Hoping to Ask a Wheat Farmer a Few Questions

[ThatNewGuy]

Apologies in advance for yet another wheat farming thread. If you've harvested wheat or are familiar with the process and would be willing to answer a few questions, please send me a private message.

I'm working on a story set in Kansas during harvest season for winter wheat. I've done some research, but I'd also like to chat with someone who knows what they're talking about so that I can make it seem like I know what I'M talking about.

I'd be grateful for your help and happy to credit you in an Author's Note.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’d assumed this was slang for something

 

[onehitwanda]

I’d assumed this was slang for something

want to harvest my grain, @EmilyMiller ? :eyebrows:

 

[onehitwanda]

want to harvest my grain, @EmilyMiller ? :eyebrows:

I have a fertile valley that needs some... careful and attentive landscaping, if you know what I mean, @EmilyMiller - it's been a dry winter, so any rain would be... appreciated.

omg I'll stop now or people will get ideas about us.

 

[EmilyMiller]

omg I'll stop now or people will get ideas about us.

Way too late for that!

Maybe there is still time for you and @Jackie.Hikaru

Emily

 

[onehitwanda]

Way too late for that!

Maybe there is still time for you and @Jackie.Hikaru

Emily

oh, too late for that I'm afraid, she's been tarred and feathered as part of our menage a décolletage.

 

[ThatNewGuy]

I assumed this thread might quickly sink to the bottom of the main page with zero replies. I didn't count on @EmilyMiller and @onehitwanda coming to the rescue.

 

[EmilyMiller]

oh, too late for that I'm afraid, she's been tarred and feathered as part of our menage a décolletage.

Having written a fantasy about me and another female Lit writer (and had her reciprocate), it could become. ménage de l’écriture

 

[EmilyMiller]

I assumed this thread might quickly sink to the bottom of the main page with zero replies. I didn't count on @EmilyMiller and @onehitwanda coming to the rescue.

Really sorry - if I knew anything about wheat farming I’d tell you.

I’ll go sit in the CORNer and be quiet, you’ll BARLEY hear me, OATSkay?

Emily

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I assumed this thread might quickly sink to the bottom of the main page with zero replies. I didn't count on @EmilyMiller and @onehitwanda coming to the rescue.

Give it a few more hours and you will find yourself taking those words back

 

[Bamagan]

Really sorry - if I knew anything about wheat farming I’d tell you.

I’ll go sit in the CORNer and be quiet, you’ll BARLEY hear me, OATSkay?

Emily

I'd have given your punning an A+ if you'd signed it Emmerly.

 

[SimonDoom]

I assumed this thread might quickly sink to the bottom of the main page with zero replies. I didn't count on @EmilyMiller and @onehitwanda coming to the rescue.

Once they get started, there's no stopping them. But I'd take anything they say with a grain of salt. Just food for thought. When they blabber, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. I'm not always sure what they're up to, but I'm pretty sure it involves crops.

Now, quinoa please get back to the original subject?

Back to your original question: I can't help you, but you might list specific questions here. Some people might be able to answer some of them. The more specific detail you provide about the questions you want answered, the more likely you are to get a helpful reply.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'd have given your punning an A+ if you'd signed it Emmerly.

Oh fuck! A word I didn’t know. I’m so turned on right now

 

[EmilyMiller]

Once they get started, there's no stopping them. But I'd take anything they say with a grain of salt. Just food for thought. When they blabber, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. I'm not always sure what they're up to, but I'm pretty sure it involves crops.

Now, quinoa please get back to the original subject?

Back to your original question: I can't help you, but you might list specific questions here. Some people might be able to answer some of them. The more specific detail you provide about the questions you want answered, the more likely you are to get a helpful reply.

Pot - kettle - black!

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

I was summoned, but I only came by to say, please be cereal and stay on topic.

 

[MrPixel]

One reply and the thread spins out of control. SNAFU.

Back to your original question: I can't help you, but you might list specific questions here. Some people might be able to answer some of them. The more specific detail you provide about the questions you want answered, the more likely you are to get a helpful reply.

Yeah, ask out here. I'm not a farmer but I'm member of the Farm Bureau and actually read the monthly newsletter about farming in our area. IOW, passing familiarity, and we are surrounded by grain crops including winter wheat. Maybe a there's a grain of truth in what I know. Pun intended, I'm here for the party, too. Where's the keg? Oh... combines are big-ass lawnmowers. We can start there.

 

[onehitwanda]

I'd have given your punning an A+ if you'd signed it Emmerly.

Oh my GOD! YOU! GET IN THE BIN! I can't believe you did this. You are going to rye the day you came in here, punning like that.

 

[Bamagan]

Oh my GOD! YOU! GET IN THE BIN! I can't believe you did this. You are going to rye the day you came in here, punning like that.

I regret nothing, part of the joy of puns is how they are spelt.

 

[onehitwanda]

I regret nothing, part of the joy of puns is how they are spelt.

OH NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T.

bravo

I hope you felt a pulse of victory. But no worries, I'll leave you to your yammering

 

[ThatNewGuy]

I never expected all these puns to crop up.

 

[onehitwanda]

I never expected all these puns to crop up.

It's Wednesday afternoon and you went sowing. You reap what you sow, babe. Also, @SimonDoom - shame!

 

[SimonDoom]

Also, @SimonDoom - shame!

You should know by now I have absolutely none.

Don't let it furrow your brow.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

And, once again, with the arrival of the Usual Suspects, AH has become a cornucopia of amaizing puns. Some might feel stalked, but I personally am all ears.

Now, where did I put that flak jacket...?

 

[SimonDoom]

I was summoned, but I only came by to say, please be cereal and stay on topic.

I realize the puns seem corny, but believe me, there's a kernel of truth in them.

 

[SimonDoom]

My fellow Literoticans never seeds to a-maize me.