Houston, Tx Rollcall

[Secret Kate]

Sad to say this morning I did hear a report of one fatality in all the rain on Monday. Two teenagers got stuck in a van in rising water. The girl died - drowned - the boy was rescued before it was too late for him. Why do people drive into high water????

 

[texas_guy]

stupidity? love the fact these kids havetheses suped up vehicles orthe raised ones and think they just aout invincible.



Hows everyone doing today?

 

[someplace]

Yes, Kate, I heard about that too. I guess I spoke too soon

 

[someplace]

Okay Gang...Have you seen this yet?

New Houston Barbie Available Just in Time for Xmas


Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie
Dolls for the Houston area market:


RIVER OAKS BARBIE:

This princess Barbie is only sold at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog Named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without Tummy tuck, breast implants and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction With "augmented" version of Barbie.


KINGWOOD OR KATY BARBIE:

This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell Phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.


4th WARD BARBIE:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis Knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit. This model is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know what you're talking about.


WOODLANDS BARBIE:

This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit cards and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.


PASADENA BARBIE:

This model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams,Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.


INNER LOOP/WEST UNIVERSITY BARBIE:

This rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit and
drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at her beach house in Galveston. This doll comes with an added bonus Nanny Skipper Doll for taking care of Barbie's invisible children whom she hardly knows. Percocet and Xanax prescription bottles also available.


MEMORIAL BARBIE:

This Barbie comes complete with a Suburban. Her highlighted hair is shoulder length and she wears khaki pants and a matching sweater set.

Your choice of Golden Retriever or Labrador dog. Ken doll is unavailable due to his being perpetually "at the office" or "on a business trip." Other available accessories include: Tennis outfit and tennis racket, Harold Powell charge card, Prozac Prescription
Bottle and the related Private Investigator Barbie (for checking up on Ken).


MONTROSE BARBIE:

This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow."



BEAUMONT BARBIE:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of Skipper's house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter-top.

Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old Ford pick up.

 

[Secret Kate]

That was too funny!!! (but oh so true!)

 

[someplace]

Well, many of you have been to my house and know where I live, so you can be pretty sure about which Barbie description caused me to choke with laughter. OMG! It was sooooooooo true! I couldn't read any further for a few minutes.

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

Ah, if only I were more like Barbie.

 

[someplace]

No you DON'T!

Did you know that Barbie was actually based on German doll called Lili (or something like that) and Lili was based on a prostitute?

Besides, if you translated Barbie into real life measurements, I'm not sure you'd be able to stand up. Some estimates place her at 7'2" with 20% of her body weight in her boobs.

Here's a more conservative estimate of Barbie's size translated to real life measurements:

Average woman
Weight = 145 lbs.
Height = 5' 4"
Dress size = 11 -14
Bust = 36 - 37"
Waist = 29 - 31"
Hips = 40 - 42"

Barbie
Weight = 101 lbs .
Height = 6' 0"
Dress size = 4
Bust = 39"
Waist = 19"
Hips = 33"

Store mannequin
Weight = Not available
Height = 6' 0"
Dress size = 6
Bust = 34"
Waist = 23"
Hips = 34"

 

[someplace]

Now I've got that song, "This one's for the girls" running through my head. "You're beautiful the way you are!"

 

[Mikesliver]

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Mike

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

Happy Day after Thanksgiving Shopping!



Well, I'm planning on being good... just a *few* things for myself that are really on sale.

How bout everyone else? Are you already shopping for others? I kinda like the mad rush of waiting a little longer.

 

[texas_guy]

HELLL no lol. Did that last year, was fry's here though. IN there 45 mins or so after they opened. 4 HOURs on line to pay. NO thanks lol. they savings are good but not THAT good.

 

[badlad]

Hi !

I'm new to this site , tell me more about the Houston party.
Straight shot down there fron Dallas

 

[someplace]

Howdy badlad. That's a pretty amazing name you picked out there. Why don't you tell us where it's from?

Sorry to say it sounds amazingly like something my not-too-soon-to-be-ex-husband would pick out to harrass me on my playground. Why don't you give us a few more bona fides about yourself?

 

[Coolarrow2003]

I am from Houston i am new to lit but love it already.

 

[warwick]

Checking In

NorthWest Houston here - recouperating from the Thanksgiving feasts. Hook-em Horns - Was that a game or was that a game ??

 

[Mikesliver]

Thankgiving 'Vacation'

Having fun packing for my move, Someplace. No not moving away, just into our own home finally. No more renting for me!

Mike

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

It sure is quiet around here! Where did everyone go?

 

[texas_guy]

im here im here
just been lurking

 

[TexasFunGuy]

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays to all my fellow Houstonians and everyone here at lit

 

[TexasFunGuy]

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays to all my fellow Houstonians and everyone here at lit

 

[someplace]

Same to you. Same to you, TexasFunGuy. Are you new here? If so, then welcome to our merry band. Hope you have lots of fun here.

 

[russell]

checking in

 

[TexasFunGuy]

oops

Same to you. Same to you, TexasFunGuy. Are you new here? If so, then welcome to our merry band. Hope you have lots of fun here.

OOPS OOPS I don't know how my last post was posted twice.
Yes someplace I am new here and I like what I see so far.

 

[badlad]

someplace

Watch out. Someplace is paranoid about her not so soon to be husband.
Scroll back, gave me a hard time about my crude postings.
Like you I,m new and wanted to get a reaction, or at least start a thread.
I guess I'm unexperienced unlike you.
Hi to lit