Hope you guys don't mind...

[Cupids Fool]

That someone that has only just registered is starting their own thread but I signed up (finally) because I wanted some advice.

I am happily in a relationship but I have found myself falling in love with someone else - nothing would ever come of it, they live the other side of the world, we only chat online, and as I say I am happy in the relationship I am in, but I can't help falling in love with this other person.

So is it wrong of me to love two people? The new person just makes me feel alive but I adore my SO and would never consider leaving him for this person (or anyone else).

I guess most would just tell me to walk away from the internet love and forget him, but that isn't an option I miss him terribly when I don't get a chance to talk to him. Surely as I am aware of my feelings for him it will be ok so long as I don't let my heart go overboard?

What do you guys think? as my name suggests Cupid has made me his fool again and I am so confused.

 

[mistressastra]

Been there, done that

as I'm sure alot of us have. I was married to a cheater, only he cheated in real life. So I began to search for more and found it with a man all the way across the country. We chatted every night and cybered. I thought I loved him. My feelings for him and the way he made me feel translated into better sex with hubby, but it wasn't him I was making love with. It was the fantasy guy of course. We talked about what it would be like to get together physicaly and when the opportunity arose, I was thrilled and scared both. He was so perfect it seemed. Before the meeting could take place we stopped being so "together". I later found out I was not his only online "lover". There were others. It was his thing to get close to a woman and then when he lost interest, he moved on. One of his later conquests was a friend of mine in the same chatroom we had met in, so of course we discussed him and his technique. I cringe to think I might have left hubby for him, even if hubby was a cheater already. I would not do that to myself. The funny thing is, later on we did in fact meet and you know what? Nothing! Zippo! No sparks at all! He smelled funny and sweated alot. Did nothing for me even if he did make my loins melt online. So do be careful please. Don't give up something good for something unsure.

 

[Sillyman]

I know how you feel. I'm in love with a girl I met online. We live halfway across the country from each other. She also doesn't love me. She does have a boyfriend that she is in love with but has a friend who is across the world she is in love with. Both of them are in love with her. Sigh. Love sucks sometimes.

It may be best to just walk away from the Internet. You are probably only causing yourself pain and frustration in the long run. You are making them into an idealized image of what they should be, and that can be unhealthy for your "real" relationship. You start comparing the two, and eventually could sour something good.

 

[yuppietowngirl]

I totally agree with Mistressastra. My hubby never cheated on me...but he ignored me...and that can be just as damaging. He would go out with everyone but me...including other female friends. And he isolated me from our friends when our marriage started breaking down. That way they would be his friends and would see him as the victim. But that is another story

But because of being ignored...I found the chat rooms. At first I was very good...only going to the parent/mommy chats. Then I moved onto different chats. I finally arrived at an alternative chat. Where I was contacted by a man. By this time hubby and I had decided to open our marriage. It was time for us to make a business trip and so I had the oppurunity to meet this man. My hubby even advised me on what to wear when meeting this guy. I had meet him earlier...but this the meeting were I knew more was going to happen. And it did and it was beautiful. I am still with this man...that I have known for two years. And I do not regret being with him now and not with my hubby. I have shortened my story because I didn't think anyone would want to read my novel. There were more problems then just being ignored.

BUT...if your marriage is great. Why not concentrate on your hubby instead of chatting. I know that if hubby hadn't ignored me in the beginning. I wouldn't be here now...I would be in bed with my hubby. Don't give up on a good thing...it just might not be worth it.

 

[yuppietowngirl]

Sorry...

Forgot to say that I wasn't that far from the man. And now I live within a 10 min drive from him. I am still with hubby...but for financial reasons but our marriage is unrepairable.

Good luck Cupid...and like Sillyman says...the best thing might be to walk away. But you are the only one who can decide that.

 

[Cupids Fool]

Thanx

I am not married to my SO but I am madly in love with him, as I said I am not about to leave him for my "fantasy" or anyone else...

I am aware that my "fantasy" is attached and I am nothing more than an ego trip for him, but I still can't help myself
I am deliberately not comparing my SO and my "fantasy" as I know that is a dangerous game to play.

I just can't help the thrill when I see his name appear online, I catch myself working out the time difference in an effort to try and work out what he may be doing.

He just helps make me feel complete, I am only relatively young and have a failed marriage behind me already (hence I am not about to make the same mistake by walking away this time) but I think it is because of that failed marriage (amongst other things) that I am the way I am - I need to feel loved by all around me and by as many people as I can, I am incredibly insecure.

I also seem to be one of those people (and I know this sounds bad) that people fall for easily, and I can't work out why, I have various friends (of both sexes) that love me, which can cause trouble with my SO.

I am just hopeless I guess, my Nickname fits me well...

 

[Vivacia]

I too have been there and done that... if you need a chat just PM me and good luck