How do you deal with a cheating spouse?

[Ramrod325]

How do you deal with a cheater? Is it possible to trust them again? What if your guilt and they don't know about it? Do you feel that they deserve a second chance? If kids are involved, would you give them a second chance because of the kids?

 

[subwannabe]

Only you know your particular situation. You gave us very little to go on. Ultimately, only you know the answers to your questions.

 

[werdsmith]

tough call, have to dig to the bottom of the issue and go from there. Good luck.

 

[silverwhisper]

whoops, didn't realize this entire thread was really just an exercise in conjectural masturbation. my bad.

ed

 

[NikkiBastion]

Put his shit in the yard and that's a wrap. Trust? Nope.

 

[DAVIDSride656]

I've been cheated On and it sucks to the 3rd power .. But dont put up with it everyone has somthing great to Offer in this life! And if you love yourself !!
You will realize it and look for someone who sees how great you are !!

 

[roomfor1more]

How do you deal with a cheater? Is it possible to trust them again? What if your guilt and they don't know about it? Do you feel that they deserve a second chance? If kids are involved, would you give them a second chance because of the kids?

To begin with, I do not believe a couple should stay together for the kids and the reason why, I feel it does the children no good. Children are intuitive and they know something is wrong between their parents. It does them no good to keep the illusion of a happy family and it may, in the end, hurt them because of the message being sent. The message they may get is that once you are married you are bound to that person and divorce is a sign of failure. Such a message, might set them up for an abusive relationship later in life.

Moving on to the question about second chances, that decision is yours to make. A lot, I feel, depends on the length of the relationship, the amount of work you have invested in the relationship, and the reason why the two of you married in the first place. This means, a second chance is a deeply personal decision that cannot be reduced to a simple generic formula that results in the right decision being made.

Your next question regarding trust, this is something that is not easy to define and it is again personal. Trust for some is easy to get back and for others once it is lost, it is never gained back. Provided your spouse does not cheat again, I suspect trust might come back in enough time and this can be done without paying thousands for a therapist. It depends if you are willing to trust them and if you are willing to take that risk, again.

Finally your last question dealing with a cheater, this is up to you.