How Does Baseball Work?

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

I’ll leave off most of your original questions, assuming you’re making contact with MrEmotional, as offered above. You can PM me, I could answer your various questions but up to you.

As to this one. In most Major League (and most Minor League) Baseball stadiums the lowest tier of seats along the first and third base lines are only three or four feet high. In addition, seats are directly behind each team’s dugout. You can easily see this, take a look at any of the website seating guides (e.g., Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, etc.) So… it would certainly be reasonable for a partner of a player to sit just behind the dugout of the team her boyfriend plays on (in Yankee Stadium, the Yankees (home team) sit along first base, the visitors along third base.)

A kiss cam would be active during the breaks between top and bottom of an inning or between innings. They wouldn’t have it active while play is going on.

But. Most Major League teams have in recent years extended the protective netting along the base lines. It used to be that there was a fence/netting behind home plate and it only extended to the dugouts. But too many concerns around foul balls, etc., caused most teams to extend it well behind the dugouts. This is NOT meant to prevent fans from getting onto the playing field, but to prevent fouls balls, broken bats and bad throws from leaving the field and hitting fans. But it would also be a definite deterrent to your player being able to get into the stands…

Other issues. If your player’s team has gone into their fielding positions, then he’ll be a significant distance from where his partner is. He’s not getting there, not to mention he wouldn’t leave his fielding position (unless he feels like getting a royal chewing out.)

My suggestions.
- Have the girlfriend sitting in the box seats just behind her boyfriend’s team’s dugout.
- Have his team just entering the dugout during the inning change, so he’s close.
- Have the PA announcer or a specific musical cue that informs the fans it’s “Kiss Cam Time!” That way everyone looks at the big screen.
- She appears… normally the players wouldn’t pay much attention, they’d be storing their gloves and the players to be at bat would be getting their bats, coaches might have discussions… but there are always substitute players sitting in the dugout twiddling their thumbs, one of them might be watching the cam and sees the girlfriend and informs his teammate.
- In the old days, he could easily hop on top of the dugout and get to her seat. But, given the netting, that’d block him. One note. In Yankee Stadium they can lift the bottom of the netting along the dugout. So… if the Kiss Cam officials KNEW the girlfriend was there and intentionally picked her, they could’ve arranged the netting to be raised. Another option, use a Minor League team’s stadium that doesn’t have the full netting. But, many of these won’t have kiss cams…

Otherwise, nothing about this would strike me as anywhere near realistic. Your request was they chose her ‘mistakenly’ but with the netting, it’s not happening in a Major League stadium without some contrivance.

Im laughing you thought 'partner' referred to a woman. Thanks for the advice though. It still mostly applies.

 

[TheRedChamber]

The key to enjoying any televised sporting event.

Invite several couples. Make some drinks... some finger food... place it on the coffee table and turn on the tele. After the first drink the gals disrobe and get together on the carpet between the TV and the coffee table. This interferes with the guys watching the game and piques their interest. Soon everyone is naked on the floor, sofa, and overstuffed chair. Keep the sliding glass door locked if you have a balcony.

That's all very well, but I'm now imagining a whole new attractiveness scale based on a woman's ability to disrupt a man's attention of a sporting event.

10/10 - buries his head between her thighs even though it's the first World Cup Final England have been in for half a century.

9/10 - agrees as long as you do it doggy so he can keep an eye on the action.


0/10 - "Not now luv, if Staleybridge can grind out a nil nil draw they can go from two places below middle of the table to one place above with only thirteen games left in the season...assuming of course that Atherstone lose away to...

Obviously such a scale might say more about the men than the women

 

[MetaBob]

I'm gonna try to make this super clear, I understand baseball as a game. I know it's rules, I know what teams suck and who the major record holders are. Like you could sit me down to watch a game and I'd know what the hell is going on. I play sports but I don't watch them if that makes any sense.

It's when you get into phrases like "make it to the playoffs" that I start to wonder what a baseball bracket looks like. Do teams get knocked out of that seasons tournament when they lose a game? Like getting eliminated? Does every team face eachother and someone behind the scenes run numbers and determine who makes it to the playoffs? What's the difference between major and minor leagues?

Are kiss cams a real thing? If so what point in the game do they happen? Where are the players during this time?

Do broadcasters interview players? Are there sports re-runs?

I've got a story idea I'm just hitting a brick wall with those particular questions.

There are no brackets in Major League Baseball. Well, there's one, but it isn't called a "bracket".

There are no tournaments in Major League Baseball. Well, there's one, but it isn't called a "tournament". Yes, teams get knocked out of (eliminated from) the postseason when they lose enough games in a particular round, but playoff rounds have different lengths. This year, the wild-card round was a three game series; two losses in that series meant the team was out. The Division Series are five games. The League Championship Series and the World Series are seven games. Right now the World Series is tied 1-1 between the Houston Astros and the Philadelphia Phillies.

