How can you mend a broken heart?

[sxylilslut]

Mine, evidently, but also my girlfriend's. To make a long story short, we were having a Top/bottom relationship in which I was the Top. An obviously inexperienced top; lately I've been paying less and less attention to her and she wrote me an email. In it she was playful but somehow I misunderstood that playfulness and took it as arrogance. I wrote her a reply telling her how disrespectful she was, how she had to apologize and know her place.

Now she tells me she doesn't deserve to be with me, that what she did was not repairable and that she had better say goodbye. I am totally lost as to what to say to comfort her and to keep her. I never felt that shattered before and am lost as to how to apologize to her. Is it too late to patch things up?

 

[KarenDee]

...lately I've been paying less and less attention to her and she wrote me an email. In it she was playful but somehow I misunderstood that playfulness and took it as arrogance.

I would pretty much cut and paste this statement here and send it to her in an e-mail, along with your apology. If you can open your heart to us this way, you have the capability to express yourself to her as well. Please don't wait...do it now. Time only makes the gap between you grow wider. She may be thinking the same thoughts as you, but may have less courage to come to you and say she's sorry too. By taking the initiative, you make it easier for her to open herself to you.

 

[Guest]

 

[M's girl]

Excellent response KarenDee.

I would also keep the email short and offer an invitation to get together to discuss it. I find it very hard to read emotion in emails; body language, tone of voice, manner of presentation tell me a lot more.

So true.... and proved in this case also.... that's where it all went wrong... misintrepertation!

 

[ratatoskov]

my 2 cents

ditto what everyone has said
try to get a face to face meeting as soon as you can

meet her someplace neutral, that is not her place, your place, or some place where you normally go and do things together.
that way neither of you will be at a disadvantage, or perceive that the toher is trying to use the place to her advantage.
mike

 

[Cathleen]

Ditto on the above. Especially the part of your inattention and your misinterpretation of her email.

I also wonder if she wants to be in the relationship. She was quick to let it go instead of addressing the situation openly. It certainly isn't unrepairable at all. It's a matter of the mode of communication getting in the way.

I hope you both can talk with each other and express your feelings clearly.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Ahhhh the internet. So wonderous, so convenient and so unemotional. E-mail has it's drawbacks, and the big one is that it strips all emotion and nuances of speech from a message. This I have learned, can cause problems to those of us prone to sarcasm and communication through facial expressions.

I hope you are able to get her to listen and patch things up. I'd hate to see a relationship fall apart because of something like this.

 

[rwattsIII]

i know that one.....

The Bee Gees's, right?

 

[Scepter]

The Bee Gees's, right?

And after I go all day trying to avoid mentioning the Bee Gees!

 

[sxylilslut]

How can you stop the rain from falling down?... Yes it is of course the Bee Gees. And if you're like me you probably will have this song stuck in your head for days! Thanks for the tips; I met with my girlfriend yesterday and we talked it over. She felt abandoned because I wasn't spending as much time with her as I used to and since she's a somewhat insecure person she wanted to avoid the pain of me letting her go so she thought by leaving first it would be for the best. Relationships take so much work! Anyway we were able to patch things up and I feel better now. Thanks!

 

[Cathleen]

That's nice news.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Indeed that is wonderful. Relationships take work? HA, ain't that the truth.

Trust me though, in the end it's worth it.