Household Hazard Warning

[Shelby]

Did you know the average household vacuum isn't necessarily a wet/dry vac?

Did you know that they really mean it when they label power tools with the warning that "these are not toys"?

Hell, I thought they were kidding.

I had a heck of a day! How was yours? Any pearls of household wisdom?

 

[Adoratrice]

If your going to cook a corndog in the microwave I would think that 45 seconds as opposed to 45minutes would be sufficient.And if you just happen to go blow dry your hair and forget about it ....make sure you know where the fire extiguishers are.

Just a thought.

 

[Merelan]

Shelby, I sense a story here... spill the beans.

I swear I thought that said cumdogs Adoratrice... oops. Where is my mind?

 

[TurnerBackwards]

Just use the hair dryer on the corndog, cant take much longer that 45 seconds.

 

[Shelby]

Yeah...as long as you aren't in the bathtub.

 

[TurnerBackwards]

Dont get me started, might have to start a here's your sign thread..

 

[Shelby]

Shelby, I sense a story here... spill the beans."
*****************************
Merelan,

Dog, puppies, spaghetti sauce, dog piss, puppy puke, uneven shelves in the bathroom, puppies tripping me, death threats (so sue me tree-huggers)

All the ads on TV show the happy woman vacuuming up all her troubles. Lying bastards.

[Edited by Shelby on 03-06-2001 at 09:06 PM]

 

[Silverlily]

Any pearls of household wisdom?

Yes, don't mix Tide and All (look up Domestic Chemistry 101). The emusifiers don't blend and create a really, REALLY bad smell.

 

[Bigdog]

Pearls of wisdom

Never microwave one of those juice boxes that has been in the freezer. They are lined with foil which reflects the microwaves and sets the outer paper on fire, causing daughter to call dad at work and scream hysterically "I SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE!", which in turn causes dad to drive home like a maniac breaking many, many traffic laws.

I now know how many firetrucks my local fire station has.

 

[DarlingBri]

DO NOT microwave a jelly donut. That shit is HOT on the inside!

<whimper>

 

[Mortto56]

Now Shelby,what exactly was you doing with the vaccum in the bath tub?(LMAO)

I've seen some pictures of what a woman can do with a vaccum in her hands.

 

[willfulbrat]

If you have young children and a separate broiler beneath your oven, it's a good idea to check the broiler for baby dolls that have been wrapped in a dishtowel and put to bed there before you attempt baking something. And a fire extinguisher in the kitchen can come in very handy.

 

[Beebeeblue]

LMAO @ willfulbrat!!

Thanks for the advice!!!!!!

 

[Ally C]

get stuffed ...

I hate when it says on the labelling "Serving suggestion". Like you look at the packaging and think, "hey the contents come on a plate ready to eat", or whatever. You know the ones I mean ...

Another thing: IGNORE the bit on the packaging that tells you how many servings the foodstuff is intended for. At least 90% of the time this will be highly inaccurate; especially if it's something like a chocolate gateau you've bought ...

 

[CRaZy]

It doesn't matter if it comes with wings or without. You are still going to be a bitch from hell.

 

[CreamyLady]

If you have young children and a separate broiler beneath your oven, it's a good idea to check the broiler for baby dolls that have been wrapped in a dishtowel and put to bed there before you attempt baking something. And a fire extinguisher in the kitchen can come in very handy.

Yes, and if you have a barbecue with a warming oven over the grill, check it for plastic action figures before lighting up.

The resulting stench will clear the patio of guests in no time at all, and no one will want the chicken.

Of course, depending on the guests, that might be a good thing.

 

[Jade]

does this count?

peanut butter gets the gum out of hair

 

[SweetCherry]

Never go outside for even 15 seconds without having your housekey in your pocket when you have a 3 year old obsessed with the lock on the front door. I did that a couple of weeks ago to take the garbage out. I only had to go 10 feet from the house and back, and by the time I did get back, the little heathen had locked me out. If he had been a few years older, I might have taken it personally.

 

[Isolde]

Dont be surprised at the holes in the wall after leaving the hammer down where your four year old can get to it.

And always check to see what is in the VCR before putting in a tape. If you have children under the age of eight it could be anything.

 

[indyweasel]

Children

And always check to see what is in the VCR before putting in a tape. If you have children under the age of eight it could be anything.

I've pulled everything from action figures to partial grilled cheese sandwiches out of there. Never underestimate what a 3 year old will do.

 

[Juliangel]

When you hear "Opps" and the toilet flush it is already too late.

A six year old child trying to do a hand stand on the hot and cold water knobs to the tub can break one off, and you will be amazed how much water can spray out of there.

Also plumbers are really expensive nights, weekends and the day before Christmas Eve.

 

[indyweasel]

When you hear "Opps"

Just hearing you child say "Opps" is enough to set off warning alarms..

 

[Isolde]

The only thing worse than "Oops" when you have young childern is total and complete silence.

 

[indyweasel]

Silence

I have three kids 4 and under.. Silence does not happen until 10 PM at the earliest.