Help With A Redneck Judge

[Tom Collins]

I'm not sure when, but some time in the next few months I'm going to have to go back to Arkansas to testify against an asshole who's trying to steal part of my dad's estate property.

Basically, I'm going to have to convince the judge that no one, including my father, would give 7 acres of land, that hasn't even been paid for yet, to someone he's only just met and never bother to put it in this person's name and be nice enough to even keep paying the taxes on it for ten years.

I've never had to go to court before, and I've especially never had to convince some redneck judge that he should do what's right rather than what his "stand behind the local yokal" principals (if you can call them that) tell him he should do.

Basically, the problem that I'm asking for help with is in the neighborhood of attire. I have no clue what to wear.

I know what I can't wear. Nothing trampy, or he'll think I'm a whore and rule against me. Nothing even slightly masculine, or he'll think I'm a dyke, his little, misogynistic peepee will draw up into his body cavity in fear, and he'll rule against me. Nothing casual, or he'll think I'm trailer trash and rule against me. Nothing too classy, or he'll figure I don't need the money anyway, and rule against me. It also can't be too feminine because I look like shit in ruffles, trust me.

So, there's this narrow area of safty in which I can get something. The problem is, I don't really know clothes. I know what I like, but I don't know what other people think of that sort of thing. It might be too nice, or not nice enough or whatever.

Could someone, please, give me a hand with this?

I can give you a couple examples of what I like, to kind of give you a place to start from. I've had to put the links up, rather than linking the pics directly because of the ginormous size of the pics, it's the only size I can find of these.


This is nice, and I think it might be appropriate, but it could be too nice. I'm just not sure.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0507_38244_mm.jpg

I'm also not sure if it would be better with the pants or the skirt.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0525_30730_mm.jpg

I also like this a lot, the whole ensemble, but again, I don't know if it would be right, and not too nice. That's even the colour that I would get it in.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0537_17321_mm.jpg

 

[cloudy]

The third one is good.

The first two are either too flashy or too casual.

Don't assume that "Nothing too classy, or he'll figure I don't need the money anyway."

Judges are very well educated, trust me. Doesn't matter what area he works in now.

Your best bet? Get a lawyer.

 

[_Lynn_]

I'm not sure when, but some time in the next few months I'm going to have to go back to Arkansas to testify against an asshole who's trying to steal part of my dad's estate property.

Basically, I'm going to have to convince the judge that no one, including my father, would give 7 acres of land, that hasn't even been paid for yet, to someone he's only just met and never bother to put it in this person's name and be nice enough to even keep paying the taxes on it for ten years.

I've never had to go to court before, and I've especially never had to convince some redneck judge that he should do what's right rather than what his "stand behind the local yokal" principals (if you can call them that) tell him he should do.

Basically, the problem that I'm asking for help with is in the neighborhood of attire. I have no clue what to wear.

I know what I can't wear. Nothing trampy, or he'll think I'm a whore and rule against me. Nothing even slightly masculine, or he'll think I'm a dyke, his little, misogynistic peepee will draw up into his body cavity in fear, and he'll rule against me. Nothing casual, or he'll think I'm trailer trash and rule against me. Nothing too classy, or he'll figure I don't need the money anyway, and rule against me. It also can't be too feminine because I look like shit in ruffles, trust me.

So, there's this narrow area of safty in which I can get something. The problem is, I don't really know clothes. I know what I like, but I don't know what other people think of that sort of thing. It might be too nice, or not nice enough or whatever.

Could someone, please, give me a hand with this?

I can give you a couple examples of what I like, to kind of give you a place to start from. I've had to put the links up, rather than linking the pics directly because of the ginormous size of the pics, it's the only size I can find of these.


