How do I tell her?

[HornyHenry]

I'm taking an old friend out for dinner for her birthday this week. I have known her over 6 years. We ride a workout bike and talk once a week. We have only done a couple of things outside the gym before, like taking each other places and helping her do something on the computer.
She's got a sexy bod from yoga and working out, as well as eating right, about 110lbs or less, of all muscle.

I feel that she likes me but would rather have someone else for a lover or boyfriend. How do I tell her that I want to kiss her for hours and possibly eat her after her birthday dinner? (Yes, I know I should wait for some kind of sign, but...)
I know this thing has been asked before, but her problem is that she likes to talk too much. I really want to tell her to be quiet and share a conversation instead of rambling on all the time, but I know that's the way she is.

The only time I kissed her was on MY BD, after hours of talking, and she gave me a nonplussed type response. I don't know if she liked it or wanted more or what. I used to always be able to tell. Maybe marriage and divorce have numbed my senses?

Anyway, any help would be appreciated.
Thanks,
HH

 

[Cathleen]

Henry, first let me say awww, your sincerity is so clear.

Now let me say, I am one of those women who talk too much as well. I once had the pleasure of being made to stop talking by a kiss. It was the sweetest and most lovely kiss. I was babbling and he placed one hand on my face and kissed me softly. I was speechless. I had a big smile on my face too.

Talk to her, kiss her - don't throw in the towel for her. You don't know what she is looking for in a partner, so don't exclude yourself. Many times what we think we want is what we should not have.

Tell her how much you long to kiss her..... create a moment when you can kiss her. Oh, this sounds so nice for you Henry.

 

[Lust Engine]

Nothing ventured nothing gained. It's not the most comfortable of things I agree, but sometimes you've just got to put it all on the line & spill your guts!

Take a chance.

Life was never meant to be played that safely now. Who knows? She could be thinking the same thing about you as well!

 

[HornyHenry]

Thanks

Thanks, Cathleen. I have done that type kiss before, long ago, but it was with someone I was pretty sure would welcome it. And it worked like yours did, with a positive response. So, I'll keep that in mind and try it if I have a chance. If only she had your romantic attitude...

And, Cathleen and Lust Engine, I have always felt uncomfortable TELLING someone what I want to do with them. Fear? Rejection? It seems to kill the spontaneity of it all if I talk about it first, don't you think.
But I WILL consider it if she shuts up long enough for me to say anything. lol


And the eating, I feel she really need a good eating. I think it would do her good. I really want to tell her how much of Mr G's thread I've read and how I'd love to try it on her!
Ok, I'll stick with getting to the kissing first.

 

[coolr]

this is my 1st time posting in the "HT cafe" been around for a while but i could never figure out what it meant so i never bothered lol, but anyways, henry this thread has made me laugh, but in a good way, i wish you the best of luck (sorry, no advice bud), other than that, hope it all goes well for ya

 

[Mischka]

She could be talking too much around you for two reasons. First, she's attracted to you and she doesn't know how to broach the subject, so she fills the air with other nonsense. Second, she's not attracted to you but still likes you and is hoping by talking too much she won't allow the subject to be broached.

And honestly, I can't tell which one it is. She went out with you for your birthday and is going out with you for her birthday, both indicators that she's attracted to you. But her non-plussed reaction to your first kiss is not promising.

Now, normally talking about what you want to do kills the moment, but with her, it's probably the best approach. Are you proposing a sexual dessert to celebrate her birthday? Do you want to continue being friends, but with benefits? Do you want to pursue a relationship with her? Tell her what you want, and then see how she reacts. You may lose the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way, but it sounds like you are already past the platonic friendship stage anyway.

 

[HornyHenry]

Yep

She could be talking too much around you for two reasons. First, she's attracted to you and she doesn't know how to broach the subject, so she fills the air with other nonsense. Second, she's not attracted to you but still likes you and is hoping by talking too much she won't allow the subject to be broached.

And honestly, I can't tell which one it is. She went out with you for your birthday and is going out with you for her birthday, both indicators that she's attracted to you. But her non-plussed reaction to your first kiss is not promising.

Now, normally talking about what you want to do kills the moment, but with her, it's probably the best approach. Are you proposing a sexual dessert to celebrate her birthday? Do you want to continue being friends, but with benefits? Do you want to pursue a relationship with her? Tell her what you want, and then see how she reacts. You may lose the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way, but it sounds like you are already past the platonic friendship stage anyway.