Which teams make the playoffs is purely a matter of which teams win enough games in their division; the only way someone "behind the scenes" might make a decision about which team gets there and which team doesn't is in case of tied records, in which case a series of tiebreakers gets invoked, but every team is aware of what those tiebreakers are. This year, there were six division champions and six wild-card (at-large) teams. Houston won their division while Philadelphia was a wild-card team. In other years, if teams were tied for a playoff spot at the end of the regular season, a special one-game playoff occurred. Yes, every team plays every other team in their League (National or American) and a few from the other league during the regular season, with more games in their division than otherwise.

The Major League ("The Show") is the apex of the North American pro baseball pyramid. The Minor Leagues are affiliated with the Major League ballclubs. In descending order: AAA, AA, High A, and A. Then there's Rookie League, Foreign Rookie League, and Arizona Fall League. There are also independent leagues that are not affiliated with Major League organizations.

Yes, kiss cams are a thing. There's a lot of downtime in baseball, during which the players are either trotting to or from the dugout, or warming up on the field for the next inning. In the ballpark, between times when the game is being played, the video screen has to be filled with something to entertain the crowd. There are blooper videos, birthday wishes, candids of the crowd, cheering or dancing or ... kissing or whatnot. The Kiss Cam gets called into play when the camera operator zooms in on a likely couple, which the crowd then eggs on to kiss.

Yes, broadcasters interview players, but not usually during the game, perhaps excepting when a player has been removed, usually for a substitution: a pinch hitter, a relief pitcher, or a defensive fielding substitution. "Re-runs" are more properly called replays.

Speaking of the classic Abbott & Costello "Who's On First?" bit, the only other comedy bit I've seen that could compare was George Carlin's: "Baseball vs Football".

 

[PennameWombat]

Im laughing you thought 'partner' referred to a woman. Thanks for the advice though. It still mostly applies.

So your story is fantastical, either women playing in MLB or a world where gay male players are commonplace. Or, your hook is the first ever active MLB player decides to use the kiss cam to out himself to the world.

You asked for how baseball exists in reality. That there are zero openly gay MLB players is part of that reality.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

You asked for how baseball exists in reality. That there are zero openly gay MLB players is part of that reality.

You asked for how baseball exists in reality. That there are zero openly gay MLB players is part of that reality.

It's not that gay MLB players don't or have never existed. There are a number who come out after they retire as the institution is still largely homophobic and they wisely kept it under wraps. There has been one gay baseball player who continued to play for a few years after being outed, Glenn Burke. And this was in the 70s. He wasn't fired for it and instead quit due to homophobia from his teammates in the locker room. Which is remarkable for the 70s.

If the league wasn't fireing people for being gay in the 70s I doubt they'd do so in the 2020s and beyond. Minor league is starting to have a handful of players who have come out. So like yeah while they're aren't CURRENTLY any openly gay players I'm not writing nonfiction. Heck I'm not even writing real person fiction. The only time real life players are mentioned is in reference to whatever records they hold. I'm personally not comfortable writing fiction about real people so there was always going to be a deviation from baseball as it exist in reality.

Gay men are a very mundane part of reality. There's nothing fantastical about their appearance in fiction.

The player is originally from the Japanese baseball league (A precedent set by Ichiro Suzuki thats continued over the years with Shohei Otani, and Seiya Suzuki) and had some pretty lofty ideas about what America is and stands for. As in terms of LGBTQ issues America is a lot more progressive both culturally and legally. It's not unreasonable for him to incorrectly assume that the American league wouldn’t make a stink about it. He is wrong about this and deals with the consequences of his actions.

 

[MetaBob]

The player is originally from the Japanese baseball league (A precedent set by Ichiro Suzuki thats continued over the years with Shohei Otani, and Seiya Suzuki) and had some pretty lofty ideas about what America is and stands for. As in terms of LGBTQ issues America is a lot more progressive both culturally and legally. It's not unreasonable for him to incorrectly assume that the American league wouldn’t make a stink about it. He is wrong about this and deals with the consequences of his actions.

Ichiro wasn't the first Japanese player in MLB; that was Masanori Murakami in 1964. Hideo Nomo was the second, in 1995, and the first to be a star.

Ichiro became the 11th Japanese player in MLB in 2001, and the first position player (non-pitcher).

 

[SimonDoom]

Speaking of the classic Abbott & Costello "Who's On First?" bit, the only other comedy bit I've seen that could compare was George Carlin's: "Baseball vs Football".

I had never seen Carlin's bit before. That was funny. I'd also toss in Robin Williams's discussion of the origin of golf.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Raogi6MWbK4

 

[PennameWombat]

It's not that gay MLB players don't or have never existed. There are a number who come out after they retire as the institution is still largely homophobic and they wisely kept it under wraps. There has been one gay baseball player who continued to play for a few years after being outed, Glenn Burke. And this was in the 70s. He wasn't fired for it and instead quit due to homophobia from his teammates in the locker room. Which is remarkable for the 70s.