This is nice, and I think it might be appropriate, but it could be too nice. I'm just not sure.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0507_38244_mm.jpg

I'm also not sure if it would be better with the pants or the skirt.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0525_30730_mm.jpg

I also like this a lot, the whole ensemble, but again, I don't know if it would be right, and not too nice. That's even the colour that I would get it in.
http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0537_17321_mm.jpg

I go to court next month in front of a Judge. My lawyer told Me to dress this way--- Dress slacks with a blouse or sweater ---similar to office attire---nothing low cut or too casual. He didn't specify colors, but when I mentioned I have grey dress slacks he said they would be great. Good luck.

 

[Tom Collins]

The third one is good.

The first two are either too flashy or too casual.

Don't assume that "Nothing too classy, or he'll figure I don't need the money anyway."

Judges are very well educated, trust me. Doesn't matter what area he works in now.

Your best bet? Get a lawyer.

Thanks, coudy. I do have a lawyer, and I'll be asking his assistant this same question. I just wanted to get a sort of poll on the subject to help me decide.

I admit that I don't see what his education level means where his impression of my clothes is concerened. He's obviously a dumbass, or he would have thrown the case out when the thief filed suit.

 

[cloudy]

I go to court next month in front of a Judge. My lawyer told Me to dress this way--- Dress slacks with a blouse or sweater ---similar to office attire---nothing low cut or too casual. He didn't specify colors, but when I mentioned I have grey dress slacks he said they would be great. Good luck.

Yes. Think banker's business meeting, and you'll be fine.

Most importantly, in front of any judge, be beyond polite, and deferential.

 

[cloudy]

Thanks, coudy. I do have a lawyer, and I'll be asking his assistant this same question. I just wanted to get a sort of poll on the subject to help me decide.

I admit that I don't see what his education level means where his impression of my clothes is concerened. He's obviously a dumbass, or he would have thrown the case out when the thief filed suit.

Well, see...they can't just throw the case out without hearing it. He can throw it out once you're there, of course, and he just may do that. But if the guy has brought suit, wrong or right, he does have the right for it to be heard.

Just dress as if for a business meeting - no really flashy colors or much skin showing - and you should be fine.

 

[Tom Collins]

I go to court next month in front of a Judge. My lawyer told Me to dress this way--- Dress slacks with a blouse or sweater ---similar to office attire---nothing low cut or too casual. He didn't specify colors, but when I mentioned I have grey dress slacks he said they would be great. Good luck.

I can't really wear slacks, in the traditional sense. They make me look like a whale. Also, it's got to be something that'll be cool. We're talking Arkansas in May, or June. It's going to be hot and humid.

Would sandals be appropriate, do you think?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Cloudy is right. If you were going to court here, I could tell you. But Arkansas? You would have to get your advice from a local attorney.

Courts are different everywhere. Here, if you wear anything but gray or black, you lose. I went to court one time against some guy who wore shorts. Not only did he lose, but the judge threw him out of court and gave me a default judgement.

 

[_Lynn_]

I can't really wear slacks, in the traditional sense. They make me look like a whale. Also, it's got to be something that'll be cool. We're talking Arkansas in May, or June. It's going to be hot and humid.

Would sandals be appropriate, do you think?

I think they would be too casual, personally. It may be hot and humid, but you will be inside, where they should have AC. You can always change in the restroom afterwards to a cooler outfit.

 

[cloudy]

I think they would be too casual, personally. It may be hot and humid, but you will be inside, where they should have AC. You can always change in the restroom afterwards to a cooler outfit.

I agree.

Around here, anyway, it seems that judges treat you more seriously if it seems that you take them more seriously.

TC: my remark about education means that they went to law school. Most law schools aren't in backward Arkansas towns, so no matter where they're presiding, they do have some experience elsewhere.

 

[Tom Collins]

Yes. Think banker's business meeting, and you'll be fine.

Most importantly, in front of any judge, be beyond polite, and deferential.

Oh, yeah. I'm'a be a butt kissin', good girl while I'm in that court. Believe me.

Well, so...I guess I'll go with what's behind door number three unless someone comes along and shows me a pic of something better.

