How did you discover your kink?

[Curio465]

How did you discover your kink?

Not sure if this counts as a kink or not but for me I started to notice that I found girls wearing chokers more attractive than when they weren't, it took me a while to narrow it down to that being the reason.

I also found my taste in porn gravitated more and more towards girls getting dominated, to girls getting fucked with machines (they were always bound somehow), and then I began to realize my tastes revolved around submissive girls (or girls that become willingly overpowered) that lose themselves to submission and pleasure.

My preferences eventually started to merge into my sex life with binding, toys, choking and use of mj (all consensual).

So I guess for me it's someone giving me complete trust to play with, to choke and to control for the pursuit of pleasure.

So how did you discover your kink?

 

[IrisAlthea]

As always with these topics, be careful when mentioning age.

I noticed how I reacted to scenes in movies and books.
It came out in my reactions in sexual situations too, when I started being in those.
I sometimes wonder how it would have worked out for me, if I’d grown up with the internet, places like this, etc.

 

[Strixaluco]

For some odd reason I started reading the thread Daddy's Little Girl on this forum, although I had no idea that such a dynamic as DDlg even exists. I recognised myself in those discussions and memes. Hadn't ever run across anything like that before in my 43 years of life, of such care.

I was definitely yearning to be taken care of. I was much more unsure about how much domination I might like or be ok with. Stories showed me some, but reality has already proved my limits don't lie quite where I though they would. Luckily the rest of the exploration I can do IRL.

 

[IrisAlthea]

A moderator here didn't scold me for it, but she edited one of my postings for mentioning xxx

And there you go doing it again?!

 

[IrisAlthea]

I meant to compliment you on the caution offered in your posting, and I did learn my lesson

Thank you, for the compliment.

I’m European and old, so I get that it takes some thinking before you type, but out of respect for the people hosting the site for free and the mods volunteering to
do clean up, I think it is worth some extra thought to avoid using numbers lower than 18 in these tales.
I’d appreciate if you would edit a bit more.

 

[Curio465]

This topic has been derailed somewhat.

People can state their answer without disclosing ages just like how I mentioned things in a certain order without age ranges.

I don't want to cause issue, but it is a question that's on topic that can be answered without the issue of violating forum rules and guidelines.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I don't want to cause issue, but it is a question that's on topic that can be answered without the issue of violating forum rules and guidelines

Yes, I’m sorry! It can and should. It’s just that it tends to end with whole tgreads getting pulled off board.

I can delete my answers to @chiquitito if you like, now that they edited.

 

[PaxNurgle]

It came from watching a documentary on TV (HBO or one of those premium channels) about a BDSM-themed dungeon in New York City, and I was with a really hot girl (who, alas, I never got romantically involved with.) I was surprised on how turned on I was by what I saw, and began to imagine that girl in a tight, skimpy outfit tieing me up, spanking me and doing all kinds of things I won't mention. Coupled with me being a "love to please" kind of guy, it was a feeling more powerful than any sexual fantasy I had ever had. It was like the pandora was let out of the box, as far as kinks and submissive desires.

Sometimes I wish I could stuff it back in.

And yes, for the record, I was a legal adult in my 20's at the time.

 

[Goldenfinger]

It was more of a development than a discovery.

 

[seela]

I had known I found certain things that I’d seen from movies, books etc. very titillating. Like rough sex, humiliation and so on. I didn’t know why I liked it or what it was really called, and it didn’t feel important to know either. In hindsight I’ve often wondered how odd it is that liking those things never felt wrong or weird to me until much later in life when I already had pretty decent BDSM mileage under my belt.

My first real boyfriend had the words and knew what was what. He brought up that he was into some BDSM things and I was like hey, yes, me too, didn’t know that’s what it’s called! He gave me the words, we explored together and it developed from there.

I really lucked out with him and boyfriend #2, because both people just magically were into the same things I was and we could do all sorts of things even though I never looked for someone into those things.

 

[Lady2020]

I'm not sure. I think I was researching bdsm since the Dom I was chatting with didn't seem to know much about it. Anyway, one day an article discussed cock worshipping. I thought what's that about. That was kind of a duh what a dumbfuck moment. I'd been doing it and didn't know it.

 

[Strixaluco]

And yes. If I'd understood then what I know now, things would have been different.