Yes. Billy Bean is another one, who came out after he retired and works for MLB now in outreach. I'm familiar with this, as well as players in other sports. If you want tragedy, read up on Justin Fashanu, an English football (soccer) player.

The player is originally from the Japanese baseball league (A precedent set by Ichiro Suzuki thats continued over the years with Shohei Otani, and Seiya Suzuki) and had some pretty lofty ideas about what America is and stands for. As in terms of LGBTQ issues America is a lot more progressive both culturally and legally. It's not unreasonable for him to incorrectly assume that the American league wouldn’t make a stink about it. He is wrong about this and deals with the consequences of his actions.

Suzuki wasn't near the first, but that's already been described.

I think your plot's an interesting and ambitious idea, worthy of an attempt. Had you included this in your earlier posting, I wouldn't have committed my offense of including a female partner for your kiss cam request in my posting. Sorry, I haven't read your stories, I based my response on what'd been asked in the thread and what would be the common case.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUXSZMIiUfFQua1LlKNMg1IOqAn15RkUT

Yooooo props to SB for making this masterpiece

 

[EarlyMorningLight]

Re: OP’s original setup/question, consider setting the scene in a minor league park. They’re smaller, the fans are typically closer to the action, and it would be less logistically difficult for the player to get into the stands than in a major league park as long as he wasn’t on the other side of the field to begin with.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I had never seen Carlin's bit before. That was funny. I'd also toss in Robin Williams's discussion of the origin of golf.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Raogi6MWbK4

Carlin intelligent as always, even if as a Brit it doesn't quite hit the same way. Since we're doing sports based comedy, here's my contribution. Jasper Carrot's ill-fated trip to watch Manchester United during the height of the hooliganism era in the 70/80s.

For context - bovril = a thick meaty paste that can be made into a 'beef tea' flavoured drink particularly associated with football. bogs = the lavatories.

 

[MetaBob]

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUXSZMIiUfFQua1LlKNMg1IOqAn15RkUT

Yooooo props to SB for making this masterpiece

These are really fun. I've now watched the first two. I remember in 1995, early in September, when Dave Niehaus said on a broadcast that baseball fans were missing the Mariners' first pennant race; at the time, with the Angels collapsing ahead of them, the M's were drawing less than 20K fans per home game. I got my family to start going to more games. 12 days later, the M's were drawing 50K fans per game in the fully enclosed Kingdome. I have distinctly happy memories of walking down the ramps with all the other fans after an M's win, with so much joy spilling over from the game that people were spontaneously cheering, encouraging and reinforcing each other, and there weren't acoustic tiles to damp the sound. It was LOUD!

 

[MetaBob]

These are really fun. I've now watched the first two. I remember in 1995, early in September, when Dave Niehaus said on a broadcast that baseball fans were missing the Mariners' first pennant race; at the time, with the Angels collapsing ahead of them, the M's were drawing less than 20K fans per home game. I got my family to start going to more games. 12 days later, the M's were drawing 50K fans per game in the fully enclosed Kingdome. I have distinctly happy memories of walking down the ramps with all the other fans after an M's win, with so much joy spilling over from the game that people were spontaneously cheering, encouraging and reinforcing each other, and there weren't acoustic tiles to damp the sound. It was LOUD!

Yeah, I watched 'em all. Good series, thank you for sharing it. Last week I performed my poetry tribute to the 2001 Mariners for the first time. I'm happy to have gotten through it without breaking down.

Today I found an Edgar interview by Harold Reynolds, who was a fine 2nd baseman for the M's (appearing in one of the vids you pointed out) shortly before the M's got good.

I was listening to that Spring Training game when Edgar got hurt. The "field" in the domed stadium in Vancouver hadn't been properly set up. Edgar got caught between bases and the infield gave way. He'd been the best 3rd baseman the M's ever had until then. Afterward, except for brief crowd-acknowledging cameos, he never played the field again.

He still somehow (doubles!) managed to make the Hall of Fame. As a hitter.

 

[SimonDoom]

If we're on the subject of sports, we can't forget the Monty Python sketch about the soccer match between the German philosophers and the Greek philosophers.

 

[Comshaw]

Wait! Wait! Baseball, is that the game where you kick the ball to the other team, they dribble it back across the blue line and try to throw it through the goal with a googly using the little sticks with baskets on the end? I get so confused by some of these games.

Comshaw

 

[Comshaw]

Wait! Wait! Baseball, is that the game where you kick the ball to the other team, they dribble it back across the blue line and try to throw it through the goal with a googly using the little sticks with baskets on the end? I get so confused by some of these games.

Comshaw

And for my money, fuck a buncha' baseball, football, basketball! There isn't another game as American as LaCrosse. That game is based on the Native American game of stick ball. My favorite team? Why, the New Westminster Salmonbellies of course! Go 'Bellies!


Comshaw