Well, see...they can't just throw the case out without hearing it. He can throw it out once you're there, of course, and he just may do that. But if the guy has brought suit, wrong or right, he does have the right for it to be heard.

Just dress as if for a business meeting - no really flashy colors or much skin showing - and you should be fine.

I really don't think the judge is on my side. He refused any sort of testimony that wasn't given in person. Is requiring me to travel 2,200 miles round trip and take a week off work to be there in person when I could have given testimoney over the phone or gotten a deposition done here and sent to them. He's basically made it clear that if I'm not willing to lose a week's pay and foot the cost of travel and hotels them I can fuck off and he'll hand my property over to his good ol' boy pal.

You have no idea how incredibly pissed off I am.

 

[_Lynn_]

I agree.

Around here, anyway, it seems that judges treat you more seriously if it seems that you take them more seriously.

Exactly.

 

[Tom Collins]

Cloudy is right. If you were going to court here, I could tell you. But Arkansas? You would have to get your advice from a local attorney.

Courts are different everywhere. Here, if you wear anything but gray or black, you lose. I went to court one time against some guy who wore shorts. Not only did he lose, but the judge threw him out of court and gave me a default judgement.

See? This is exactly what I'm worried about happening.It's unbelievable the shit they get away with.

 

[Tom Collins]

I agree.

Around here, anyway, it seems that judges treat you more seriously if it seems that you take them more seriously.

TC: my remark about education means that they went to law school. Most law schools aren't in backward Arkansas towns, so no matter where they're presiding, they do have some experience elsewhere.

That's true, but education doesn't keep him from being a moron. The fucker's got me by the short hairs, bloody well knows it, and is enjoying the power.

 

[_Lynn_]

That's true, but education doesn't keep him from being a moron. The fucker's got me by the short hairs, bloody well knows it, and is enjoying the power.

Don't let him see that. Go in with as much knowledge as you can find between now and then. Be as prepared as you can be.

 

[Tom Collins]

Don't let him see that. Go in with as much knowledge as you can find between now and then. Be as prepared as you can be.

Yeah, that's one reason for this trip down shopping lane. I'm not real big on having a lot of clothes, and I know that nothing I have right now will be right. This whole thing is a complete pain in the ass and has been for two and a half years now.

I think I should be able to charge this thieving motherfucker back rent since he's been using the land this whole time. Son-of-a-bitch even fenced it in with his land.

 

[Nookiehunter]

Don't let him see that. Go in with as much knowledge as you can find between now and then. Be as prepared as you can be.

Remember that most local judges are unsuccessful lawyers. What they want when they put on that robe is respect that they have not gotten in the past. If you remember that, you are halfway there.

Nookiehunter

 

[Tom Collins]

Remember that most local judges are unsuccessful lawyers. What they want when they put on that robe is respect that they have not gotten in the past. If you remember that, you are halfway there.

Nookiehunter

I'm not even sure Arkansas requires that judges be licenced lawyers. There are some places in the south where nearly anyone can run for the possition and if the people vote for you then you're in.

 

[Nookiehunter]

Help with a Redneck Judge

I'm not even sure Arkansas requires that judges be licenced lawyers. There are some places in the south where nearly anyone can run for the possition and if the people vote for you then you're in.

A lot of states don't require judges to be lawyers. We had a US Supreme Court Justice in the 1940's who had never been to law school. However, few can be elected without a law degree.

 

[cloudy]

TC: I wish you the best, but please don't assume that because someone speaks with a southern accent, or lives in a small town, that they're ignorant. The judge may be an asshole, but it doesn't mean he's stupid.

I fight this battle every single day.

 

[Tom Collins]

TC: I wish you the best, but please don't assume that because someone speaks with a southern accent, or lives in a small town, that they're ignorant. The judge may be an asshole, but it doesn't mean he's stupid.

I fight this battle every single day.