Internet has been there for a good while, yet I only found my kink this year - because I didn't realise I should be looking.

Had I known 20-25 years ago, my life would have been different, too.

 

[Dawggyworld]

Prison I read aloud of penthouse letters an found my kink in them

 

[Wonderer67]

I learned a lot of it here and porn. Was going thru a bad sexless marriage and I would spend my alone time thinking about sex and just horny.

In the last 10-15 years, I would never have thought I’d be interested in submissive activities, such as being spanked, humiliated, pegged, being peed on, chastity/orgasm control by my current wife.

Some of these (esp water sports and chastity) I never would have thought in a million years, would be interesting. Now I love them. We all change.

 

[IrisAlthea]

This. Before the modern Internet, available porn/erotica basically consisted of videos and magazines, which you had to buy from an actual living human being, and some of those stored were hardly friendly and inviting. The difference between then and now, when it's possible to find a million images, thousands of pages of erotica, and psychological studies for any remotely mainstream kink in about 0.002456 seconds, is colossal.

And yes. If I'd understood then what I know now, things would have been different.

Different, both for better and for worse I think.

Part of me shudders a bit at he thought of being young and having to find my own tastes among tumbler gloss, tentacle porn and ”twue subs/doms”.

I was lucky enough though, to grow up with good sex ed, un-censored libraries and around grown ups with interesting and avaliable book shelves.
I also had/have a tolerance for long texts, so I read the Hite Reports, Masters and Johnson, Kinsey, Nancy Friday’s books about sex fantasies along with a lot of ”interesting” fiction.
Like seela, I was lucky enough to find some good partners to explore with and one of my first boyfriends worked extra at a cinema that showed porn, so I got way more porn literate than most girls my age, watching from the back rooms while he worked.

I do know that a lot of people were and would be essentialy without any access to this kind of information or the possibility to find people to talk and explore with without the Internet, so I can absolutely see the positive side too.

Sadly I think the positive sides may be a short parenthesis in the history of information, because in the end I’m afraid that it is going to be a loosing battle to keep the Internet free and open enough to act as a source of information many would otherwise have a hard time to access.

 

[Primalex]

Death Wish 2 and The Evil Dead

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I was legally an adult (everyone should be pleased to know!). I had an encounter with a guy (crossed wires, I think we both had different expectations of each other). He was very rough and abusive, to the point where I felt it was very borderline consensual, and I didn't enjoy much of it.

On reflection after, I replayed some of it in my head and the parts where he verbally humiliated/degraded me, in retrospect, became quite exciting, to the point where I started seeking it out. It doesn't happen a lot, and not all men are good at it, but when things come together it really does things to me on a whole other level.

 

[Baldo_bearded]

Several of my kinks were brought abiut by a particular lady in old kik video chats. We connected through messaging and did the usual setting, but would occasionally call when we had free time and she would make requests or demands of me.

I learned I was into more things than I thought just by her telling me to do them. It was a turn on also being submissive.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Prison I read aloud of penthouse letters an found my kink in them

whats your kink?

 

[Dawggyworld]

whats your kink?

Cheating wives

 

[2tallpaul]

Mine started in college with a controlling girlfriend that had me as a sorority big brother. She had me performing on women that had bad dates and liked to watch as she would lend me out. Everything from bondage to group sex, sex toys, pegging and being fully shaved. We parted ways because I wouldn't do men on men.

After a bad divorce I met a woman that said she would rock my world and I'm back at it. After a FMF threeway that went for months, the women added another male and I found out I was bi. I've always been a gentleman and a sub, so finding women that bring it out in me is where I've found my kink.

 

[2small4Mrs]

SPH is my kink. Didn't know anything about it until my tipsy wife clumsily told me that i was her smallest while we were fucking. I immediately shot my load and craved it ever since.

 

[quicksylver69]

Mine started when I watched movers or read books with rough sex or rape scenes. Rather than being disgusted by it like I was *supposed* to be, I was turned on. Then I discovered porn and all the kinky stuff that people do. Then finally I discovered fetlife and was able to actually experience it

 

[Riverboy72]

The best way to find your kink is to be willing to try new things. Have an open mind and explore the wonderful world of sexuality.

Just go with the flow and see what happens!. never say no to some nipple clamps!

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

How did you discover your kink?

So how did you discover your kink?

Umm depends which one? They came at the same time or as life had gone on