High Libido?

[shelleb4]

Hello, im new to this, but allready know im home at last.

Im curious though, Is there any link between higher than average libido and bdsm?

Personally my libido is higher than average. I sort of thought that anyone into this scene would have to be highly sexed too?

 

[sigsauerprinces]

funny, i was just thinking of this subject when i refreshed the page and saw your thread

i too wonder if theres a link. i have a high libido and always have...i love sex, and honestly, just the thought of my Master can get me wet, as it was quite recently . Just a few words from him make me instantly turned on.. and as for how often id like to have sex, ideally id like to have it at least twice a day, and sometimes more . most vanilla women i know want it something like twice a week! i cant imagine that. to be quite honest, i want his cock inside me all the time..want him using me and touching me ..want to be on my knees sucking him and serving him-all the time...and im eternally grateful he isnt into orgasm control because i would quite literally go insane. i masturbate on a semi-regular basis too, and most of the time, my Master is the subject of my fantasies. i have honestly never been so turned on by someone in my life. he turns me into a puddle of sticky goo at his feet

and, tho i dont know if i can explain this right, its not just about getting off. its about intimacy..being close to the man i love..showing him how i feel about him. there are a million ways a person can do that..but my favorite way is by making love to him....*sigh*

i love being a very sexual girl, i would never want to change.

ps-welcome to the forums, there are some really great, friendly people here

 

[WriterDom]

3 to 4 orgasms is the norm for me when I have sex over a 3 or 4 hour period. I'm sure it would be less if I had a live in partner. But twice a week? One just gets me started.

 

[wolf2002]

I have these moods, weeks of insatiable sexual lust, which can be followed by a relatively calm period... but they always come back...

These moods usually are triggered by a new sexual experience, an exciting encounter or even just a fantasy... most of the time they are BDSM orientated...

Wolf

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to say this is the first relationship where libido's are matched perfectly. Everyday, several times a day, keeps us smiling, and it seems the only thing which dissuades us continuing is either work, extreme illness, or plain exhaustion, and even then we often try just one more time. Seems unfair the world conspires to keep us from doing what come naturally asmoften as we want!! LOL. Insatiable? Definately!! Have to say most Dominants I have known are fairly high libido, though not quite as high as Master, but not all female subs have seemed quite as interested. Could be just coincidence, but I'm sure there are some for whom libido is not a prime factor.

Catalina

 

[paperdolly]

I think there may be something to this. Until I delved deeply into SM play beyond the initial clumsy spankings and inept attempts at bondage I never met a man who wanted sex as much as I do. It was a source of many arguments with vanilla boyfriends, and so frustrating!

Sigsauerprincess I echo your sentiments wholeheartedly.

 

[InnerDarkness]

I feel somewhat mismatched with my vanilla partner, but my partners who have been into BDSM seem to be more able to match my sexual appetite.

Before I found a name for my desires and kinks, I was still very sexually inclined, but not as much as I became when I finally was able to label all these things I had fantasized about for so long. It was as if the lifestyle fed my passions more if that makes sense.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i have very perverse, intense sexual cravings and desires, but as for my actual sex drive, i do not think it is very high, or no higher than normal, whatever that is.

 

[Esclava]

...Before I found a name for my desires and kinks, I was still very sexually inclined, but not as much as I became when I finally was able to label all these things I had fantasized about for so long. It was as if the lifestyle fed my passions more if that makes sense.

Ohhhhhhh....you have NO IDEA what finding a name for what has driven me (since I rode my first pillow in masturbation at the age of 5) did to me. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew I loved the way it made me feel. It opened feelings and sensations that, at times, cannot be assauged. I have not met one who exhausts me to the point that I want no more, but I serve one online that moves me to tears when He works me...

I DO believe that a high libido drives many members of the BDSM community. Vanilla lovers hit it - and quit it. That's only a tease for me...and if I can't get them to satisfy me.....it pisses me off - I wind up satisfying myself and then kick them out (usually just as they want more)!

My high libido has kept me "riding pillows" all my life - daily - many times a day. Although I am single at the present time, I still remind my body several times a day of how much I love it. When asked by a lover if I need a break, my immediate answer is: "NEVER!" But I look forward to finding The One who can bring me under loving submission and tame the desire that burns in me. Because that is the only way they will truly be able to experience all I have to give.

Esclava

 

[Netzach]

Is it libido that makes me need him on his knees, or with his eyes gently closed, acquiescing?

If it is, I want it all the time.

If it's not I get cranky if I don't have my nightly masturbation sleeping pill.

 

[Moose's Lady]

Moose and I spend hours and hours and hours just talking... nothing's taboo, nothings forbidden..... uncomfortable sometimes... as we get past the layers.....
but he said something to me a while back that made me wonder.
He told me I had the libido of a man.. and I countered with... Does a man's libido have to be higher than a womans?

I do have a high libido, I freely admit it. I'm wanton, constantly in need, in heat, however you want to describe it.
I don't think it's because I'm submissive, I think its because we're now free enough to admit our desires, free enough to show them, and give them....not hide them. We're free enough to tell a man what we like, and what we don't like.

Or perhaps..... in my submission...... I'm more honest about it?

Something else to think on...

