How do I get beond "Just friends"?

[Jasdf]

Ok, heres the situation, I am a geeky guy, still in school, and I have no luck getting a girlfriend. I don't just mean that I want pussy (don't think I'm ready for that yet), but I would like to be friends with a girl. You know, hang out, go to the movies, kiss, that kind of stuff. I don't just repulse all the girls and send them running <grin>, infact, most of my friends are girls.
However, if I ever try to go any further with a girl, the friendship quickly fades.

Any advice?

P.S. Start with th3e basics, I am a socialy chalanged geek!

 

[Bruiser]

Have more confidence in yourself, if you are already friends with a girl it will be alot easier I would think to ask her out. You might be quite surprised, but you must have confidence in yourself. No advice can really help you JUST go for it!

And get off the porn on the internet your underage!

 

[Fallen Angel]

You are already halfway there.

You have a circle of friends that include several girls, just keep talking to them, suggest that you all go to movies that you know one or more of the girls will like, don't be pushy, just get them used to going places with you. After you pass this stage where they are comfortable with you in places other than school move on to asking them out to dances, proms etc.

Remember two things, one is that the being unsure about the dating and how to handle it, is not limited to just males. Two is that the more nervous and desperate you appear, the slimmer your chances of getting a real date.

Well I hope that this helps even if just to let you know that you aren't alone. College can be a real education

 

[Avatar]

Fallen Angel, just to go a bit further on:

"You have a circle of friends that include several girls, just keep talking to them, suggest that you all go to movies that you know one or more of the girls will like, don't be pushy, just get them used to going places with you."

In my opinion you have keep talking and susgesting/hinting.... but not anymore ...yet, that way if the feelings not mutual you haven't gone to far and you won't lose the friendship...

But if you reckon the vibes you're getting are good, then you gotta go a little further, in other words you gotta FLIRT!!! - and flirting is the supreme mark of confidence! its hard but if you want something bad enough you'll do anything right?

 

[Jasdf]

Who says I'm underage!

 

[Guest]

Well, first you have to know that not all of the girls who you will want to be with will want to be more than friends with you. About a month ago I exposed my feelings of more than just friendship to one of my best guy friends and his reaction was "If you are asking me out on a date the answer is no." Needless to say, I was crushed for a while, but now we are better friends than ever and I am starting out with a new guy. So just go with the flow and do what comes naturally.

 

[Cranberry_cola]

I hang out with bunch of friends who are mostly guys. Sometimes, when one of them tend to get more interested in me than just friendship, I'll know. From? One of the trusted loudmouths, i suppose. And that's where the initial "surprise/shock" passes. So no worries. I once helped a friend to go steady with another friend of mine. And, i also have a friend who didn't achieve quite the same results. But things turned out ok and they are still friends. Heck, sometimes we even made fun of the situation.

Eventhough your friends might play a part to help things going on for you, the most important thing is for you to make the chemistry work. Be yourself and it'll be fine.
Good luck!

[This message has been edited by cranberry_cola (edited 03-22-2000).]

 

[Firesprite]

I would like to offer a cautionary note..
I started dating my friend of 7 years, who I had liked for alot of that time.. It lasted off and on for about a year.. correction.. exactly 1 year, we first got together on my birthday, and the next birthday I asked him to come over for dinner and he stood me up.. when I called he said he had "found someone else". imagine the devastation of that.. I sent him a christmas e-card a few months later (my birthday was in August) waving the white flag and missing his friendship like crazy.. (but no longer in lust.. after all he was taken, and if my friends are happy, I am happy)(usually).. now its April... I think it is safe to say I lost a best friend by dating him.. and thats what I miss most of all.
Be Careful.

 

[Skitten]

I agree with everyone here. Relax just be yourself with your friends and talk and getting to know what you want with that one special person. Don't rush yourself or the other person get to know them and with your friends once you are relaxed with them you can move on to the next step. But always remember to be yourself, and everything else will fall into place it takes some time and patience just being close to that person and getting to know each other comes first then you can go on from there. Good-luck we all know how hard college can be have fun and enjoy.

skitten

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Women do not like needy.

Here's the advice I gave my sons and grandsons.

You can always buy pussy. And its all good.

But the optimal course of action is to get busy making YOU attractive to women. Get fit, get off the couch, dump the self absorption, start making money, get some ambition, if you look like crap clean your act up with some decent clothes-grooming-etc. Let them know youre available but not desperate.

Make yourself attractive and theyll find you.

 

[fire_breeze]

This thread has been dead for 13 years, and the OP hasn't been on Lit since 2008. Furthermore, in his last post, dated to 2004, has him mentioning that he went to a sex store with with girlfriend. I assume that he has figured out how to go 'beyond friends'.

Please do not resurrect dead threads.

 

[bailadora]

This thread has been dead for 13 years, and the OP hasn't been on Lit since 2008. Furthermore, in his last post, dated to 2004, has him mentioning that he went to a sex store with with girlfriend. I assume that he has figured out how to go 'beyond friends'.

Please do not resurrect dead threads.

You might as well be whistling "Dixie" into the wind, FB. He's trolling from the GB.

 

[fire_breeze]

You might as well be whistling "Dixie" into the wind, FB. He's trolling from the GB.

I just realised . Ah well... at least I know "Dixie" and now have that tune stuck in my head

(and thank you - it got rid of the other song that had me humming for a week)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This thread has been dead for 13 years, and the OP hasn't been on Lit since 2008. Furthermore, in his last post, dated to 2004, has him mentioning that he went to a sex store with with girlfriend. I assume that he has figured out how to go 'beyond friends'.

Please do not resurrect dead threads.

Someone died and put you in charge?

 

[bailadora]

Someone died and put you in charge?

Idiot.

Forum Guidelines. Number 9 - to be specific. By bumping these old threads, you ARE disrupting the forum.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Idiot.

Forum Guidelines. Number 9 - to be specific. By bumping these old threads, you ARE disrupting the forum.

I disrupt the forum by being someone you dislike from another board. So stop the blabbering and whining and grow up.

 

[bailadora]

I disrupt the forum by being someone you dislike from another board. So stop the blabbering and whining and grow up.

LOL! In order to dislike you, I'd have to have some kind of feeling towards you, which I don't. You're free to be as disagreeable as you like. Lit free speech and all that. Just as others are free to tell you they think you're acting like an ass. Ni modo.

The Forum Guidelines came down from the Big Chair, so if you've got a problem with them, take it up with Laurel or Manu.

 

[Aquagal]

This thread has been dead for 13 years, and the OP hasn't been on Lit since 2008. Furthermore, in his last post, dated to 2004, has him mentioning that he went to a sex store with with girlfriend. I assume that he has figured out how to go 'beyond friends'.

Please do not resurrect dead threads.

So I guess he's not underage anymore?

 

[wicked woman]

And here I'm thinking the OP has to BR at least 30 and he's still in school and can't get past the friend stage.

Wasted time on needlessly bumped thread.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

No dear, it isnt wasted, its a timeless issue.