How Drunk Am I? (Part II)

[Dillinger]

Yes, Dillinger is drinking tonight. Scotch, and lots of it...

So the question is... how drunk am I?

Pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and lets talk. Ask me anything you'd like... quiz me on zen (or don't quiz me on zen - the results will be the same), lets talk philosophy or single malts or sex or whatever and let's see if you can figure out just how drunk I am...

Or - just come in and stare as you realize that the only thing I'm wearing is a lampshade... on my COCK... (and it fits very nicely, thank you)...

Keep in mind that the longer I stay on line - which is dependent on whether you can keep my interest - the more I will drink AND the drunker I will get...

 

[Dillinger]

http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/images/division.gif

 

[juicylips]

So if you get too drunk I can take advantage of you??

Cassidy

 

[Dillinger]

Now that doesn't require my getting drunk, does it? Ask me a hard one...

 

[Mischka]

What's the difference between Irish Whiskey and Scotch Whiskey? Which one can have a smoky undertone (or can both?)? Which do you prefer?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Who cares? I just want to fuck.

 

[Dillinger]

What's the difference between Irish Whiskey and Scotch Whiskey? Which one can have a smoky undertone (or can both?)? Which do you prefer?

Irish Whiskey is often referred to as
UISCE BEATHA (ish-ka bah-ah) which
means "water of life". The word WHISKEY is derived from this gaelic term.

I am, not drinking Whiskey - I am drinking Scotch... single malt, McCallen's 12 year old - I prefer 15yo but 12 is all I've got...

And that was too well said, I'm not drunk enough - brb as I get a refill...

BTW - if you like smokey LaFroig has a peat distillation process that produces the smokiest scotch in the universe - I happen to really like it but its an acquired (and expensive) taste - its been describes as similar to drinking liquid smoke with a kick.

 

[Dillinger]

Who cares? I just want to fuck.

Yeah, me too, bend over and spread 'em, hotstuff...

 

[Debbie]

Where does the inspiration for your poetry come from?
Do you ever write when you are drunk?

How much have you had to drink so far?

 

[Dillinger]

OK... I'm going to teach y'all some real magick...THE TURKEY CURSE:

1. Take a foot stance as if you were Mike Tyson preparing for a boxing match.
2. Face the particular asshole you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize.
3. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess.
4. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
5. The results will be instantly apparent.

CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of the magician, witch, warlock or charlatan. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Are you drunk enough to book a flight to Reno, Dill?

 

[Dillinger]

Where does the inspiration for your poetry come from?
Do you ever write when you are drunk?

How much have you had to drink so far?

From my fevered imagination awash in unappeased sexual imagery that if it goes unrequited for much longer would probably result in an explosion of universal shiverorgasms that will send vibrations through the cosmic chakra so intense that every living creature will immediately fall to the ground and experience 23 days of simultaneous multiple orgasms.

No I never write when I'm drunk. I'm not even writing right now, I'm just drinking.

Not enough.

 

[Dillinger]

Are you drunk enough to book a flight to Reno, Dill?

Damn fucking close, but too drunk to risk driving to the airport.

 

[Dillinger]

http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/images/einstein.jpg

 

[Rubyfruit]

Damn fucking close, but too drunk to risk driving to the airport.

What, your wife won't drive you?

 

[Dillinger]

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers.

One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast." demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?" Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied "MU".

Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese.

("MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING)

 

[Dillinger]

What, your wife won't drive you?

http://www.junkpile.demon.co.uk/images/micky.gif

 

[Dillinger]

What... no more contestants?

Well then - I'm off to get another scotch and then do some fragging in Unreal Tournament - the 3D graphics are UNREAL when you're 3 sheets to the wind - and I've got my KillerMuffin special UBERFragger I'm dying to try out.

I'll be back a bit later to see if there are any takers.

 

[Debbie]

What... no more contestants?

Well then - I'm off to get another scotch and then do some fragging in Unreal Tournament - the 3D graphics are UNREAL when you're 3 sheets to the wind - and I've got my KillerMuffin special UBERFragger I'm dying to try out.

I'll be back a bit later to see if there are any takers.

While you were gone, I thought of this...

"A person's mystery on the net lies in the imagery of a nonexistent illusion or perception of their physical likeness, one that is formed in your mind but sight unseen"

What do you look like when you are drunk?

 

[Silverlily]

Hey Dil-rito, are you aware you are quoting without adding anything?


*oddly enough, with just the right amount of vodka, Dil-rito is the funniest word I've heard all day*


So, did you UBERfrag to your heart's content? Hello, Hello? Is this thing on...

 

[Dillinger]

I'm back.. who wants ot paly?

 

[Dillinger]

While you were gone, I thought of this...

"A person's mystery on the net lies in the imagery of a nonexistent illusion or perception of their physical likeness, one that is formed in your mind but sight unseen"

What do you look like when you are drunk?

Yes but a mysterious perso lying on the net is an illusion of imaginery non-existence that has a physical perception of likeness to a newly formed mind which is unseeing in its sight.

I look like me, only with a much bigger cock.

 

[Silverlily]

Why on earth would you boil an owl?

 

[Dillinger]

Hey Dil-rito, are you aware you are quoting without adding anything?


*oddly enough, with just the right amount of vodka, Dil-rito is the funniest word I've heard all day*


So, did you UBERfrag to your heart's content? Hello, Hello? Is this thing on...

No Kitten eyes-il-rito-dito-dato-dooto...

I'm aware without any additional quotes

I'm odd enough, as is... even if I'm a crunchy munchy snack food.

 

[Dillinger]

Why on earth would you boil an owl?

Hey babe, you don't have to pick that one - ther are 9 other choices.

boiled as an owl - ( boiled as an owl ) - drunk / intoxicated ( undetermined origin for this cliche', other than quaint references to a cooked meat being "tuff as boiled owl" )