Hey You!

[SeXy ReDHeD]

How's life going? Still got that huge boil on your ass? How're the kids? How you been since the dog died?

I know, I could've asked on IM, but you know, I thought it was pertinent that the whole BB see our conversation.

Oh yeah--be sure and check your mail because I wrote you. I know you wouldn't wanna miss out on that.

Sorry to waste everyone else's precious time, but I just HAD to take up BB space to ask these very important questions.

Thanks.

 

[R Nitelight]

SeXy ReDHeaD

You're welcome.

 

[Mustang Sally]

The boil's better. That steak helped to keep the swelling down. My little Candy is pregnant and her boyfriend's in the slammer. Yup, grand theft auto. Jimmy's threatening to kick her out, but I won't hear of it. The trailer can hold one more. I think we can fit a crib in that closet.

I got your mail. Thanks! That was funny what you said about the knitting needles! I'll have to try that sometime.

Don't worry about THEM, Red, they LIKE to read all this gossip about each others' personal lives. What else do they have to do?

 

[Mustang Sally]

Oh yeah, check your email!

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Thanks for the email MS.

Whew! I was afraid those aliens that been comin' round lately might've intercepted it! Well, glad to hear that little Candy's doin' well. What is she now, 11, 12? I do think it's 'bout time for her to be gettin' hitched! That boyfriend o' hers sounds like a real winner! She did darn good! With the ol' man in the slammer and her bein' underage still, the money'll be just pourin' in! God bless America!

Well, I best be scurryin' about now. Be sure an' check your email. I sent you a link for another quiz!

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Well, I'm going to bed now.

I just know you all care and will miss me so much till I'm back again tomorrow.

Goodnight!

 

[Xander]

G'nite SR. Sleep well and sweet dreams

 

[Guest]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here to tell you about the new I-Want-Attention Gift Set. Are you under-appreciated and ignored? Do you feel worthless inside? Well, NO LONGER! Kiss those depressing days goodbye. With my new I-Want-Attention Gift Set, you will never have to feel inferior ever again.

It comes with two booklets. Booklet One is filled with sympathetic situations for you to pretend to live out, good for months and months of pity and consolation from your friends. Your email inbox will be full of offers to help you through your misery!

Booklet Two is a list of happy events that will cause people to want to pat you on the back and shout Hooray! This book is indispensable, because people will get suspicious if you're gloom and doom all the time. You have to intermix it with some positive stuff.

You might be satisfied with that, but that's not ALLLLLL! My I-Want-Attention Gift Set also comes with two CDs. One offers a selection of dysfunctional family histories. Each family history has a timeline of childhood memories to make your fake persona be more realistic. (You never know when some shithead with a good memory will try to trip you up.)

CD number two has more indispensable lists so you can fake your crises like a pro:
--Descriptions of thousands of diseases and how they're treated
--The ins and outs of suicide and drug abuse clinics
--Police and Social Services procedures
--What it's like to belong to A.A.
--A virtual gold mine of legal hassles that can befall you

...all guaranteed to generate years of life-affirming attention.

All this for only $29.95! That's right! $29.95. If you call 1-800-BUY A LIFE right now and you can get a digital camera as a bonus. Use the camera to take naked pictures of yourself (or your good-looking friends, so you can pretend you look better than you do) and post them on the Internet.

Call now! Don't wait! These kits can't be found in stores.

 

[April]

LOL That's actually pretty damn inventive.

Hey, can I get one? I need to spice up my humdrum life. LOL

 

[Mustang Sally]

All this for only $29.95! That's right! $29.95. If you call 1-800-BUY A LIFE right now and you can get a digital camera as a bonus. Use the camera to take naked pictures of yourself (or your good-looking friends, so you can pretend you look better than you do) and post them on the Internet.

Call now! Don't wait! These kits can't be found in stores.

Thank you so much!! I've been considering the cheaper Wal-mart version, but this sounds perfect! Just what I need to impress the neighbours. I owe you an enormous debt of gratitude, my friend!

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Oooh, you're just so clever!

Hey Ron! Why don't you get the fuck off my thread!

This conversation was between me and MS! I know this is a public forum and all, but come on! You have some nerve coming in MY thread and pitching your spiel. Couldn't you see that this was an intimate two-way conversation? I mean, some of this stuff was very deep and very private and you come in here and make light of it.

You should be ashamed. I mean, what if poor Candy had read this?

 

[Madame Pandora]

Re: Oooh, you're just so clever!

You should be ashamed. I mean, what if poor Candy had read this?

You could have always spotted her the $29.95



MP

[Edited by Madame Pandora on 01-21-2001 at 11:25 PM]

 

[Mustang Sally]

Red, my darling lesbian lover, you are just the sweetest thing! But don't worry about Candy, she can't read!

Check your email, babe.

 

[Samuari]

. The trailer can hold one more. I think we can fit a crib in that closet.

You could put in the camper shell an that way you wouldn't have 't get a car seat. and you could put next t da busted winder so she can feed it from da house.

 

[Miss Demeanor]

Hey! MP will you front me the $29.95?? Ooops!! Sorry Red, didn't mean to intrude....

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Hi Babe,

You have a camper shell! Oooh! Lucky you! Us never had enough money all at the same time to get us one. It woulda lookt so neat up on the El Camino.

Whew! I sure am glad Miss Candy can't read. Her poor little 'ol heart woulda been broke! So when's the baby comin'? She's a-plannin' tuh have it in the trailer, right? Cuz I wouldn't trust dem high-falootin' doctors any more 'n I could throw 'em. I read just last week in the National Enquirer how they was givin' babies to the aliens and pretendin' like they was dead.

Speakin' of the devils, Ol' Harry's takin' to wearin' aluminum wrap on his head so's to ward off 'em off. It's a shame he covers up that beautiful hair o' his. Here, I'm going to give you a link here to see the new look he's sportin'. It's just the latest thing 'round here.

http://www.mulletsgalore.com/
http://www.mulletlovers.com/

That second one there was the happiest day o' dear Harry's life.

Anyhow, them aliens come up here last night and cause such a ruckus the whole trailer darn near blew over. The chickens shore wa'n't happy 'bout that. They just a-hollered all night, they did.

Well, I best be goin' now. Remember to check your email. I sent you your horoscope! (It says me an' you are to be together forever!)

 

[Mustang Sally]

You are one lucky gal! Harry is real purdy! Maybe one day the three of us can get down and dirty together. My Jimmy wouldn't mind. He doesn't like it when I bug him for sex, cuz then he might miss a wrasslin' match on the TV.

Don't let Harry wear that aluminum wrap no more! My cousin's step-daddy did that and he got hit by lightning! Tell him to sprinkle some cat piss in front of the doorway and windows to keep the devil out of your house instead.

That horiscope was bang-on! You and me, like carrots and peas. You have mail, sugah.

 

[Guest]

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

Don't I get to come to the party?

Poodles is peoples, too.

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

'Specially in our world *wink*

 

[Angel]

How's life going? Still got that huge boil on your ass?

You know, that is a running joke between a friend and I. We were in her living room, and her husband came in, and announced to her (Not knowing I was there) that he had a pimple on his ass, could she check it out. I about died laughing, and now whenever I call, I ask her how her man's assboil is. And heaven help him when HE answers the phone.

 

[Puddles The Wonder Poodle]

'Specially in our world *wink*

http://royaume.com/~baladin/images/papanim_br.gif

what was that that you said?