How does a married guy meet a nice married lady online

[kcbigkid]

Hi, I am a nice married guy in Kansas City who is in a passionless marriage. I would like to hear from others who have met somebody online as a discreet friend for having sex.

Do these type of relationships happen. I have tried a couple of the adult sites like AFF and LavaLife and have had very limited sucess even getting email answered. Most of the folks on them are evidently just there to be a voyer and never answer peoples email to them.

Do like minded married people really find other married people for discreet non commited affairs.......

 

[EarthWind]

Swing baby, swing!!

Have you ever thought of swinging? Its like-minded people/couples who swap with other like-minded people/couples for sex or sexual pleasures.

 

[marksgirl]

You might try the Lit Personals also.

 

[sheath]

Yes, married people do find other married people for discreet sex...but it's a dangerous game you are playing, you know that, right? Right. Okay. I am tempted to lecture, but I won't. You can breathe a sigh of relief now...

So far as where to go...try chat rooms. You can get a good idea of who is looking for what. Personals are good, too.

That said...

Just always be completely and TOTALLY up-front what a potential lover about what you are looking for and what kind of relationship you are in. If you will never, ever, leave your wife, then make that clear. Crystal clear. Don't ever say you are going through a divorce or you are separated if you are not. Keep all your intentions clear. Never, EVER lead anyone on.

If you do enter into a 'relationship' or something along those lines, be prepared for emotions to change. If they do, then you have to be prepared with what YOU will do. Don't waver on your intentions. If you begin to doubt yourself, distance yourself long enough to reevaluate everything. Again, know what you want.

And most importantly, be at peace with yourself over your decision. If you feel the slightest bit of doubt, DO NOT do anything. Be entirely certain and sure of what you want. In the end, just remember: you are the one that has to live with the choices you make.

I hope you find what you need.

S.

 

[RomanHans]

I've wondered the same thing...

...and now realize that it's wrong to bring such expectations to any relationship. I thought that I was in a passionless marriage, but learned that it has more to do with me than the marriage. In any case, I've made contact with nice married ladies on-line, but approach them from the perspective of just getting to know someone new and different. If you approach someone with the attitude of 'hey, wouldn't you like to have some casual and non-committal sex?' you are selling yourself and your potential partner short.

Plus, I am well aware of the potential damages and evils of adultery. However, I do not judge those who engage in adultery--since I am certainly tempted to engage in it myself. But I think that it is an illusion to assume that there is such a thing as sex without commitment. If nothing else, the fact that there is always a risk of pregnancy or STDs in most sexual activities means that if you have a sexual relationship, you've just committed yourself to something.

Pardon my rambling and etc.

Roman

 

[RomanHans]

Re: Swing baby, swing!!

Have you ever thought of swinging? Its like-minded people/couples who swap with other like-minded people/couples for sex or sexual pleasures.

And from all I can tell, if you're a married man who tries to get involved in swinging without your spouse, you have about a snowball's chance in hell of meeting anyone interested in even talking to you...most swingers are not 'cheating' (in that they swing with at least the knowledge if not the participation of their partner).

 

[SexyChele]

Damn, Sheath said it all! You go, girl!

I will skip the lecture as well. But I will second the part about being completely honest and upfront. And do expect emotional changes - they don't always happen, but they have and can and then things get very sticky.

I've no doubt you've not had luck at AFF. I was listed there for several months, and even though my profile specifically stated "absolutely no married men", who do you think hit on me most often? Expect rejection. Most women do not like the idea of potentially hurting another woman. Or they will identify with being in your wife's position. Something ya just gotta get used to.

Oh, and do think long and very hard on what you are about to do. How do you think your wife might respond if she were to find out? Can she handle it? Can you? Don't expect an affair to remain hidden - most are found out. Be prepared to deal with it.

You are playing with fire, take precautions or be prepared to get burned.

 

[kcbigkid]

Yes, I in fact did meet a nice couple for a MFM and it was great. It was about servicing the lady but great for all involved. But it was a fantasy situation for the couple and the only wanted it to be a one time event. But I have also been on Swinging.com . most couples want to play with couples. But my wife is not even into playing we me. so that sorta excludes me most of the time from a swinging situation.

 

[Wiggles]

Find your wifes Yahoo name and start up a little conversation with her.

Remember to talk about all the things you like and what you're wearing.

After a few months of heated conversations agree to meet her at a local hotel room, with the lights off.

This sort of zany plan just might work.

 

[RomanHans]

I like Wiggles's plan--but does your wife YAHOOOOO!?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Roman

 

[RomanHans]

Anyhow, in my limited experience, your best bet is to keep posting and chatting in places like this...I really don't think that most women respond to ads posted by men (there are so many out there...how would you choose?), and probably get bombarded by PMs, IMs, and emails from men responding to their ads.

The only way to stand out is to be yourself, and hope that some 'nice married lady' finds what you have to say intriguing enough to make the first contact...

And that's how it should be, IMHO. If adultery on-line were any easier, then I'm sure that a large portion of the population (especially the male population) would be spending their time on these sites and ignoring their families.

Roman