Hi fellow authors need help

[sombrablanca]

Please read this rp. tell me what you think. Or read post 60 first, give thoughts as a short story, then tell me how you thought it fit ion context. Its my longest bit of writing yet. Please no trolls. Constructing not destructive please.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=713070

 

[Stella_Omega]

Please read this rp. tell me what you think. Or read post 60 first, give thoughts as a short story, then tell me how you thought it fit ion context. Its my longest bit of writing yet. Please no trolls. Constructing not destructive please.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=713070

Before I give you my advice, please remember; it's free, and you get what you paid for I hope that you don't take offense, but I understand if you do. If so, you can ignore it.

It's very difficult to pay attention to a snippet in the middle of an RP thread, honestly. RP is not written for the readers, it's written for the other writers-- a very different form. It takes a shitload of work to transform an RP into a legible, enjoyable story.

When I read a story, I want to read a beginning, middle and an end. I want to be introduced to the characters, be seduced into caring about them, be horrified by what happens to them, and cheer them on as they solve their problems. I want to know their emotional dilemmas, but i don't want to wallow in every moment of their cogitation. I want the story to move forward all the time.

I want a first sentence that makes me want to read the second. I want a last sentence that makes me want to read the first one over again.

If you want to turn your thread into a story, I suggest that you collate the whole thing, and then find one third of the words that you can delete. Yes. One third. If your thread turns out to be twenty-four thousand words, get rid of eight thousand words. That sounds very mechanical, but trust me-- you haven't even begun editing once you've done that. You've just whacked some of the weeds away.

Try that just with post 60, and see if my advice works for you