How can this happen

[DeYaKen]

I have just decided to edit the first story I ever posted, and have had the edited version rejected for the following reason.

"Please fix the punctuation of your dialogue. The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions."

I have not changed the dialogue punctuation in anyway from the original which was accepted. I have corrected some tenses and slightly re written the end to make it fit characters better.

If the second version is unacceptably bad then the first version should also be removed. I am all for improving quality but you must be consistent. As for the advice to use a volunteer editor? The chance would be a fine thing. I've been trying to find a reliable editor for nearly a year now without success. I've had a few offers but they don't get around to starting or they find they are too committed to continue.

The story in question was Secrets and Lies chapter 2. The edited version of chapter 1 is now up and available to all

I'm sorry for all those readers who will have to make do with the inferior ending but I don't have the time to keep rewriting the same story. If anyone else is interested in doing the job I'll email it to them. In the mean time I expect Manu and Lauren will read the original and take that down because it REALLY does have some gaffs in it.

 

[PennLady]

If the story is up, I doubt they'll take it down unless it's reported for breaking a site rule like underage sex -- and it doesn't break the rules, right?

Best thing is probably to resubmit with a note explaining what happened, and maybe also send a PM to Laurel about it. She reads a lot of stories, and glitches happen. A couple of years ago I had Ch 3 of a story rejected b/c she said you had to submit Chs 1-2 first. They'd already been up for a couple of weeks. So I resubmitted with that in the notes, and no problem.

 

[lovecraft68]

Like Pennlady said, I doubt they will touch the one that is up there. Although I'm wondering if perhaps the first one should have been rejected and was missed.

But there are a lot of weirdness hat happens for instance I had a chapter to rejected for saying I already had a story up with that title, when I didn't.

 

[sr71plt]

The sit editor (manually, she says and there's only one) looks at upwards of 100 stories a day, every day of the year. Is it a mystery that she only spot checks for an issue like this? Are you not getting your money's worth?

Are you quibbling with the guidance now on your dialogue? If so, and you don't think it's not in compliance with the standard given here (which is American usage, by way, so if you've written British style, it may not be wrong, just not what is used here), feel free to post a few lines of the dialogue of your work and maybe someone can further explain what the problem might be.

 

[DeYaKen]

The sit editor (manually, she says and there's only one) looks at upwards of 100 stories a day, every day of the year. Is it a mystery that she only spot checks for an issue like this? Are you not getting your money's worth?

Are you quibbling with the guidance now on your dialogue? If so, and you don't think it's not in compliance with the standard given here (which is American usage, by way, so if you've written British style, it may not be wrong, just not what is used here), feel free to post a few lines of the dialogue of your work and maybe someone can further explain what the problem might be.

I used the the names Manu and Lauren because that is how the feedback was signed. If indeed it is one person only then I can only say that to use two names is somewhat confusing.

Am I not getting my money's worth. Well no actually I am not. I invest significant amounts of time in each story and get zero return. I do not, and never have had a problem with that. The site owners do receive income from there advertising and other sidelines. This income would not be generated were it not for the stories freely given by authors. I have no complaints about this. The site owners deserve some reward for offering the platform. As far as I am concerned money doesn't come into it. You brought it up not me.

As for writing in American, That is a no no for me. When I read read stories from American authors I make the translation into English. I expect American readers to extend the same courtesy to me. If the site owners only want stories written in American then they should say so. Maybe they would consider offering a foreign language category for us English speakers.

No I am not quibbling with the guidance, it may or may not be correct. I am quibbling, as you put it with the lack of consistency. When an author takes the trouble to correct most of the errors in a story that has already been published, it is a slap in the face when the site owners say you can't publish the improved version because it's not good enough. I repeat what I said in the first post the dialogue has not been changed so if it was good enough 18 months ago, why is it not good enough now?

 

[lovecraft68]

Am I not getting my money's worth. Well no actually I am not. I invest significant amounts of time in each story and get zero return. I do not, and never have had a problem with that. The site owners do receive income from there advertising and other sidelines. This income would not be generated were it not for the stories freely given by authors.

Nailed it.

Now wait for the snotty reply from lit's biggest snot.

 

[sr71plt]

Am I not getting my money's worth. Well no actually I am not. I invest significant amounts of time in each story and get zero return.

Well, then, you'd be a fool to continue doing so with that attitude, wouldn't you? Because I highly doubt that Literotica is gong to redecorate itself for you.

I can't see that Literotica would miss Lovecraft68 with his ego and self-centered attitude either.

 

[DeYaKen]

Well, then, you'd be a fool to continue doing so with that attitude, wouldn't you? Because I highly doubt that Literotica is gong to redecorate itself for you.

I can't see that Literotica would miss Lovecraft68 with his ego and self-centered attitude either.

The extremely selective quote you have used to try to distort my argument does you no credit. Thankfully people can see my response, just above your comment, so they can see just how disingenuous you are being.

