How do I describe wobbling breasts... and areolas?

[blackstreetBBWlover]

Hey, BlackstreetBBWLover here. New to the site!

So as the title speaks for itself here, I could use a bit of help writing about boobs jiggling as well as the areolas and nipples. What I did in this thread was write about the scenerio in a short description and wrote it out in story-form in my best way possible but I know they could use improvement which is why I'm asking for assistance.

When a female has a U-neck top, she walks and her breasts take turns jiggling up and down (one breast goes up, the other goes donw):
-> As she walked, her larege succulent breasts took turns jiggling up and down in harmony with her walking.

When the female character is weaing a V-neck top and her big breasts are bulging from the neck of her top:
-> Her breasts were sexily bulged from the V-neck of her dress.

Descibing my favorite kinds of areolas (black, spots surrounding the centers):
-> Her creamy tar-black-colored areolas were about the diameter of coffee mugs, but shaped slightly as a horizontal oval with cracky skin as they featured smaller dots around each areola, making them appear as the sun's atmosphere.

Nipples (small, holes in the centers):
-> Despite having succulently large areolas, her nipples were no larger than the tip of an ink pen. They even featured needle-like holes in the centers.

Breasts (large, dot-like freckles):
-> Her succulently-large breasts featured tiny dot-like freckles all over.

This is where I REALLY am gonna need the help and this is for a rape scene I have planned in one of my first stories- so the female character's breasts are naked and completely exposed. To attack teh problem here, breasts are so... watery and jiggly. The look like milk is their one and only content but that's obviously not true. lol. And the skin is so... smooth...

Talented authors with writting skill much better than mine, your help is kindly requested in the most respectful way possible. There's no such thing as too much advice.

My mother as well as quite a few other people always told me I was a great writer. I hope that when I start posting stories to this site, my readers on this site would agree!

 

[DuckLover]

Wrong thread

This question would be much better to ask in the Author's Hangout thread. That's where you'll find lots of people with skill and experience in writing really good, hot sex scenes and descriptions.

The first thing I recommend, though, is that you proofread your work. You have extensive spelling errors and several grammar errors. Those are far more likely to disrupt your reader than an awkward description of breasts.

 

[SweetErika]

When a female has a U-neck top, she walks and her breasts take turns jiggling up and down (one breast goes up, the other goes donw):
-> As she walked, her larege succulent breasts took turns jiggling up and down in harmony with her walking.

A "scoop neck top," right? I'm thinking you could benefit from a female editor and/or beta reader who knows the lingo.

As for the sentence, I own large breasts, and mine certainly don't move like that, especially when they're contained within a bra (which is whenever I'm out). Yes, they jiggle a little, but they certainly don't move in the cartoonish fashion you're describing. And you don't need to say walk(ing) twice in once sentence or paragraph.

When the female character is weaing a V-neck top and her big breasts are bulging from the neck of her top:
-> Her breasts were sexily bulged from the V-neck of her dress.

"Were bulging sexily" would be better.

Descibing my favorite kinds of areolas (black, spots surrounding the centers):
-> Her creamy tar-black-colored areolas were about the diameter of coffee mugs, but shaped slightly as a horizontal oval with cracky skin as they featured smaller dots around each areola, making them appear as the sun's atmosphere.

Nipples (small, holes in the centers):
-> Despite having succulently large areolas, her nipples were no larger than the tip of an ink pen. They even featured needle-like holes in the centers.

Breasts (large, dot-like freckles):
-> Her succulently-large breasts featured tiny dot-like freckles all over.

Oh my. Are you positive all of this description is necessary to your story? A lot of things are best left to the imaginations of your readers, and, frankly, your descriptions sound really odd and forced - enough so that I'd click the Back button after reading them.

Again, I'd suggest a really good editor and some beta readers who will make no bones about suggesting revisions and deletions.

This is where I REALLY am gonna need the help and this is for a rape scene I have planned in one of my first stories- so the female character's breasts are naked and completely exposed. To attack teh problem here, breasts are so... watery and jiggly. The look like milk is their one and only content but that's obviously not true. lol. And the skin is so... smooth...

It sounds like they're soft (perfect for grabbing roughly?), she has a milky complexion, the skin feels silky smooth, etc. Don't describe them as "watery" or similar. You could say something like, "slapping one sent a ripple of waves throughout her breast; this fascinated him." IOW, use actions to make your descriptions.

 

[NippleMuncher]

The first thing I recommend, though, is that you proofread your work. You have extensive spelling errors and several grammar errors. Those are far more likely to disrupt your reader than an awkward description of breasts.

X2!!!

I'd also suggest doing some people watching to see how breasts really move, because I've never seen what you're describing, and trust me when I say I NOTICE BREASTS! Take a journal with you when you're people watching and make descriptive notes of body movement, walking style, cleavage display and movement in a revealing top.

Good luck.

