So how did you become sexual? Do you think it was your genes? Upbringing? Exposed to it in an early or late change in life? Some people never seem to even care about sex. Im curious how and why we become the way we are . For me i've always been very sexual.For as long as i can rememeber , a high sex drive and my mind is still there. Sometimes i wish i wasn't ,so i could focus on more things. To me it's been in my genes. Thoughts?
How did we become sexual minded ?
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Zeb_Carter
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The question should be how is it that everyone isn't laying around having sex all the time? Sex is in the genes of every animal on the planet earth, no matter what your wife tells you.
We have been this sexual animal from before we crawled out to the primordial ooze. Man is driven to procreate, that means having sex. Sex, sex, sex, with as many women as possible. It wasn't until women became stingy about sharing their men that sex was hidden away in the bedroom with a single partner. Yet even today, men and women cheat on their spouses.
The sexual drive is an imperative to make new humans that look just like you. That it's pleasurable is the great gift from whoever created us.
We have been this sexual animal from before we crawled out to the primordial ooze. Man is driven to procreate, that means having sex. Sex, sex, sex, with as many women as possible. It wasn't until women became stingy about sharing their men that sex was hidden away in the bedroom with a single partner. Yet even today, men and women cheat on their spouses.
The sexual drive is an imperative to make new humans that look just like you. That it's pleasurable is the great gift from whoever created us.
jehoram
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Yeah, I'd agree with that. Since the sex drive is ingrained in us, maybe the question should be "When did we start to incorporate our sexuality into our social lives?" For most of us, that was when we started dating, and trying to figure out how we related to people based on our sexual attractions. (For those of us who needed to deal with homophobic or sexually restrictive cultures, it may have been a lot harder.) Later on, there came the prospect of using our sexuality to be the basis of a commitment to a partner and later a family, since having kids is often the ultimate expression of a sexual union.
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Stillrandy
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For me, my sexual activity/drive was intertwined with and an integral part of being married. It was just sort of 'what was normal'. Years later, after divorce and the arrival of the internet, I came to realize there was a lot more to sex than something that occurred occasionally and in the context of the marriage. Now, late in life, it is almost something vicarious, but the deep feelings, once arisen, are quite powerful. I'm not 'blaming it' on the internet (or Literotica), but am thankful for those vehicles that awakened for me.
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quietlylooking
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I definitely think that some people are wired (genetically pre-dispositioned) to be more sexual than others, for better or worse.
slutindianwife
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Eve had a cunt. Adam had a dick.
We became sexually minded.
We became sexually minded.
L
Lady2020
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It was after my divorce. I had a choice. Keep believing the evangelical way of life was true or say wtaf.
This is what i was trying to get across. There are people that are more in sexual than others? Why? where ? A lot of good replies. I think a lot of it is up bringing, product of your environment.
Zeb_Carter
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I don't really think that's true. I think everyone is driven about the same, it's just the some are more successful than others. Besides, I think the person that brags about there conquests isn't all that successful, at least not as successful as he/she brags about.
And it's all about the continuation of the species and spreading the genes around and trying to make sure your genes are the ones that win.
And in the beginning old Grunt the caveman wasn't all that good looking, but he could provide for his chosen mate and made her feel good while he raped her in the back of his man cave.
KatieDoes
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I think being interested in sex and being sexual as adults is our natural state, with some varying levels, of course. I believe that most people that are not interested in sex lost interest with cause. Some, due to being taught that it was wrong and shameful as part of their upbringing. Some, due to various methods of abuse and exploitation that forced them to shut that part of themselves off for self preservation. I believe that if everyone were fortunate enough to have had all positive experiences with their sexuality, they would be free to enjoy their natural primal instincts.
Hipshot1554
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Early positive or negative experiences may also play a part.
Good points, so how to you change this ? Get someone to try new things ?
ericalauren
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I'm asexual, and I've never been sexually-minded. (If I'm understanding what you're asking.)
KatieDoes
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Why does someone need to try new things? Maybe they’re satisfied with the things they’re currently doing?
lanceGibs
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If you are satisfied,kudos.
By nature man craves newer adventures or so we have learned.
Nothing wrong in being adventures.
KatieDoes
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Unless your new adventures require you to convince another person to do something they aren’t comfortable with. Which is what he‘s asking for advice on.
Hipshot1554
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If it ain't broke, don't fix it?
lanceGibs
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You can't make people do things they are not comfortable
I am with you.
KatieDoes
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Some of that, yes…If it ain't broke, don't fix it?
But a lot: a LOT of people here complain about how their partner won’t relax and open up and let their freak flag fly….. while also being here posting intimate secrets about that person in a public forum. Women, particularly, have to feel connected and safe to risk the vulnerability that‘s required to let their guard down and have kinky sex. So when I see men here panting after anything with a cunt and a pulse, talking about women as objects, putting their wants above the needs of their alleged life partner… then complaining about how that partner doesn’t want to fuck them? Yeah. Ya think?
HashtagNotAllMen, of course… there are good people here that are in sexless relationships for lots of valid and insurmountable reasons. Illness, be it medical or mental, medications, trauma, can all lead to lack of sex. But humans crave intimacy as part of our nature. When people are connected and safe and able to trust in their partner, they want intimacy with them, too. If they aren’t valued and respected, why would they trust enough to be intimate and vulnerable?
lanceGibs
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Hipshot1554
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Zeb_Carter
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So, absolutely nothing turns you on? You have never masturbated?
KatieDoes
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Maybe some relationships aren’t meant to be. Maybe some are just meant to be different.
People can love each other and also not be sexually compatible. There are lots of reasons to choose to stay with a partner, and sex is only one one aspect of a relationship.
Ideally, we’d all be emotionally secure and capable of granting enthusiastic consent to letting the people we love and aren’t 100% compatible with sexually find the things that are missing with other relationships.
Just as the friends that I camp with and the friends that I attend the symphony with aren’t usually the same friends, they’re all important and valuable to me.
So in a perfect* world, I’d be able to enjoy the sexual acts that my husband enjoys with him. While also getting the things I crave that he isn’t into, from a friend in a similar situation, guilt free.
* the world is not perfect, and I haven’t figured out how to pull that off. But I’m also not going to try to convince or coerce my husband into doing things he’s opposed to.
People can love each other and also not be sexually compatible. There are lots of reasons to choose to stay with a partner, and sex is only one one aspect of a relationship.
Ideally, we’d all be emotionally secure and capable of granting enthusiastic consent to letting the people we love and aren’t 100% compatible with sexually find the things that are missing with other relationships.
Just as the friends that I camp with and the friends that I attend the symphony with aren’t usually the same friends, they’re all important and valuable to me.
So in a perfect* world, I’d be able to enjoy the sexual acts that my husband enjoys with him. While also getting the things I crave that he isn’t into, from a friend in a similar situation, guilt free.
* the world is not perfect, and I haven’t figured out how to pull that off. But I’m also not going to try to convince or coerce my husband into doing things he’s opposed to.
jehoram
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I'd like a perfect world like that, where I can enjoy sex with somebody I'm not married to, just as I can camp or play music or or attend the symphony with people I'm not married to. And my wife can play cards, or see a movie, or have sex with somebody, whether I'm there or not. As for trying to figure out how to pull that off, I think that's one of the benefits of our brand of erotica: we can create this world in our heads, and let other people live in that world, too, and maybe -- just maybe -- think about how to put those worlds together.
uncle easy
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I was a very curious lad,,, and the more I learned the more I wanted to know. I entered the military on my seventeenth birthday and really met some hotties here and there. All of them were older than I and thought me many things. Great life. Enough said!
