How do you write?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bisc, don't be exactly half of an eleven-pound black forest ham.

*puts down black forest ham sandwich*

 

[Gentleman_G]

*puts down black forest ham sandwich*

Cannibalism, BH?

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Cannibalism, BH?

I don't know anymore. I was hungry...

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Don't cut your ear off.

"Sound" advice... XD

 

[Hypoxia]

For me, it's absinthe. Hemingway was onto something there...

Henry Fonda was shooting a film in Europe and dropped in on Hemingway. Ernie offered Hank a glass of green goop which he refused with a grimace. "I don't need an addiction." Ernie persisted, "Absinthe makes the heart grow, Fonda."

 

[SamScribble]

Henry Fonda was shooting a film in Europe and dropped in on Hemingway. Ernie offered Hank a glass of green goop which he refused with a grimace. "I don't need an addiction." Ernie persisted, "Absinthe makes the heart grow, Fonda."

'Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?'

(Please feel free to write your own preamble. )

 

[MistressCassy]

I normally wake up and make a coffee, enjoy listening to the news and then start typing. I end up taking breaks at about 1 pm on days that I have a full day to write and pull out my notepad with a whisky and sketch how I see things developing.

I tend to leave certain chapters half finished and come back to them later when a good scene pops into my head. The last chapters of my writing are always finished first and my initial chapters tend to be a skeleton with bullet points that need reworking the most.

 

[Hypoxia]

'Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?'

(Please feel free to write your own preamble. )

Radical artist Roy Lichtenstein arrived at Andy Warhol's old 'Factory' on Union Square dressed in rags and schmatzas, with really tattered footwear, and a hairless cat sitting on his shoulder. Andy asked...

 

[SamScribble]

Radical artist Roy Lichtenstein arrived at Andy Warhol's old 'Factory' on Union Square dressed in rags and schmatzas, with really tattered footwear, and a hairless cat sitting on his shoulder. Andy asked...

The version I heard had Roy Rogers leaving a new pair of boots on the front porch overnight. The following morning he went out to discover that something with sharp teeth - and probably sharp claws, too - had given his boots a thorough chewing.

Not a man to put up with such nonsense, Roy grabbed his Winchester, saddled up Trigger, and headed for the hills. Later, he returned with a dead cougar.

'Pardon me, Roy,' Dale Evans sang, 'is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?'

And the chorus chimed in with: 'Track twenty nine. Boy, you can gimme a shine.'

 

[Hypoxia]

'Pardon me, Roy,' Dale Evans sang, 'is that the cat who chewed you new shoes?'

And the chorus chimed in with: 'Track twenty nine. Boy, you can gimme a shine.'

Incongruous. Doesn't fit. Maybe...

Dale: "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed you new shoes?'
Roy: "I aimed for his throat. You think he'll make a nice coat?"​

Now, if it was the Warhol / Lichtenstein version, that might go:

Andy: "Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed you new shoes?"
Roy:"No, she's not that kind. I left the others behind."​

Both are still weak, but at least they tie in somewhat.

Which returns us to the OP: How do we write? Here, I merely flung dumb ideas against a mental wall till something stuck. Then I keyed them.

Much of my tale-spinning is like that. Solve self-created problems. Search the erotic thesaurus for the right evocative and/or absurd word. Wonder what the players will do (to me) next. Then think up the next oddly sexual perplexities. The Roy & Dale trope could have gone sexual, y'know. So could Roy & Andy. And don't forget Scooby-Doo chases with the cat.