How do I know if...

[njgirl0863]

I find looking at pictures or videos of two women together very erotic arousing and stimulating. I have never actually been with another woman. I consider myself straight but I have rp'd and chatted sexually with women. I do know a few lesbian women and I find myself fantasizing about being with them. It is a really big turn on.

I feel more than just a curiosity, it is more of a desire or urge.

My question is how do I know if I really have bi-sexual tendencies? How do I pursue these tendencies and basically what do I do?

Or, is this a natural feeling for all straight women? I am naturally extremely sexual and have a very high sex drive.

HELP!!!!

Please feel free to pm me.

 

[bigman_569]

I have a similar urge when it comes to men...

I have never been attracted to men, but the thought of being forced to suck another man's cock or vice-versa is very arousing to me. I also have been letting my fiance fuck me with her dildo...

How do i know if im just into the taboo or am actually bi.

feel free to IM me as well.

 

[njgirl0863]

Not exactly what I mean't but thank you for your reply.

Still searching for answers...... anyone pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!

 

[elib257]

You'll get plenty more intelligent and well-put-together answers than this, but here goes...

It's very normal! I would suggest that there is no such thing as 'straight', 'gay' or 'bisexual' just a scale running between them all. So you might be straight with a little gay or gay with a little straight or more or less bisexual or whatever. I don't think it needs classifying - it's just not that helpful.

What is helpful is that you know what you want and that will invariably change over time, probably yearly, monthly, weekly even daily. What you definitely need to know is that you feel comfortable with anything that you feel and do. So if you do decide take any ff relationship to a physical level then you feel comfortable with it that day - and that you've made a decision that is right for you in general and that you won't feel ashamed of later if your tendencies change. (I hope that bit makes sense).

Have you ever been to a gay bar/club? If not I suggest you do. Not just for picking up women (although I'd say go for it...) but for gaining a social circle outside the average straight ones (I'm assuming that your friends are mainly straight but correct me if I'm wrong). Once you've made a connection with these people you could talk about the issues involved, how they came to realise they were gay/bisexual, how they came to terms with it. Your experiences will most definitely differ but I'm betting they overcame some confusion - or they are possibly still experiencing it.

Anyway, as I said you'll recieve more help than that I'm sure but thats just my thoughts at this very late hour. Good luck and be happy

p.s I've just read Erika's post and as always it's full of useful information. I definitely agree with her about using labels as a tool, I just think that they are liquid and will change as your feelings become more clear and you expand your experiences. Like she said, I would keeep it to yourself and maybe close friends untill you are completely comfortable that you know who you are and where you want to be. Have fun finding out and good luck

 

[SweetErika]

For most, "straight" means not attracted to the same sex. So, no, all straight women don't fantasize about other women. I think it's more common and acceptable for women to admire and be physically and emotionally close with each other, but that can all be had without wanting sex, romantic relationships, etc.

If you're attracted to women and want to have sex with some of them, I wouldn't consider you straight, but how you feel most comfortable defining your feelings is up to you.

Elib is right, definitions aren't terribly helpful, but I have found them useful when looking for like-minded people. For example, I'm likely to seek female partners who identify as bi because women who identify as straight are usually uncertain enough to back out or not like it in the aftermath, and lesbians are usually not interested in bi women who are happily married to men. Likewise, it might be good for two women who are "curious" to hook up. Those are generalities and guidelines based on my experience only, of course, but I think you see my point about using labels as a tool.

You're the only one who can figure this out, but it sounds like you have the desire to give exploring a fair chance (you're definitely not alone in that!). Part of your necessary process is probably going to be doing some more soul searching and confronting your past notions and ideals.

What would it mean to you if you were bi? Do you have positive and/or negative associations with that word and concept in general? How about if it pertains to you, specifically?

For example, I had a great deal of trouble figuring out how being bi would fit into my marriage and relationships with others. Having relationships with women would mean I couldn't be monogamous, and that was an ideal at that time for me. Then I had to question why monogamy was so great for me/my marriage if it meant I couldn't be my whole self and enriched by relationships with others. I was also afraid of how I'd deal with family and friends, who I'd tell, how I'd be perceived, etc.

Anyway, it was a whole ball of wax, but I'm a happier person for sorting through it piece by piece. I haven't told anyone I knew before I confirmed it to myself because Hubby and I figure what we choose for our relationship is our business alone, but I'm completely open with new friends so I have a good support system and don't feel too closeted.

As long as you're in a good place mentally/emotionally, use common sense (e.g. meeting women in public first, going with your instincts) and safer sex practices, you really have nothing to lose by trying. Unless you don't click or have a bad experience, you'll likely find yourself having a good idea of whether or not it fits for you at this point in your life, at least. And you may very well find just the act of taking a step toward understanding yourself better to be a big relief.

Enjoy your journey!

 

[z0rkNY]

All i have to say is...

I find looking at pictures or videos of two women together very erotic arousing and stimulating. I have never actually been with another woman. I consider myself straight but I have rp'd and chatted sexually with women. I do know a few lesbian women and I find myself fantasizing about being with them. It is a really big turn on.

I feel more than just a curiosity, it is more of a desire or urge.

My question is how do I know if I really have bi-sexual tendencies? How do I pursue these tendencies and basically what do I do?

Or, is this a natural feeling for all straight women? I am naturally extremely sexual and have a very high sex drive.

HELP!!!!

Please feel free to pm me.

Go for it love what do you have to loose. hey you may find out that you like to play with women and all you've done then is find a new set of play items

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

elib

Trust me, there are men who cannot be less aroused by men. Straight men do exist. I think the infamous 'lady's man' is an example of this.

njgirl

Movies and stories about combat are pretty stimulating, but the reality is a nightmare. Ditto for the meat by-products that go into a hot-dog or vienna sausage; they taste pretty good but dont look appetizing when the 'by-products' are shovelled into the grinder...they use everything but the oink.

 

[thinly_veiled]

If I were you I wouldnt bother trying to hard to pidgeon hole yourself under a "straight, gay or bisexual" label. It just gets frustrating, since I personally believe there are few people in this world that are solely straight or gay. Humans are just sexual beings, period..and most dont wander off into the grey territory due to social norms..etc.
Truthfully it sounds like you are curious. I would suggest exploring your feelings about this more, and if you find that you are comfortable, taking it to the next level. You will never know how you really feel untill you actually try it out. And in the meantime, try not to bombard yourself with thoughts of what is "normal" or not. Good luck sweety, and have fun in your self exploration. Its a beautiful thing.

 

[shiny5437]

njgirl

I kinda get the impression that there's less of a taboo about bisexual women than about bisexual men in our phallocentric society. Whilst a bi-guy may put some women off, i think a bi-lady might be a turn-on to some blokes. Maybe me included (I'm being reflective not letchy). Maybe a couple of ladies 'scissoring' isn't quite a 'graphic' act as two guys giving each other anal.

Dunno, I'm no expert, but just another angle on your dilemma. But be cool, think it through (but not too much) and remember good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.

All the best

 

[stockman35]

Swell answer, I think you covered it perfectly

 

[engaged_88]

I wouldn't worry too much about it; every girl thinks about it every now and then, and every girl has watched lesbian/bi porn at least once, and enjoyed it. It doesn't necessarily mean your're lesbian or bi; watching two women together is just plain hot. I watch it every now and then, and I'm with an incredible man with a completely fulfilling sex life. I also watch gay porn every now and then, but do I want to see my man with another man? No.

In short, watching lesbian/bi porn and feeling those desires in real life are two totally different things, and being turned on by two women together is completely natural. Don't worry about it.