 

[sigsauerprinces]

He told me I had the libido of a man..

its funny you say that, my Master told me the same thing. in his words "you have a very male sexual psyche". i rather took it as a compliment tho

 

[Moose's Lady]

its funny you say that, my Master told me the same thing. in his words "you have a very male sexual psyche". i rather took it as a compliment tho

At the time, I was rather hurt...
but as I thought about it, I realized he meant we matched so very well. Once I got past the lil girl crushed feelings, I can now examine it all a bit more closely.
Time for more conversation.....
or maybe I'll just have to go jump him and prove him right

 

[eilithyia]

hm...

interesting thread. in all my (admittedly young) life, i've only ever met one man whose libido matched my own. he was also the most kinky... nearly as kinky as me. and the best lover i've ever had. ah well. for all that vaunted male libido, there aren't that many men who can help me go through an entire box of condoms in the space of a weekend. none of the 'nilla type men, anyhow.

 

[Esclava]

Re: hm...

... for all that vaunted male libido, there aren't that many men who can help me go through an entire box of condoms in the space of a weekend. none of the 'nilla type men, anyhow.

I have to agree - I've always hated the fact that NO ONE "handles" me better than I do. That is until I embraced my submissiveness in all its glory.

Men want to "say" they are sexual beings and always on top of their game (lmao), but once the "sac" is empty, they have to be willing to explore other avenues to please a woman with a high libido. And most 'nilla men don't work like that.

Esclava

 

[Never]

Well, given that masochism involves the release of a considerable amount of endorphin to counter the pain it's possible that the brain becomes addicted to the high levels. That would increase a person's sex drive, especially over time, though if it followed the pattern of much addictive behavior, eventually you'd need to get your masochist 'kick' just to feel 'normal'.

That's the only possibility I can think of and that doesn't explain high levels of libido among sadists/dominants/submissives.

I'm guessing that literotica attracts people with higher than 'average' sex drives and that's the cause of the phenomena you're observing.

(Sorry for the excessive use of quotation marks)

 

[lark sparrow]

When you are truly enjoying and finding fulfillment in what you are doing and with whom you are doing it, it's pretty natural to want to do more of it. I tend not to think it has to with kink vs nilla in general, but people's proclivities and connections specifically.

 

[Esclava]

When you are truly enjoying and finding fulfillment in what you are doing and with whom you are doing it, it's pretty natural to want to do more of it. I tend not to think it has to with kink vs nilla in general, but people's proclivities and connections specifically.

I can see that point, lark. I do know that whether I'm alone or in a relationship, I'm either masturbating my eyeballs out or enlightening my partner on the needs of a woman with a highly developed desire for sexual fulfillment and the wisdom to know how to get it.

I don't have casual, consensual sex very often (even though there times I deny those urges - knowing it is what I need), but I know that it is not satisfactory, for me, if the partner is only concerned with their arousal and orgasm. Believe it or not, I actually care about whether the casual, consensual partner enjoys the time we spend together. Most of the time for me, it has less to do with kink than it does with endurance.

Esclava

 

[oo0_boo_0oo]

I think its because we're now free enough to admit our desires, free enough to show them, and give them....not hide them

I think you hit the nail on the head there! I was going to say that my sex drive has never been higher than it is now, but I know its to do with the person I'm with, rather than anything else.

 

[appetite]

the hunger grows...

I can not get enough of my sweet baby. Our time together wonderfully feeds our hungers and increases it more. She is inside me like never before. No more that a few unexpected words between us and we become engulfed in each other's passion.

Appe, the "A" in A's Sweet Baby. I adore you my sweet baby.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Probably, yes, for several of the reasons listed here -- plus one more. People with high libidos are the ones likely to go to the trouble of exploring the outer edges of their urges, and to do what it takes to arrive at something like bdsm, which is harder to find, less readily available, than vanilla. I'm still not 'there' yet, wherever 'there' is for me but it is definitely my libido that drives me to take the trouble to find what I'm looking for. Also, people with higher libidos may be people with higher levels of intensity need in general, which could take them here (or to exhibitionism or some of the other more intense sexual experiences.)

 

[jhangel]

When my husband and I first started having sex (while we were dating) we would have it every time that we went out and were alone. I thought that it would end when we moved together but it only got better it became at least twice a day thing. Then I thought that we would slow down, especially when we got married. But I am very Happy to report that it has not. Ours was a vanilla relationship up untill 6 months ago. So I dont think that is only people who are into BDSM that high libido. Although BDSM has caused us to move from once or twice a day to two or more times.


Although I do have to agree with the fact that it could be b/c of the person that you are with. There is just something about seeing my hubby that turns me on and makes me want to attack him.

 

[Esclava]

Besides....It just FEELS soooooooo dayam good!

And I LIKE feeling good!

Esclava

 

[esclave_PP]

I have almost an isatiable libido. Master has always joked about getting Viagra -- except now, he stopped joking and is making a doctor's appointment -- poor Master! I don't know about a formal correlation. Perhaps people who LOVE sex also love exploration?

 

[Esclava]

I have almost an isatiable libido. Master has always joked about getting Viagra -- except now, he stopped joking and is making a doctor's appointment -- poor Master! I don't know about a formal correlation. Perhaps people who LOVE sex also love exploration?

Intriguing analogy, malcah_ms. Just remember, men on Viagra CAN be worn out......

They just don't go soft.....

Esclava