruised and in my pajamas. She says that I was horribly self-deprecating and that she never has seen anyone that down on themself and that she never wants to see it again. I don't remember.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So drunk I couldn't see more than five feet in front of the car...

 

[OhMissScarlett]

You wino. I can remember almost half of it.

Oh yes, but you're younger than I am.