How do i introduce femdom to my girlfriend?

[her property]

I feel submissive to her and want her to be in charge of our relationship. Sometimes this is known as "female-led relationship." I was thinking about giving her the book "Venus On Top" to break the ice. If only she knew the power she holds, i want to be her manslave for life but how do i tell her without turning her off?

 

[chris9]

Welcome to lit
You will have to talk to her about it. Very expicit probably (I know I had to talk way more direct than I wanted to to make my bf understand). And this has many dangers, felt and real. You might be worried about scaring her off with your desires. She might feel inadequate, worry about not having satisfied you so far. If the last is the case, giving her the book can go very wrong.
I would not advise to just give her the book (I don't know it, but I assume you read it and found it good at explaining), but to talk to her first, and if she expresses a wish to know more, give her the book, maybe some links to sites you found interesting...

To dealing with 'vanilla' partners there's a bit in the library. Here are the threads. You might also want to look at the 'topping from the bottom poll' thread as something along those lines was discussed.

Someone here (TealSphynx maybe?) said that to get used to domming, they started with short pre-set time frames, 'working' their way up.

Please keep in mind that being the Dominant in a relationship brings a whole lot of extra responsibility in the well-being not only of one's self, but of the partner and loved one, too. And not everyone is willing to take such a responsibility.

Talk, talk some more, communicate, and good luck!

 

[catalina_francisco]

You could also try a safe 'easy escape route' idea o showing her a story which incorporates it, with a statement something along the lines of 'it makes you hot reading it, how does she feel reading it?'. We have writtten a coule whcih you wll find links too through our profile (or signature)....and you will also find some I and others have recommended and linked in the Shameless Plug thread at the top of Cafe. Doing it in suc a way nmay not seem so verwhelming, and also give youa chance to see how she feels about it.

Catalina

 

[Hecate]

just a quick reply as I am pressured for time atm

may I just point you to two of my essays dealing with the topic on hand? it may or may not be suitable for your situation ...

'Nilla marriage turning BDSM
From 'Nilla with love

and another one written for a female POV question but maybe it gives you some ideas...

make hubby my slave ....?

Sorry to be so brief - feel free to PM me if you like.

Lady Hecate

 

[FurryFury]

may I just point you to two of my essays dealing with the topic on hand? it may or may not be suitable for your situation ...

'Nilla marriage turning BDSM
From 'Nilla with love

and another one written for a female POV question but maybe it gives you some ideas...

make hubby my slave ....?

Sorry to be so brief - feel free to PM me if you like.

Lady Hecate

Great stuff Lady Hecate!

I enjoyed reading them!

Thank you,

Fury

 

[Xelebes]

Nice to see you posting again, Hecate. And again, I mean by saying to see you post while I've been around here.

 

[*curious*]

A much more neutral (read: less threatening) book would be When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt [Greenery Press, Publishers]. You'd also need to actually talk to your girlfriend *always a good idea* rather than hiding behind the fiction of Masoch's book and hoping she "gets it". (Although I must confess I found Venus In Furs rather disturbing and unpleasant... )