Homosexual Adoption : Where do you Stand

[sigh]

sorry lavender, but i've nothing specific to say about the case in florida, but this issue is very specific to me

i'm a lesbian mother

two terms, two descriptors, two views on who i am...and that's all they are...obviously neither is exclusive of the other because each is a fact...i really don't understand people who say that lesbians can't be mothers because saying that, and believing that, denies my existence

and folks, like it or not, i'm here

and no, the fact that i gave birth to my child rather than adopted him is not relevant...what's relevant is that i'm a good mother and that my son unquestionably belongs with me

how a good mother gets her child is what's irrelevent

 

[Groupfunguy4fem]

Love is Love

I am completely aligned with all the comments in this thread that any child deserves and needs to be loved. This is especially true for those who have had the misfortune and only mistake was to be born with an affliction like Aids.

However, after all of these great comments and emotions having been said, I have to ask if they have moved us beyond the starting point of having these children being removed from a loving home. In turn, being subject to what I considered, emotional and mental child abuse by the government.

My point is ... How can we make our voices be heard where it may do some good? Contact Rosie O'Donnell? Contact Congressmen and Congresswomen, Senators. Is there anyone amoung us who can offer a viable way for us ... John & Joan Q. Public ... to let out feelings be heard and taken into account?

If not us... who?
If not now... when?


Bob

 

[Weird Harold]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Anything specific to this case in Florida? Many of you answered generally.

The boy in question is now ten years old and has never lived with any other family. Has anyone asked his opinion?

He's old enough to communicate with people, and I'm sure that he's horrified about being removed from his parents and siblings. They might not be blood relations, but they're as much siblings as any other children who have grown up together.

Florida Literoticans should bombard their state representatives and senators to repeal the discriminatory clause in Florida's adoption laws.

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

My parents are gay. Not my biological parents, they started neglecting me at age seven. I went to live with a male gay couple who treated me like their own. I was loved, treated exceptionally well, educated, raised in a nice privelidged home and my "new parents" took an intense interest in my schooling, my mental and physical health and my state of well-being in general. More than I can say for most parents, gay or straight.

I was lucky that the governemt was never involved. My bio-parents or "sperm doners" as I call them, did not care enough to get anyone involved. They just handed me over and no one was the wiser until I was sixteen and then it was my choice. My "new parents" would just show up at my bio-parents' house if something needed to be signed, say school forms, etc, and say "Sign it." And my bio-parents were usually too wasted to give a care. Everyone knew that my "new parents" were raising me, but everyone also knew that was the best thing for me.

I had a few people who objected and said I should be living with my bio-parents, no matter what...because they were straight. They shought I would be better off living with drug junkies who beat the crap out of me, than with loving parents who hugged me every day. Shows ya how sick some people are.

 

[DustyWolfe]

My parents are gay. Not my biological parents, they started neglecting me at age seven. I went to live with a male gay couple who treated me like their own. I was loved, treated exceptionally well, educated, raised in a nice privelidged home and my "new parents" took an intense interest in my schooling, my mental and physical health and my state of well-being in general. More than I can say for most parents, gay or straight.

I was lucky that the governemt was never involved. My bio-parents or "sperm doners" as I call them, did not care enough to get anyone involved. They just handed me over and no one was the wiser until I was sixteen and then it was my choice. My "new parents" would just show up at my bio-parents' house if something needed to be signed, say school forms, etc, and say "Sign it." And my bio-parents were usually too wasted to give a care. Everyone knew that my "new parents" were raising me, but everyone also knew that was the best thing for me.

I had a few people who objected and said I should be living with my bio-parents, no matter what...because they were straight. They shought I would be better off living with drug junkies who beat the crap out of me, than with loving parents who hugged me every day. Shows ya how sick some people are.

I am glad that you were able to be with your two fathers. I'm glad that they took care of you. My friend is a really bad mother and her son got put in foster care with a lesbian couple. He didn't want to go back home. He loved them.

 

[Nazadriel]

I don't want kids but if I did, I would conceive. I don't know what's more expensive and difficult, adoption or natural childbirth. Probably adoption.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Anything specific to this case in Florida? Many of you answered generally.

Specifically about this case?

These men took in babies, ill babies that no one else wanted, and they loved them and cared for them. The children seemed bright, happy and healthy. Passing judgement on the parents because of their sexuality rather than their parenting skills, or any number of factors is simply insane.

As WH said, this particular child has never known any other home. He's never known other parents. The psychological effects of taking him from his home, from his parents, from his siblings would be devastating.

 

[Laurel]

I'm in the "I can't believe this is still an issue in 2002" camp. With our foster care system overflowing with children, I can't believe that any qualified adopting parents would be turned down - Black, White, Purple, homosexual, bisexual, trisexual, or otherwise.

Unfortunately, homosexuals are STILL not on legal par with heterosexuals. They can't marry in most states. They have ZERO options should a partner die. They can't adopt. And besides vague, unfounded statements like "we all know 'they' aren't suitable parents", no one has been able to explain this inequity to me. Not suitable? Hey, my parents were heterosexuals, and my father was a fucking monster. I would gladly have traded both my parents for a qualified gay couple looking to adopt.

 

[SexySlut2]

I think it is ridiculous that a persons sexual orientation has anything to do with it, or anything for that matter.
I mean, the only thing that should matter is whether or not the child was going to be in a good, loving environment, which he obviously is.
There are laws that protect people from every type of discrimination, yet most of these 'law makers' over look these laws when it comes to same sex couples.
With the amount of children who need homes, it seems to me that they would gladly let same sex couples adopt. I honestly think it's a shame that any type of discrimination still goes on in America.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Lookee here

I think this is a new record for most posts agreeing with each other without a single disagreement.

I think we should try to break the record with this thread:

"Racism: Good or Bad?"

 

[Laurel]

Re: Lookee here

I think this is a new record for most posts agreeing with each other without a single disagreement.

I think we should try to break the record with this thread:

"Racism: Good or Bad?"

LMAO!


(I vote bad)

 

[hatara]

Florida and the rest of the country needs to update their laws. If homosexuals were allowed to have "legal marriages" this would not be an issue. Also it would give many life long partners the ability to decide medical issues and legal issues if their partners became incompacitated. Couples that have been together for years even decades often have family members that stopped speaking to them years ago for their choices deciding their fates because their "spouses" don't have the legal right.

Until all of the bigotry is wiped out of the legal system there will always be problems. A loving couple that takes a child in and loves and raises them should keep that child. There are so many abusive homes in the world no child should be taken from a loving environment.

If they take that child from the only loving set of parents he knows he will be lost. They are his parents now, his support system and his foundation. The law needs to wake up and catch up with the rest of the world.

 

[kiwiwolf]

The only factors that should come into the adoption process are whether or not the couple can provide the child with a safe, happy, nurturing, loving, stable environment. Sexual orientation should have no bearing. Gay couples are just as capable of providing these elements as straight couples.

What is the problem?... societies bullshit attitudes... go figure.