 

[_Lynn_]

I have just decided to edit the first story I ever posted, and have had the edited version rejected for the following reason.

"Please fix the punctuation of your dialogue. The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions."

I have not changed the dialogue punctuation in anyway from the original which was accepted. I have corrected some tenses and slightly re written the end to make it fit characters better.

If the second version is unacceptably bad then the first version should also be removed. I am all for improving quality but you must be consistent. As for the advice to use a volunteer editor? The chance would be a fine thing. I've been trying to find a reliable editor for nearly a year now without success. I've had a few offers but they don't get around to starting or they find they are too committed to continue.

The story in question was Secrets and Lies chapter 2. The edited version of chapter 1 is now up and available to all

I'm sorry for all those readers who will have to make do with the inferior ending but I don't have the time to keep rewriting the same story. If anyone else is interested in doing the job I'll email it to them. In the mean time I expect Manu and Lauren will read the original and take that down because it REALLY does have some gaffs in it.

Complaining, or quibbling, or whatever term you want to use, on this forum isn't the answer. Glitches happen, as others already noted in this thread.

If you want help from others, then follow the suggestion of posting up to three paragraphs of the rejected story here.

Or send a PM to Laurel (not Lauren) explaining the facts. Otherwise resubmit the story and explain the facts in the notes box of why you believe the story shouldn't have been rejected.

 

[DeYaKen]

Complaining, or quibbling, or whatever term you want to use, on this forum isn't the answer. Glitches happen, as others already noted in this thread.

If you want help from others, then follow the suggestion of posting up to three paragraphs of the rejected story here.

Or send a PM to Laurel (not Lauren) explaining the facts. Otherwise resubmit the story and explain the facts in the notes box of why you believe the story shouldn't have been rejected.

I have used the contact us box to ask for an explanation but have received no response as yet. It is still early days but previous experience tells me there will not be one.

Here is an A4 page ( a little bigger than US letter) of the story.

*************************************

Susan passed the phone from his locker and I punched in my new mobile number.

“That's my new mobile number, please share it with your mum and brother and sister. You can get me on that number or you can just call my old office number”

Susan looked at me with a shocked look on her face. “You mean that all this time, all I had to do was call your office number to get hold of you?”

“Yeah of course. I still had to work you know.”

Susan and Alex started to laugh until Alex felt his stitches pulling. I stayed for a while and told him how he would have to be more careful in future and reminded him that he would still have all the anti-rejection drugs to take.

“Don't worry dad I know that this is my second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance don't they dad.”

“Yes,” I said pretending to miss what he was getting at, “but they rarely get a third.”

As I started to leave Susan got up and came to the door. She took my hand in hers and said “Thank you Harry.” Then surprised me by going up onto tip toes, kissing me on the cheek and whispering in my ear, “I love you.”

I placed my other hand on hers and said “One step at a time Susan, One step at a time.”

When I got back to the ward I found Sarah waiting for me at the nurses station. She grabbed my arm and took me back to my room.

“Come on you are supposed to be a patient, not a visitor.”

As soon as we were back in my room she asked “So how is he Harry?”

I told her how well Alex looked, and that I had a reasonable conversation with him.

“Did Susan come to see you?”

“Yes she did, and who told her I was here?”

“Ah, that would be me I guess. Sorry Harry, I just couldn't bear the thought of Gary getting all the credit for Alex's recovery.”

Sarah told me the nurses were expecting me to be discharged the following day and assured me she would be there to collect me.

The following day I was indeed discharged on the condition that there was someone at home to look after me. I lied and told them there was. I gave Sarah a call and asked her to delay picking me up so that I could go and see Alex again.

He was looking great and I had obviously got there before Susan. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know.

*****************************

Make of it what you can.

I'm sad to see some people are trying to turn the thread into a flame war. I have no intention of perpetuating that so I'll contribute no more to it. Feel free to delete the thread altogether.

 

[sr71plt]

The problems I see are not in the dialogue treatment, although you've left out separating some dialogue slugs with commas, but in the punctuation. (and, again, your attitude about what is due you on a free-use site. This is the world of publishing. A rejection notice pretty much negates your notion of what your work is worth to the Web site that--at least for now--has rejected it. You apparently were just lucky you got it through the first time.) You're welcome.

* * * *

Susan passed the phone from his locker[comma. A compound sentence of two independent clauses.] and I punched in my new mobile number.

“That's my new mobile number,[period. A run-on sentence] please share it with your mum and brother and sister. You can get me on that number or you can just call my old office number[period missing]”

Susan looked at me with a shocked look on her face. “You mean that all this time, all I had to do was call your office number to get hold of you?”

“Yeah[comma. Interjection] of course. I still had to work[comma] you know.”

Susan and Alex started to laugh until Alex felt his stitches pulling. I stayed for a while and told him how he would have to be more careful in future and reminded him that he would still have all the anti-rejection[antirejection. Almost no word with an "anti" prefix takes a hyphen. It's in the dictionary.] drugs to take.

