How Do You Know?

[Dillinger]

Mullah Nasrudin once entered a store and asked the proprietor, "Have you ever seen me before?"

"No," was the prompt answer.

"Then," cried Nasrudin, "how do you know it is me?"

 

[Ally C]

I bet the shopkeeper was pleased.

 

[R Nitelight]

The shopkeeper relied, "You're wearing a nametag, you dork."
Sheepishly, Nasrudin made a hasty exit.

 

[ranajja]

Sounds like something one of my idiot clients would say.

 

[Dillinger]

A young man went to his Rabbi and said, "I have lost Faith."

"So," said the Rabbi, "and how did you lose Faith?"

"I studied Logic at the university," said the young man, "and I found out that you can prove either side of any case if you're clever enough."

"Indeed," said the Rabbi. "Can you prove that you have no nose?"

"Certainly," said the student. "To begin with ---"

But at this point the Rabbi punched him hard right on the nose.

"What hurts?" the Rabbi asked solicitously.

 

[Ally C]

Later that night ...

... Nasrudin stood in front of his full length mirror and asked "You talkin' to me? You talkin to me? ... ". To which he replied "How do you know it's me?" In desperation he went back to the store for a second opinion and some bread and a tin of beans. "I really should eat better" he muttered to himself. The shopkeeper looked up, "You talking to me?" he said. "Yes," said Nasrudin, "but how do you know that you are you?" "Fuck off!" exclaimed the shopkeeper. And Nasrudin did.

 

[Dillinger]

Various members of the Literotica Bulletin Board had meditated long in search of Illumination and finally they received a great flash of insight.

Rushing to their roshi (Zen Master as exemplified by the enlightened Gnufi Poppets), they cried out in one voice..."We have it! We have it! That rock there is inside our heads!"

"You all must have big heads," The Master replied, "to hold a rock that size."

 

[Ally C]

The Rock?

All this talk about wrestlers. Where's Ambrosious? He finds it erotic I believe.

 

[Mistress]

LOL! Snuggles Dillinger!

 

[Dillinger]

This is great... I am being followed by Mistress and getting snuggled all over the place. It doesn't get much better than this!

 

[Juspar Emvan]

The Rabi story . . .

. . . is frighteningly profound at this time of morning. Please don't.

 

[Mistress]

Of course Sweet Cakes! Snuggles and kisses!

 

[Dillinger]

Re: The Rabi story . . .

. . . is frighteningly profound at this time of morning. Please don't.

Keep your arms up at all time, protect your face and nose...

 

[Juspar Emvan]

watch the right, he'll lead with the left, but watch for the right

 

[Juspar Emvan]

thank you, that suits 4:30am much better

 

[Dillinger]

A man fell while walking along the edge of a cliff. Luckily,
he managed to catch hold of an outcropping, but found no
additional foot or hand holds. In desperation he cried out:
"Help! Anyone! Help!" There was a rumble of thunder, and
a deep voice spake from the sky, saying "I am here, my son.
Release your grasp upon the rock, and I will carry you to
safety." After a pause, the man shouted "Anyone else?"

 

[Mistress]

Cracks up laughing!

 

[Dillinger]

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light;
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the preveious night.

 

[Mistress]

Dillinger

God I love your poems....wanna rock my world baby? Winks

 

[Dillinger]

Funny you should ask. World rocking is my specialty.

 

[Dillinger]

Someone saw Nasrudin searching for something on the ground.

"What have you lost, Mullah?" he asked?

"My key," said the Mullah. So they both went down on their knees and looked for it.

After a time the other man asked: "Where exactly did you drop it?"

"In my own house."

"Then why are you looking here?"

"There is more light here than inside my own house."

 

[Mistress]

 

[SimplySouthern]

Funny you should ask. World rocking is my specialty.

Everyone has to be good at something. Damn, what a thing to be good at.

 

[Dillinger]

88 Gold Bricks

Teach us your Secret, Master! yap my Yahoos.
Then for the hardness of their hearts, and the softness of their heads, I taught them Magick.
But... alas!
Teach us Your real secret Master! how to become invisible, how to acquire love, an oh! beyond all, how to make gold.

But how much gold will you give me for the secret of Infinite Riches?

Then said the foremost and most foolish: Master, it is nothing; but here is a hundred thousand pounds.
This did I deign to accept, and whispered in his ear this secret:

"A SUCKER IS BORN EVERY MINUTE."

Courtesy of Frater Perderabo, he of my former namesake.

 

[Mistress]

Dillinger!

Ooooo all these yummy men are showing up now..I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow! Snuggles you close!