How do I tell a guy

foxxxyred

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 1, 2001
Posts
865
that i would like to see him more? And that i'm not just after sex that i may actually in time want a b-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d (shock horror!) without scaring him off?:confused:
 
Red

treat him like you like to be treated - ask him out for coffee etc tell him you like his company and want to chat - if you scare him off then you had no chance in the first place but at least you tried. Better to know than keep wondering - sometimes its best just to be upfront and let the friendship develop - its easy to keep the sex out of it for a while - at least until you really want it and are sure he is not in it just for the sex - just be friends and let him know what you want - things will develop if he is the right sort of guy and likes you too.

Let your intuition take over - you can do it.

Love J
 
Thing is we have kind of been 'seeing' each other for about a month. The sex thing has sort of already come up hehe.
I'm not sure i do want to make our r/ship more, but i wonder how i would do it if i wanted. I've never succeeded in doing it before-but probably never tried to i guess.
 
i always found that the gf/bf thing just kind of developed....without having to really talk about it.
 
...we have kind of been 'seeing' each other ...
kind of ? - what's that ? are you or not ?
...The sex thing has sort of already come up ...
sort of ? - what's that ? it came up or not ...
...I'm not sure ... i wonder ... if i wanted...
i guess this is the key: make sure what you want for yourself.

do you want a friend or sex ?
do you want to have a friend first and maybe sex later ?
do you want to have sex first and maybe a friend later ?
do you want a long term relationship ?

what if.... anything of the above happens ?
will you be happy with it ? longing for more ?

ask yourself - but be honest

Rex :rose:
 
Rex1960 said:

kind of ? - what's that ? are you or not ?

sort of ? - what's that ? it came up or not ...

i guess this is the key: make sure what you want for yourself.

do you want a friend or sex ?
do you want to have a friend first and maybe sex later ?
do you want to have sex first and maybe a friend later ?
do you want a long term relationship ?

what if.... anything of the above happens ?
will you be happy with it ? longing for more ?

ask yourself - but be honest

Rex :rose:

Oh so many questions!

Yes we are seeing each other.
Yes the sex thing has happened.

Yes i want more than just sex.
And no i don't think i could be happy with just a physical thing.
 
foxxxyred said:
Oh so many questions!
Yes we are seeing each other.
Yes the sex thing has happened.
Yes i want more than just sex.
And no i don't think i could be happy with just a physical thing.

why don't you just tell him upfront about it ?
if he agrees - here you go !
if he doesn't - you're not wasting any time !

if you just leave it unclear - you'll be unhappy anyway.

hopefully he knows about his own desires and more important:
hopefully he is honest

Rex :rose:
 
Aaahh i hate this dating stuff! Why can't we just fast forward to the relationship bit? :D
 
foxxxyred said:
Aaahh i hate this dating stuff! Why can't we just fast forward to the relationship bit? :D

what's wrong with dating ?
i figured out you americans have big problems with it ?

Rex :rose:
 
Rex1960 said:


what's wrong with dating ?
i figured out you americans have big problems with it ?

Rex :rose:

I'm an aussie.

I just hate the stress of dating. It never seems to go right for me!
 
foxxxyred said:
I'm an aussie.
I just hate the stress of dating. It never seems to go right for me!

oops - sorry - didn't want to hurt you. g'day mate.
but you came up like an american having stress of dating.

but what went wrong up to now ? more details please
if you don't mind me asking

Rex :rose:
 
Rex1960 said:


oops - sorry - didn't want to hurt you. g'day mate.
but you came up like an american having stress of dating.

but what went wrong up to now ? more details please
if you don't mind me asking

Rex :rose:

I just have a history of liking the wrong guys-ie; ones i can never have. I think i'm over that now, but i guess a relationship just hasn't happened for me. This is the first guy in about a year. I'm only 20 though.
 
foxxxyred said:
I just have a history of liking the wrong guys-ie; ones i can never have. I think i'm over that now, but i guess a relationship just hasn't happened for me. This is the first guy in about a year. I'm only 20 though.

ok - youth is no fault - neither is age

you just take more time to find the guy who fits - the MrRight - the one that you deserve - the one that responds to your needs. you will know it the very second you meet him.

be patient. Guess there are a bunch of nice guys out there (maybe anywhere in outback) just waiting for a girl like you.

Rex :rose:
 
Let the dating go where it may

Enjoy each day

If it's Mr Right he will stay

If not and you each go your own way

You will have spent good time in play

and go on to love another, another day


Rex is right.....you may know him at first sight but it may take time to know him better.....time well spent.

Good luck
:rose: ;)
 
Plain and simple

What about saying something like this " Hey I really enjoy spending time with you! " Then something like this " I would like to do more of ________" or " Would you like to make this Exclusive as in seeing no one else but each other?" Just a guys oppinion.

Holden
 
Re: Plain and simple

HoldenMcCrank said:
What about saying something like this " Hey I really enjoy spending time with you! " Then something like this " I would like to do more of ________" or " Would you like to make this Exclusive as in seeing no one else but each other?" Just a guys oppinion.

Holden

Thanks for your opinion :) It does sound like a plan to me ;)
 
weed said:
Let the dating go where it may

Enjoy each day

If it's Mr Right he will stay

If not and you each go your own way

You will have spent good time in play

and go on to love another, another day


Rex is right.....you may know him at first sight but it may take time to know him better.....time well spent.

Good luck
:rose: ;)

thankyou!
 
1>cut and paste your question into a word document...

2>hit print...

3>take printout and hand it to him...

Then have fun. The communication barrier has been broken and you both can openly talk about these things with each other.
 
Guess i should just concentrate on getting to know him and keeping his attention for now! I just want to be prepared just in case ;)
 
foxxxyred said:
that i would like to see him more? And that i'm not just after sex that i may actually in time want a b-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d (shock horror!) without scaring him off?:confused:


you answered yourself by asking the question
 
Well this question no longer applies! He seems to have lost interest or found somebody new.

Now i remember why i don't date! Silly me for forgetting. I can't handle the stress of it all.
 
aaww

poor foxxy

sorry to hear that
don't stop dating

maybe you should start a
"stressless dating - any suggestions" thread

Rex :rose:
 
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