How do I attract subs/slaves online?

[TheSlashMaster]

Hey everyone, first off, I'd like to advise you all that the 'slash' part of my username, does not denote a slashing or blood fetish of any sort. It is an old account that I made ages ago without actually being aware of the BDSM community.

Now, as for my problem, I'm a Dom and I really want to be a Master, I know that for a fact. I love being in control, and just the thought of completely controlling another person does wonders to my libido.

However, the problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to reel in a potential submissive partner or slave online...

I've tried being casual, like on a dating site, and though that method worked for a few, our chats never really lasted very long, nor did they seem entirely interested.

On the other, I've also tried being more dominant as well, and though I may have gotten more responses, they wouldn't stay for very long either.

I feel as though maybe it was because I was being too intimidating, or maybe moving too fast in trying to get them to submit? I have no idea.

Any help guys?

 

[MeekMe]

Typically, treating a potential partner like a person works. Having interests beyond sex and kink is also a plus. Being an interesting person helps.

I could easily find a dude that wants to tell me what to do for him sexually. That's so easy it's hardly a qualification. What do you have to offer? What makes you better than all the other horny dudes looking for a blowjob on demand?

Perhaps you should stop "trying to get them to submit" to you. If they actually want to submit to you, they will. If a dude I had only talked to a few times started demanding things from me, I'd give him the boot quick.

Treat them like people you are dating.

 

[Blue]

_____

 

[SlutAddicted]

Similar vein to what others have stated.......

Set aside the Dom part for a moment and substitute plain old horny guy sex then read it back to yourself. " Oh I just wanna fuck some horny slut. Tell me how to reel her in."

Well you could try manipulation which rarely works and I'm guessing even more rarely so with something as intimate and trust dependent as a D's dynamic. So maybe trying building trust based on an actual sincere interest in what she needs. Yes she may want to cede authority but only to someone who actually cares about her and what she craves.

Being a Dom does involve being in control but not solely for your own benefit. Learn the difference between Dom and garden variety asshole.

 

[GrrlFriday]

You have one post and nothing in your profile. Women you are potentially interested in don't know you from a bar of soap.

 

[midwestyankee]

You have one post and nothing in your profile. Women you are potentially interested in don't know you from a bar of soap.

They do know that the bar of soap doesn't suffer from delusions of grandeur.

 

[divacarolina]

also as with vanilla, it would probably help to put yourself out there instead of just saying what you want. self-possessed people are more fuckable. the OP sort of just reads as 'what do i have to do to get laid'. when someone really knows themselves and their desires, that's hotter than 'i'll do anything! please just let me tie you up!'

 

[MsChele]

I include my desire for submission in that "third date" area of talking about sex with a potential partner. I've tried vanilla relationships and they just don't work for me. Life is short, I find being honest about my needs is the best bet.

 

[Christobal]

Ever been to a munch? You eat and meet people with like interests. These ladies aren't some fuck toys to be played with.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Talk about your vision for the sort of relationship you'd love to cultivate, and get feedback.

I always think of a good D/s relationship as a two-person project, like the world's coolest grownup science project. (I'm not smart or resourceful enough to have all the good ideas.) You arrive at a common vision, you divvy up the tasks according to each person's strengths and interests, you adjust as it goes along and ... WHOOSH! You get to see the tabletop volcano explode!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Ever been to a munch? You eat and meet people with like interests. These ladies aren't some fuck toys to be played with.

But sometimes we are.

 

[MeekMe]

Ever been to a munch? You eat and meet people with like interest.

The part in the title that says "online" is kind of key here. Munches are cool for some people, but not for all.

With that said, I'm not planning to go to a munch. It doesn't do anything for me. I know about local events, munches and dungeons, but I won't be attending. This particular person wants an online relationship, and that's fine. Munch, meetup, whateverthefuck is not necessary here.

 

[MeekMe]

(I'm not smart or resourceful enough to have all the good ideas.)