I'm obviously making an assumption about this individual, cloudy, but not about the people in the area. I lived among them for 10 years, and most of them are backward, no matter what they're educational level is. My address was in a twon where it's illegal to dance, and in a dry county. I spent 10 years living in Footloose, fer Christ's sake. The only place to find a bookstore that wasn't devoted to some Christian religion or other was in Littlerock. I'm talking about driving about 80 miles round trip to buy a damned book that isn't about Jesus. This is what these people are like, and I really doubt that they've changed in the last three years.

 

[cloudy]

I'm obviously making an assumption about this individual, cloudy, but not about the people in the area. I lived among them for 10 years, and most of them are backward, no matter what they're educational level is. My address was in a twon where it's illegal to dance, and in a dry county. I spent 10 years living in Footloose, fer Christ's sake. The only place to find a bookstore that wasn't devoted to some Christian religion or other was in Littlerock. I'm talking about driving about 80 miles round trip to buy a damned book that isn't about Jesus. This is what these people are like, and I really doubt that they've changed in the last three years.

Maybe not.

And my disgust isn't aimed at you, honestly. Just sick of having to prove that I'm not stupid because I'm from the south, when everyone else gets the benefit of a doubt.

 

[_Lynn_]

I'm obviously making an assumption about this individual, cloudy, but not about the people in the area. I lived among them for 10 years, and most of them are backward, no matter what they're educational level is. My address was in a twon where it's illegal to dance, and in a dry county. I spent 10 years living in Footloose, fer Christ's sake. The only place to find a bookstore that wasn't devoted to some Christian religion or other was in Littlerock. I'm talking about driving about 80 miles round trip to buy a damned book that isn't about Jesus. This is what these people are like, and I really doubt that they've changed in the last three years.

That is the same kind of place I grew up in. The city is still dry, and there is only one fast-food restaurant. There are churches everywhere you look. Only recently have they allowed a grocery store to be open on Sunday.
I make no assumptions about the people that live there today though. The few that run the city are not always indicative of the ones living there.
Just My 2-cents worth again.

This is in Michigan.....it isn't just the south.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Nope, none of those outfits.

You wear a business suit. Jacket, blouse that shows no skin, skirt, sensible dress shoes (low heels). Not a zillion dollar high fashion suit, just a dull, respectable one. The goal is to look like one of the lawyers. If he happens to think you are a lawyer, that's good. Something like this: http://www.anntaylor.com/IWCatSecti...&RestartFlow=t&Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=10084

Don't think that you have to display any part of your genuine person. Rather, think of it as theater. Not saying you aren't these things, but make them think you are a sober, serious, and knowledgeable person of substance. The implicit message is, "Don't fuck with me, because I'm a taxpayer, I know what I'm talking about, and I have the resources and knowhow to make you regret it if you do." (Whether or not any of that is true. ) That doesn't mean you act belligerantly or anything like that. You act confident (but not cocky), and display the utmost respect for the process, the person of the judge, and what he represents (which actually is something very worthy of respect - the rule of law.)

Best wishes, and good luck.

 

[_Lynn_]

Nope, none of those outfits.

You wear a business suit. Jacket, blouse that shows no skin, skirt, sensible dress shoes (low heels). Not a zillion dollar high fashion suit, just a dull, respectable one. The goal is to look like one of the lawyers. If he happens to think you are a lawyer, that's good. Something like this: http://www.anntaylor.com/IWCatSecti...&RestartFlow=t&Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=10084

Don't think that you have to display any part of your genuine person. Rather, think of it as theater. Not saying you aren't these things, but make them think you are a sober, serious, and knowledgeable person of substance. The implicit message is, "Don't fuck with me, because I'm a taxpayer, I know what I'm talking about, and I have the resources and knowhow to make you regret it if you do." (Whether or not any of that is true. ) That doesn't mean you act belligerantly or anything like that. You act confident (but not cocky), and display the utmost respect for the process, the person of the judge, and what he represents (which actually is something very worthy of respect - the rule of law.)

Best wishes, and good luck.

Good choice.