“Don't worry[comma. direct address. and "Dad" should be capitalized here. Direct address] dad[comma] I know that this is my second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance[comma] don't they dad.”

“Yes,” I said[comma] pretending to miss what he was getting at, “but they rarely get a third.”

As I started to leave[comma] Susan got up and came to the door. She took my hand in hers and said[comma] “Thank you[comma] Harry.” Then ["she" missing]surprised me by going up onto tip toes, kissing me on the cheek[comma. Publishing uses the serial comma] and whispering in my ear, “I love you.”

I placed my other hand on hers and said[comma] “One step at a time[comma] Susan, One step at a time.”

When I got back to the ward[comma] I found Sarah waiting for me at the nurses"nurses'" It's possessive] station. She grabbed my arm and took me back to my room.

“Come on[period. Run-on sentence] you are supposed to be a patient, not a visitor.”

As soon as we were back in my room[comma] she asked[comma] “So how is he Harry?”

I told her how well Alex looked,[delete comma. A dependent clause added to an independent clause] and that I had a reasonable conversation with him.

“Did Susan come to see you?”

“Yes[comma] she did, and who told her I was here?”

“Ah, that would be me[comma] I guess. Sorry[comma] Harry, I just couldn't bear the thought of Gary getting all the credit for Alex's recovery.”

Sarah told me the nurses were expecting me to be discharged the following day and assured me she would be there to collect me.

The following day I was indeed discharged on the condition that there was someone at home to look after me. I lied and told them there was. I gave Sarah a call and asked her to delay picking me up so that I could go and see Alex again.

He was looking great[comma] and I had obviously got there before Susan [add "did."]. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know.

 

[_Lynn_]

I have used the contact us box to ask for an explanation but have received no response as yet. It is still early days but previous experience tells me there will not be one.

Here is an A4 page ( a little bigger than US letter) of the story.

*************************************

Susan passed the phone from his locker and I punched in my new mobile number.

“That's my new mobile number. Please share it with your mum and brother and sister. You can get me on that number or you can just call my old office number.”

Susan looked at me with a shocked look on her face. “You mean that all this time, all I had to do was call your office number to get hold of you?”

“Yeah, of course. I still had to work, you know.”

Susan and Alex started to laugh until Alex felt his stitches pulling. I stayed for a while and told him how he would have to be more careful in future and reminded him that he would still have all the anti-rejection drugs to take.

“Don't worry, Dad, I know that this is my second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance, don't they, Dad?”

“Yes,” I said pretending to miss what he was getting at. “But they rarely get a third.”

As I started to leave, Susan got up and came to the door. She took my hand in hers and said, “Thank you, Harry.” Then surprised me by going up onto tip toes, kissing me on the cheek, and whispering in my ear, “I love you.”

I placed my other hand on hers and said, “One step at a time Susan. One step at a time.”

When I got back to the ward I found Sarah waiting for me at the nurses station. She grabbed my arm and took me back to my room.

“Come on, you are supposed to be a patient, not a visitor.”

As soon as we were back in my room she asked, “So how is he, Harry?”

I told her how well Alex looked, and that I had a reasonable conversation with him.

“Did Susan come to see you?”

“Yes she did, and who told her I was here?”

“Ah, that would be me I guess. Sorry Harry, I just couldn't bear the thought of Gary getting all the credit for Alex's recovery.”

Sarah told me the nurses were expecting me to be discharged the following day and assured me she would be there to collect me.

The following day I was indeed discharged on the condition that there was someone at home to look after me. I lied and told them there was. I gave Sarah a call and asked her to delay picking me up so that I could go and see Alex again.

He was looking great and I had obviously got there before Susan. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know.

*****************************

Make of it what you can.

I'm sad to see some people are trying to turn the thread into a flame war. I have no intention of perpetuating that so I'll contribute no more to it. Feel free to delete the thread altogether.

I don't know which contact box you mean, but if it was an e-mail, you won't get a reply. That function doesn't seem to work. The PM to Laurel or using the notes box with a submission work best.

I scanned this and marked a few things I noticed right away. However, I won't say I'm correct either. And I didn't mark everything. Watch the word repetition. That gets boring.

 

[DeYaKen]

?

The problems I see are not in the dialogue treatment, although you've left out separating some dialogue slugs with commas, but in the punctuation.

He was looking great[comma] and I had obviously got there before Susan [add "did."]. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know.

?????????

 

[sr71plt]

?????????

Yep. You get an edit from a professional editor and you get one set to professional publishing industry standards.

And interesting that you nitpick at something else at a showing of abominable grasp of punctuation (which is probably the real reason the work got rejected here when the editor took a closer look at it. There were, yes, three mistakes in dialogue tags, but there were a whole bunch of other punctuation mistakes too).

You could use an editor to get your stories accepted here so that you can then complain about the appreciation you don't get from the Web site for giving them content. If they reject your work, you haven't given them anything--they don't want it yet.