My lady bits say otherwise.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

My lady bits say otherwise.

Researchers continue to find that comprehensive life-success calls for the robust development of emotional intelligence, social intelligence and lady bits intelligence.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

My lady bits say otherwise.

Mine concur.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Y'all's lady bits are my new fave pundits.

 

[jm1993]

well there's been some really good responses here. I hardly think I am capable of offering anything that hasn't already been said in some way shape or form, but I think CascadiaBound thought I had died. So I'll make an attempt at a response since this is a post that reverberates with me. Granted I'm a guy, and so I'm not sure if me being a homosexual male sub looking for another guy alters the way things are done. I don't know if there's things that would work for me that wouldn't work for a lovely female sub. But I'll take a stab at it. Right now if I wanted to, I could go online and meet a "Dom" who wanted to boss me around and it would last until he orgasmed and then it'd be over. If you want something lasting, don't force it. Connections built on sex will fade with sexual drive. Right now I'm pursuing things with a dominant guy who I met on a non-bdsm site. Which was a first for me. Early on we established that I was a very serious submissive, someone who wanted it as an active part of my relationship. And that he was dominant and experienced with kink in the bedroom. And after that it didn't get mentioned for a while. It was all about getting to know each other. A bit of BDSM philosophy that I picked up from BDSM Tumblr blogs: Submissives hold more power than they're given credit for sometimes. They choose to submit. They give up the power to their dominant partner each and every time. Because at the end of the day, you cannot make someone do something. They must consent to doing it, no matter what it is. So I guess my advice to you is to be yourself. Don't be this macho dom. Look at it as a normal relationship with a bit of a twist. Treat them as a prospective partner. And with luck, maybe one day you'll find a person who likes you and wants to submit to you.

 

[cascadiabound]

well there's been some really good responses here. I hardly think I am capable of offering anything that hasn't already been said in some way shape or form, but I think CascadiaBound thought I had died. So I'll make an attempt at a response since this is a post that reverberates with me.
Great to see you jm
And I was pretty sure you were just snowed under with school stuff. But it is reassuring to see you post... And wisdom too!
[Snip]
It was all about getting to know each other. A bit of BDSM philosophy that I picked up from BDSM Tumblr blogs: Submissives hold more power than they're given credit for sometimes. They choose to submit. They give up the power to their dominant partner each and every time. Because at the end of the day, you cannot make someone do something. They must consent to doing it, no matter what it is. So I guess my advice to you is to be yourself. Don't be this macho dom. Look at it as a normal relationship with a bit of a twist. Treat them as a prospective partner. And with luck, maybe one day you'll find a person who likes you and wants to submit to you.

Bold portion above for emphasis... I like this phrase "a normal relationship with a bit of a twist.
Kisses jm. Thanks for your perspective here.

 

[richard_daily]

Hey everyone, first off, I'd like to advise you all that the 'slash' part of my username, does not denote a slashing or blood fetish of any sort. It is an old account that I made ages ago without actually being aware of the BDSM community.

Now, as for my problem, I'm a Dom and I really want to be a Master, I know that for a fact. I love being in control, and just the thought of completely controlling another person does wonders to my libido.

However, the problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to reel in a potential submissive partner or slave online...

I've tried being casual, like on a dating site, and though that method worked for a few, our chats never really lasted very long, nor did they seem entirely interested.

On the other, I've also tried being more dominant as well, and though I may have gotten more responses, they wouldn't stay for very long either.

I feel as though maybe it was because I was being too intimidating, or maybe moving too fast in trying to get them to submit? I have no idea.

Any help guys?

There's a lot of information missing... but I'm going to go out on a limb.

It sounds like perhaps you're not interested in people as people, which to some women is hot, but having a lack of experience probably isn't as hot to those same women.

You're going to have to fumble through it and learn what it is that you're missing, if you're having trouble attracting the women you're desiring.