I agree it's one or the other, but I don't know which either.
No, I wouldn't propose a sexual desert to her out loud. lol That one is my private desire.
And, I don't know if I want a real relationship with her or not. But I would like to find out If I do. Kissing will tell us so much.

Tomorrow is the big night. (I tried for 30 minutes to arrange where we were going and pick up time, etc, and she talked about Susie Orman, work, etc and I never got it all settled before I had to go get the laundry!) Hope I can get back to her soon, as I had to come online to look up a part.

coolr, the HT cafe is what the HT used to be for, where we could go and ask sex or relationship questions and get good, honest feedback from caring people to help resolve our problems; without all the slamming, flaming, and other crap on some of the other forums. I'm glad you enjoyed my predicament. It's easy for a young guy to not understand my seemingly trivial problem. (And I don't mean this as a slam on you.)
Thanks for your support. I'll let you know how it comes out.

 

[Lynxie]

Keep us posted on how your evening goes, Henry! I've been reading this thread, and am dying to know how it turns out.

My advice? Be open and honest...tell her how you feel. You've kissed her once, and she's still obviously your friend. If she didn't like it, I highly doubt she'd want to spend another 'birthday evening' with you again. Best wishes!

 

[coolr]

I know you didn't mean that as a slam on me Henry, just hope that I didn't offend you, wasn't trying to be rude in the slightest. Good luck!

 

[Ezzy]

Communicate!

No matter where you are or at what level in a relationship, (starting out, just good friends, 30 years down the line), the biggest stumbling blocks are the ones we put in the way of that communication.

She sounds to me more pro than anti, but as Mishka said, there is too little information to really give you a good peice of advice, except to comunicate and continue to be open to the flow of the evening.

You could try a card or a letter, people have forgotten how we hold things like birthday cards and letters in a special place in our hearts, So think about writing her a card or a short letter, saying how much you would like to advance the relationship, but you like being her friend and you don't want to loose that if more is not possible.

Take her out for her birthday, and hold the cord till the end of the evening, then offer her the card just as you drop her off. Then go hame and spend a sleepless night wondering.

But by doing it this way you give her the space to react without preasure.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

 

[bytor2112]

have enough wine that she gets ripped...take her home and casually pull your cock out and tell her you want to feed her dessert!!!

 

[Cathleen]

Henry, hope tonight went well. (Which is a not so subtle way of asking what the status is now? lol)

 

[HornyHenry]

Glad you asked

Henry, hope tonight went well. (Which is a not so subtle way of asking what the status is now? lol)

Well, we did it. NO, not IT.(I wish)
I made her a BD card on my computer, picked a rose from my bush, and picked her up before 7pm. We had a nice meal and talked until 10! Then, She invited me into her place and tried to get me drunk! OK, we shared about 3 or 4 ozs each and talked even more. Close to 11pm, I told her how I knew we were friends and all, and that I wanted to kiss her. I asked her what she thought about it. She replied that it wouldn't be a good idea and it would ruin our friendship, so, no kisses.

But, she seemed relieved and we talked some more. She even walked ME back to my car and gave me several big, wonderful hugs while we talked some more!! Damn, she's got a smoking little bod!
And she looked very nice with her hair down, regular clothes on, and makeup.

So, we are still friends, and it's just as well, because I have been in relationships before with women who talk too much, and I'd really rather not be in a relationship like that again. Not for very long, anyway.
This was the problem from the beginning, that we were friends for so long that it would be awkward to change our relationship.
I'm not her type either, and I probably knew that, but the type she chooses aren't right for her either. She doesn't know that though.
I still think she really needs to get laid real good by somebody. She needs it!

So, everything's fine and we are still friends, and that's the way it will stay.
So, it's OK.

Thanks for all your advice and caring from everyone.
Still, HornyHenry

 

[Cathleen]

I'm really happy for you Henry, for taking the initiative. You seem quite settled with the outcome too. Good for you.

 

[HornyHenry]

Yes

I'm really happy for you Henry, for taking the initiative. You seem quite settled with the outcome too. Good for you.

I'm OK with it, and glad I asked here and got good advice. It was and is a good experience and I'll grow from it. There are more fish in the sea; some bigger, more colorful, tastier, and some that WANT to be caught.
It does my heart good to know that there are caring people like you around.
Thanks again.