 

[SweetErika]

X2!!!

I'd also suggest doing some people watching to see how breasts really move, because I've never seen what you're describing, and trust me when I say I NOTICE BREASTS! Take a journal with you when you're people watching and make descriptive notes of body movement, walking style, cleavage display and movement in a revealing top.

Good luck.

Excellent suggestion, NM!

 

[blackstreetBBWlover]

This question would be much better to ask in the Author's Hangout thread. That's where you'll find lots of people with skill and experience in writing really good, hot sex scenes and descriptions.

The first thing I recommend, though, is that you proofread your work. You have extensive spelling errors and several grammar errors. Those are far more likely to disrupt your reader than an awkward description of breasts.

Ducklover, I spotted the How To first and this thread is about how to describe things so i thought this was the best place for my thread. A mod will move it if they don't like where this is.

A "scoop neck top," right? I'm thinking you could benefit from a female editor and/or beta reader who knows the lingo.

As for the sentence, I own large breasts, and mine certainly don't move like that, especially when they're contained within a bra (which is whenever I'm out). Yes, they jiggle a little, but they certainly don't move in the cartoonish fashion you're describing. And you don't need to say walk(ing) twice in once sentence or paragraph.

"Were bulging sexily" would be better.

Oh my. Are you positive all of this description is necessary to your story? A lot of things are best left to the imaginations of your readers, and, frankly, your descriptions sound really odd and forced - enough so that I'd click the Back button after reading them.

Again, I'd suggest a really good editor and some beta readers who will make no bones about suggesting revisions and deletions.

It sounds like they're soft (perfect for grabbing roughly?), she has a milky complexion, the skin feels silky smooth, etc. Don't describe them as "watery" or similar. You could say something like, "slapping one sent a ripple of waves throughout her breast; this fascinated him." IOW, use actions to make your descriptions.

Erika, I've personally seen breasts jiggle in a cartoonish fasion like that. I'm not saying ALL women's breasts do that, or those of big-breasted women for that matter but I've seen that happen and I find it sexy which is why I will be desribing that in my stories quite a few times.

And another thing, imagery is the key to making a story the bomb. Or I personally prefer imagery in my stories and I like to write so that the readers can see things based on my depictions of the scene.

And yes Erika, I do feel that the desciptions are nessasary for my scenes.

X2!!!

I'd also suggest doing some people watching to see how breasts really move, because I've never seen what you're describing, and trust me when I say I NOTICE BREASTS! Take a journal with you when you're people watching and make descriptive notes of body movement, walking style, cleavage display and movement in a revealing top.

Good luck.

Well, trust ME when I say... I've seen sexy women with amazingly large boobs and they do wobble around with they walk. MAN was I fascinated! I do keep a journal for my writing BTW.

Thanks for the suggestions guys!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Well, trust ME when I say... I've seen sexy women with amazingly large boobs and they do wobble around with they walk. MAN was I fascinated! I do keep a journal for my writing BTW.

Thanks for the suggestions guys!

When a female has a U-neck top, she walks and her breasts take turns jiggling up and down (one breast goes up, the other goes donw):
-> As she walked, her larege succulent breasts took turns jiggling up and down in harmony with her walking.

Yes, the larger they are the more they tend to move around, but unless those suckers are attached to her knees, I've never seen them alternately bounce up and down, they both move at the same time in the same direction.

 

[SweetErika]

Ducklover, I spotted the How To first and this thread is about how to describe things so i thought this was the best place for my thread. A mod will move it if they don't like where this is.



Erika, I've personally seen breasts jiggle in a cartoonish fasion like that. I'm not saying ALL women's breasts do that, or those of big-breasted women for that matter but I've seen that happen and I find it sexy which is why I will be desribing that in my stories quite a few times.

And another thing, imagery is the key to making a story the bomb. Or I personally prefer imagery in my stories and I like to write so that the readers can see things based on my depictions of the scene.

And yes Erika, I do feel that the desciptions are nessasary for my scenes.



Well, trust ME when I say... I've seen sexy women with amazingly large boobs and they do wobble around with they walk. MAN was I fascinated! I do keep a journal for my writing BTW.

Thanks for the suggestions guys!

It's looking an awful lot like you were seeking validation, rather than the suggestions/feedback you requested in your OP. If that's the case, fine, but you need to state your true intent upfront so people don't waste their time giving you something you don't genuinely want.

Regarding imagery use: It's all well and good when the right amount is used with a deft hand. Too much gets tiresome very quickly and you need to be able to describe things in ways that both make sense and will likely be relateable and pleasing to your readers. You failed on those counts in the examples you gave, IMO.

 

[Eilan]

Will you be submitting your story under Humor and Satire?

 

[blackstreetBBWlover]

Will you be submitting your story under Humor and Satire?

Don't plan on it. I do have a story in the Erotic Horror category which I hope to finish and submit in time for Halloween