help

[Berno_85]

i need help i have a date fri night hadnt been on a date in a few years also never had a date with a woman who has a child any ideals on a first day

 

[infinity706]

Well, for one thing, you could do something that you could bring her child along, too.

 

[wicked woman]

sorry but infinity's idea might not be the best. A lot of single moms don't like to involve dates with their children until she's sure the date will be around for the long-term. On another side, I'd think having a child along would be a distraction to getting to know the guy.


As for dating a woman with a child....treat her like any other woman you'd date....just be understanding that she has a child. By that I mean she's not likely to be able to be as spontaneous as someone without a child....babysitters need to be obtained...a child may require a bit of a schedule and at a minimum will take her a fair bit of her time. Don't try to buy the child off with presents or act like their Dad.

Take it slow...enjoy yourselves...get to know each other.

 

[Berno_85]

sorry but infinity's idea might not be the best. A lot of single moms don't like to involve dates with their children until she's sure the date will be around for the long-term. On another side, I'd think having a child along would be a distraction to getting to know the guy.


As for dating a woman with a child....treat her like any other woman you'd date....just be understanding that she has a child. By that I mean she's not likely to be able to be as spontaneous as someone without a child....babysitters need to be obtained...a child may require a bit of a schedule and at a minimum will take her a fair bit of her time. Don't try to buy the child off with presents or act like their Dad.

Take it slow...enjoy yourselves...get to know each other.

thanks wicked. i have no problem there being 3 of us on a date. i wont try to be there dad or treat her like the other women i dated

 

[Eilan]

sorry but infinity's idea might not be the best. A lot of single moms don't like to involve dates with their children until she's sure the date will be around for the long-term. On another side, I'd think having a child along would be a distraction to getting to know the guy.


As for dating a woman with a child....treat her like any other woman you'd date....just be understanding that she has a child. By that I mean she's not likely to be able to be as spontaneous as someone without a child....babysitters need to be obtained...a child may require a bit of a schedule and at a minimum will take her a fair bit of her time. Don't try to buy the child off with presents or act like their Dad.

Take it slow...enjoy yourselves...get to know each other.

I second all of this.

I had two girls from my first marriage when I met my husband, and he and I dated casually for at least two months before I introduced him to my girls. After that, the four of us did go on outings (and even took a vacation together) pretty regularly.

 

[Berno_85]

i decided to treat her like the others a gentelman. i also forgot to mention i also have a son i so know how yall are. we just going to take slow and see what happens

 

[phelon]

i certainly agree with the other suggestions, .. with the caveat.. communication

i was in the situation of dating a very wonderful woman with a daughter, it made for some odd schedule conflicts, and accepting of a few cancellations due to illness, or sitter issues,... but the big thing was to talk with her, so that it could be worked around, let her know your willing to try, and all you want is to be in the information loop so things can be tried.

hell, its nto a bad way to deal with any other relationship anyways.
good luck

 

[KarennaC]

As a single mother, I would prefer not to have a man I'm dating meet my kids until/unless I'm sure that it's going to be a relationship, not just a few dates. It was hard enough for my kids when I left their father, and I'd rather they not meet various men who may or may not be part of their lives for more than a few weeks. That's just my opinion.

The men I've dated have known that I had kids, and have understood that they would have to arrange things with me in advance so I could find a sitter or send the kids to their grandparents' for the evening. One man actually paid for the sitter each time I needed one, which since I'm on a limited income was greatly appreciated.

I don't think there's a set timeline for someone to meet the kids of the person they're dating; it depends on the people involved and the situation. One of the men I dated was introduced to my kids when he told me that once I had my divorce finalized, he wanted to marry me. (The relationship fell apart because he didn't like seeing me taking care of my kids when we went out together.) Another met them by default; he was in town unexpectedly and wanted to take me to dinner, and since I couldn't find a sitter on such short notice he invited my kids along. Although he and I dated for a few months after that, that was the only time he was around my kids.

It was a completely different situation with my current partner. I met him on a Saturday in May, and it was the stereotypical sappy "love at first sight" thing. Two days later, he asked if he could come watch a movie with me after he got out of work (and after driving 2 hours; he lives in a different state from me). Even though my kids were here, I let him come. Somehow, right from the start, it felt right to both of us, and to my kids, that he be part of their lives as well as part of mine. My older daughter now calls him her "Half-dad", and we're moving in together next summer, after my kids finish their current school years.

Be considerate of the woman and her kids; trust her instincts about what's right for her children, and above all if you do meet the kids, treat them with the same respect you'd like them to show you. But don't feel that you have to follow a set timeline, unless that seems like the right thing to do.

 

[Berno_85]

well thanks for the help but she stood me up and hadnt answered her phone